First Time Here

[DipnCwby]

Hey everyone. I just found this site and am seriously looking it.
I went through a 5 day treatment program in January. Quit drinking all together for 3 months. Then started again. I was doing pretty well with the moderation at that time. Today I went out and had 3 drinks and then went to a work event. They know about my treatment and I am now subject to testing at anytime. I'm not sure if my boss new I had been drinking or not. I was not acting crazy probably just a little more animated than normal.

I was unable to sleep much last night. Kept waking up. Going walking trying to sort out what to do next. I have to get this under control. Otherwise, I am going to lose my job. I might lose it anyway come Monday if I was suspected of being under the influence. Who knows....

In any event, I still want to stop or just be a moderate drinker. Sometimes I think that just isn't possible for me.

I am hoping that MWO might work for me. I will make a DR appointment when the office opens later this morning and try the topa.
:new:

[Guest]

First Time Here

Hi Cowboy,

Welcome to the board. There are so many lovely people all struggling with the same problem; so feel comfortable that you are not alone in this struggle. Quitting for 3 months is wonderful and a great accomplishment.

I always find that drinking and sleepless nights go hand in hand, along with the strange dreams and just generally feeling very unhealthy. Even a few days off the drink I find there is a huge difference. I am working on moderating as well, and it is an every day battle for me not to give in and just let go.

I hope you find all the support you need her, please post as much as you want. All the different areas here are filled with really good information and the support is amazing. I wish you luck.

[1967]

First Time Here

hi.

i hope this site helps u, it certainly has done a lot for me and many others. it's kind of like a "true confessions hotline." Or, maybe a "dirty laundry forum." it helps, however u wanna describe it.

look, u can't go to work functions anymore if u even have a drop of alcohol in your system. it says u are a musician? i'm a fine art painter. i have a full time day job that if i f_ck up i would be a first class jerk. it is very hard for artists to work in our fields and earn enough money to eat food and sleep inside.
i know it is hard for everyone, but art/music/performing arts... crap it is not an easy ride.

maybe u should try going cold turkey for a while? i tried for a really long time and couldn't hang on by myself. this site has helped as i feel accountable for my actions now. before, no one knew i was trying to stop drinking so my failures were unrecognized.
i don't know about u but i don't wanna fail. now there are people out there who know i'm trying to get better.
in the beginning i had to break my day into sections to manage.
i'm 22 days AF today and it is getting much easier. i'm a bit worried that over time i will forget how tough it was to stop and go back to my 'wicked' ways. it was REALLY hard the first 10 days, after, each day was slightly better.
i'm still grateful to wake in the night and not be drunk.
when i wake i continue to ask myself, are u drunk? the answer these days is "oh, excellent... nope. i'm not drunk... cool."

[LVT25]

First Time Here

Hi cowboy--

Since you were sober 3 months, you already know how good that feels. I think if you try this program, it will help you stay that way!
:welcome:

[Seacailin]

First Time Here

Welcome

Just wanted to say Hi and Welcome. I have lost three jobs in the last year because I could not show up, because of my drinking. I know that I can not moderate. I am only 15 days alcohol free. It feels good to "show up for life". I did not think I could do it this time, but with the help of my doc, this program and AA, so far so good. Hope you will stick around. There are Great people here. I look forward to reading your posts. I sometimes jump in Live chat in the evenings too. It is helpful.

[Guest]

First Time Here

Seacailin... congrats on the 15 days AF!

[DipnCwby]

First Time Here

Thanks

Thank you all for the encouragement. I need it. It has been an interesting morning so far going through the stuff I went through back in January of this year.

Wondering...how did I let this happen again? I had done so well.

However, today brings new hope. I am hopeful that I can again get the place I was. Here we go.
:thanks:

[Guest]

First Time Here

I wonder the same thing, and quite frequently about myself...

It will get better, for all of us. Just hold your head high, dust your self off and keep forging ahead.

[DipnCwby]

First Time Here

:thanks:

Thank you Gia. It is a help to have this on-line world so close to me. I have stayed home all day so far. When I'm feeling crazed I log on here and read. It is helping me alot to get through the day.

I have a concert tonight. My boss will be there. I am wondering if she will ask about my drinking yesterday. I tend to think of the worst case scenario all the time.

I guess if I get fired, I will just find a new job.

[Guest]

First Time Here

If you were not tested for AL in your system; I don't believe they can fire you as there is no legal reasoning for it. If she asks, personally myself, I would just say I had such a fantastic day and I was on a natural high..but that's just me. Not everyone has to know everything about you.. I think of the worst case scenario as well, and blow it all out of proportion..worrying myself for nothing and causing myself a lot of stress. I think it's normal behaviour when you have a drinking problem. You're always a bit more paranoid. I'm sure it will all be fine; try to have fun at the concert. You deserve a night of fun.

[vera-b]

First Time Here

Hello Cowboy,

It sounds like you're ready to start a new life. Most have found there is no single magic bullet which is part of the brilliance of RJ's program. It attacks from every angle - physical, mental, and health-wise. There is no better support system that I know of, and the fact we can connect in the anonymous comfort of our couches makes it all the better. Arm yourself with a plan, put your back into it, and come here for all the atta boys, hugs, and kicks in the rear. Take care.

V.

[tlrgs]

First Time Here

:hello::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv:

[1967]

First Time Here

If the boss asks... which I think seems highly unlikely, just say no. End of story. Don't elaborate. Good luck. I'm sending u good vibes... I know how hard it is to work at night and not count on AL to keep you going. You can do it. I know it. )