I said I hadnt, but that Im ready to now because things are getting ridiculously out of hand.
I phoned the number (shaking like a leaf) and they're going to get back in touch with me for an assessment, counseling and talk about a personal recovery plan.
Ive also come clean to my father that Im drinking again. He's disappointed, but said wel done for taking a step forward to helping myself. I cant talk to my mother about it because she recently had a mini-stroke, and I KNOW she will be so ashamed and worried about me.
My dad said to me last week "Just stop drinking..."
I smiled, and said it wasnt as simple as that.
He said "So, are you an alcoholic now?"
To that, I kind of paused and then actually said out loud for the first time "Yes. Yes, I am. And I need help".
He looked devastated, and I was surprised to hear myself say it to him, that I accepted I was an alcoholic.
Well, its now 10.36am and Ive just had a glass of wine.
The shakes have stopped enough now for me to do my housework, but I honestly dont know if I can abstain from drinking anymore today.
Needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening
Chelle.
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