Im back

[Karl1981]

hey all well im back. been sober for over 3 months.. had a major bender last weekend. found out my girl was cheating on me still.. im having a beer now :upset:

[Karl1981]

Im back

well. its 3:30 am here. im so lonely and sad.... might finnish my beer pop another valium and try to sleep.. fingers croseed i dont wake up in the morning. its all to hard. why bother quiting drinking. nothing changes.. im still a worthless person, living life as best as i can..

3 months down the drain. what a fucking waste i have become.

[lukalee]

Im back

Ok, I'm lost. How does this woman going out and being a stupid bitch make you worthless???? You may not believe it now, but there are people who will treat you a lot better than this woman ever has. She cannot dictate your worth, and she certainly is not worth not wanting to wake up in the morning.
I'm sorry you are feeling so low.

[gyco]

Im back

like wise nc to hav you back,enjoy the beer but heed the directions on the volume hahaha it almost killed me she aint worth havin more pain for moderate if anything allis not a waste gyco

[Karl1981]

Im back

well, um she has bipolar. not really an excuse. but after 2 and half years, its hard to let go. she means everything to me. and still does. i forgive her yet again. its stupid i know. but its how i feel inside. its hard to explain. i want to help her more then i want to help myself. id give her the world. id do anything for her.

It just makes me seem thats its my problem. everythings been my problem. and i guess i just have to work that out.

maybe this is not me speaking its the v and beers. but thats the way its always been i need a crutch.
just depressed. mixed feelings and emotions. same shit different day it seems.

[lukalee]

Im back

It's not your problem, and you need not be a martyr here. I can just feel your thoughts....If only I quit drinking everything will be better...You quit drinking...everything's not better.....Leaving her out of the picture, did you feel better about yourself when you weren't drinking? I feel you really need to start thinking about yourself. You will never have a healthy relationship if one person is EVERYTHING to you. You should never treat someone better than you treat yourself.
Read your own signature; you have great advice there.
I'm sorry if I sound so harsh. I don't really believe in tough love, but I am very much like you, and I sometimes really wish someone would give me a swift kick in the ass.
Karl, You are worth much more than this, please love and take care of yourself.

[river0123]

Im back

Hi Karl,
I wish I could remember which member posted this phrase last week, but please try to remember it always: "God does not make junk".

You are not a waste and your efforts are not wasted. Give yourself some time to feel sad, but please don't feel that you are worthless. Another person can not define who you are (I know that is easy to say but hard to feel sometimes).
And way to go on 3 months!!! So many of us can't even imagine reaching that point, and you did. Wow!
Can I say again how grateful I am for this site, a place where we can try, fail, succeed, fail, try again, and never, ever feel alone? I love you all!!! ~ River:h

[Karl1981]

Im back

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

[Captnjack]

Im back

Karl I remember you!!!!! you are a brave heart!!!!!! but stop the fucking Valium and drinking thing it will lead you know where. Relationship problems dont get resolved by writing your self off. Its heart breaking i know when some one who you have given everthing too...... behind your back plays around. Karl go to sleep log on here tommorrow and talk and post till you get to a place were the Val and booze are your enemies and understanding is your friend. You have an army of freinds behind you here don't worry. We all together can work this thing out .
Love cap

[FloridaBoy]

Im back

Karl1981;365774 wrote: Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Yes, but love is a two way street....and with her you are on the road to where you do not want to be. There are plenty of great women out there Karl. Do not let her take you down. You miss her but like a bad cold you will get over it and feel great when you do.

[lorisunshine]

Im back

Hello Karl,
Infidelity and deceit is "ABUSE", period. What would you do if she took a baseball bat to your head on a regular basis? Would you defend yourself? Would you get your wounds mended and then waltz in the door calling "honey, I'm home?" All is forgiven until the next time.
She is trampelling your very soul with hobnail boots and everytime you forgive and she encounters no consequences to her actions, the situation will arise again, only worse. Believe me, I know of which I speak.

Your first and foremost responsibility in life is to love yourself for who you are and to know that you are precious. That does not mean your are self centred and egotistical. As long as you don't respect and love yourself, you truly cannot love another. Sometimes we think that we are so in love but in the end it really is only a form of codepencency.

You have been 3 months AF which is a grand achievement and you can do it again. If you are totally sober tomorrow then the other problems will stare you in the face with renewed intensity. Substances will only prolong the inevitable.

Don't let anybody treat you like shit because you deserve a whole lot better than that. It's not acceptable and it will totally demoralize you over the long haul.

Big hugs,
Lori

[lukalee]

Im back

I just wanted to send a hug your way. I truly do know how hard it is.:l:l

[Captnjack]

Im back

WOW Lori that is awesome

[4theboyz]

Im back

Hey Karl,

Sounds as though you are a hopeless romantic and your heart is broken. Minor details bro...you'll get over it! In the mean time kick the b!#ch, the beer and the valium to the curb and move on.

Treat yourself to something special, something you have put off getting or doing and go get it. Stop the pity party now before you mess yourself up and really feel like poo about all this!

[caseaday]

Im back

Karl...I think you should move from being a "Hopeless Romantic" to a "Hopeful Romantic". It appears that you thrive on trying to help move your "girlfriend" move from her helpless situation to one of more stability and prosperity. The simple reality of that situation is that you aren't capable of doing that. A. you aren't professionally equipped to do so and B. SHE has to do that herself. You may be able to rescue an abandoned puppy alongside the road but with human's it is just impossible.

At this point you are saying to all who have posted, "they just don't understand, they haven't seen her beautiful smile, she has a heart of gold, she has so much potential, they didn't experience the long walks and conversations". To that, I/we say..."sure it was great, but she is in a position to cause you great harm, you are fragile, and there are better women out there. Cut the relationship off, take some time to heal, get around some positive people, get sober again, and find the hottest, smartest, most brilliant woman in Australia you can because you deserve it.

All advice you would be giving to your best friend....