This morning is day 18! I can't believe I am saying that, I feel like a miracle has occurred. Call the Vatican! My first post "back then" I was so afraid because I nearly drank myself to death that night before. Today I feel so good and proud. And of course it hasn't always been a walk in the park, but the support of this site has been amazing and has kept me going when I felt like giving in or "rewarding" myself (yeah right, some reward - hangover!). I do the supps and CD's and feel hopeful that each day will get better.
I haven't been the mom I wished I was because I found it so incredibly stressful. I thought I needed a drink just to prepare dinner, deal with baths, homework, etc. Now I remind myself that with all this new found energy, my reward comes in the morning when I bounce out of bed at 5 and get a few hours completely alone.
Last night we had a really wicked storm. My 15 year old daughter was at a sleepover and scared. She asked me to keep my cell by me because she "might need me" (you don't hear that often from a girl that age!). We texted throughout the evening when normally I would have been passed out, and again at 2am. The buzz woke me up when normally I would've slept right through it in my little self induced coma. We texted for a while and she thanked me for waking up and being there for her. I felt immensely proud just over the little fact that I was there for her when she needed me. I think little reminders like that will keep me going, along with all of your support.
Sorry, did not mean to write a book, but just so very grateful to you all and the MWO program. To all of you newbies who are frightened and scared, just keep trying, never give up. There is hope, and you will find it here and within yourselves!
I haven't been the mom I wished I was because I found it so incredibly stressful. I thought I needed a drink just to prepare dinner, deal with baths, homework, etc. Now I remind myself that with all this new found energy, my reward comes in the morning when I bounce out of bed at 5 and get a few hours completely alone.
Last night we had a really wicked storm. My 15 year old daughter was at a sleepover and scared. She asked me to keep my cell by me because she "might need me" (you don't hear that often from a girl that age!). We texted throughout the evening when normally I would have been passed out, and again at 2am. The buzz woke me up when normally I would've slept right through it in my little self induced coma. We texted for a while and she thanked me for waking up and being there for her. I felt immensely proud just over the little fact that I was there for her when she needed me. I think little reminders like that will keep me going, along with all of your support.
Sorry, did not mean to write a book, but just so very grateful to you all and the MWO program. To all of you newbies who are frightened and scared, just keep trying, never give up. There is hope, and you will find it here and within yourselves!
ray:
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