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    #16
    Im back

    Hello Karl,

    Lorisunshine and all the others have given you some wonderful, warm advice. I'd post it to my heart (and on the fridge) and read it often.

    The passage you quote from ICorinthians 13 is truly a beautiful one. It is said at many weddings. However, when the apostle Paul was writing this to the people of Corinth, he was referring to spiritual gifts and works - that they are meaningless unless done in love. It is love that makes our actions and gifts useful. That said, it's perfectly understandable that you're twisted up inside over your "love" for your girl. However, that supposed love is not making your actions useful - just the opposite. So, I'd hesitate to call it love - it's closer to insanity or as someone above said "co-dependency."

    Through the heartache, you will just have to trust the loving voices here who assure you it does, indeed, get better. You must make you life, your health, your sobriety a priority. Then, to witness the life that lies ahead can be done through the real eyes of love - for yourself as God's creation and for others. We all hope to hear from you often. God bless.

    V.

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      #17
      Im back

      Hi Karl,
      I remember you posted around the same time I started here, March I think?
      At the time you had split up from your girlfriend so I am assuming this is the same girl we are talking about?? Were you engaged?
      Fair play on the three months sober- you are obviously a strong man, I haven't gone more than about two weeks AF and then giving into it.
      You mention your girl is bi-polar - is she being treated for that?.
      You mention that you want to help her more than yourself - I have been there in the past - I don't think it works. It sounds like you are giving her your all and from your posts it doesn't sound like she is giving much back in return, especially if she is cheating.
      From what I have read of your posts you sound and look like a young man who is very caring and wears his heart on his sleeve. From an outsiders opinion, and yes I know I don't know, but I think this girl is messing you up big time and I think you know it too, maybe just afraid of the alternative in living without her. You have your whole life ahead of you, please try and put yourself first and then find someone who appreciates you and loves you with the same amount that you have to give.
      Hoping it all works out
      Best Wishes
      :h
      Bandit
      There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

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        #18
        Im back

        Karl, come back again. Love Ripples. :h

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          #19
          Im back

          Karl, how are you today?
          *Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result* Albert Einstein

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            #20
            Im back

            Hi Karl,

            Your post spoke to me...I feel your pain, and wish you strength and love.

            I hope you are still well, please let me hear from you!

            bjb
            Things do not change, we change.
            ~Henry David Thoreau

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              #21
              Im back

              "Love is"....one of my favorite passages in that wonderul book.

              I understand saying that something means the world and all and is everything to you.
              It is a way of trying to state how you feel at a time when it may be difficult to express through all the pain you are in. I have messed up with the way I express and spoke in mumblings at times. Or I should called them "numblings" as I was under the , well, you know as you are beer in hand.

              You can "trust" that no one here will be unfaithful to you because they are learning to be faithful to themselves; each uniquely in each owns personal place of sacred understanding. I feel like I am still in the womb at times, awaiting birth and a chance at a new life.

              "This above all else, to thine own self, be true".
              "Love your neighbor as YOURSELF"

              Love your precious self. Love your own presence and embrace all your magnificence.
              :l
              :notes:Theme2be

              " Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them~everyday begin the task anew".-Saint Francis de Sales

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                #22
                Im back

                Hi Karl,
                :hallo:
                Love will be less painful when you never expect to get back anything.

                I'm not advice anything, just maybe these words can give you one of the reason to be AL again. Don't give up!

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                  #23
                  Im back

                  Hi,
                  I've wondered about you I can't add anything to the advice given. Just wanted to say we are here for you. I know it's difficult when you love someone so much but you need to learn to love yourself more.

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