Gotta keep trying...

[LucidLynn]

Hi everyone!
I stopped posting because I've been on a binge... a six pack after work, 12 beers yesterday, I believe I just won the "Slob of the Weekend" award. Please don't say it's ok, because it is not.
I have to stop fighting so hard to be able to drink, and just give up. The logical part of my brain has to get control. I know I have a problem and there is only one solution to it, it sounds so simple.
What disgusts me the most is, I haven't even been having the urge to drink, it's like, guess I'll pop a top just because... Not even enjoying it... Fresh brewed iced tea, now that's enjoyable!
I wish I could snap my fingers and make it go away. I think about running into someone from an old job and having him say "let's get together for a beer some time", and I say "I don't drink any more". That thought makes me smile. That's the person I want to be.
I'm going to the book store today, need to read about making positive changes. Hoping to feel inspired.
Peace.

[LucidLynn]

Gotta keep trying...

No - I've had very bad experiences trying to talk to doctors about this. Way too judgemental... I usually walk out feeling worse than when I got there. I do kind of like St. John's Wort, seems to take a bit of the edge off.
What's killing me is, I was very productive in the morning, and let AL just kill the rest of the day, just because. Now, it has killed this morning too because I feel like shit.

[Panacea]

Gotta keep trying...

I'm with ya Lucid....I messed up yesterday, only a glass of wine, but enough to piss me off.

I read on another thread about a book called Dry, by Augusten Burroughs. Bought it yesterday, and gonna start reading it today. From what I heard, it's pretty good. Not sure about it being a "how to" book, just a story about his struggle w/alcohol and his hard life.

[LucidLynn]

Gotta keep trying...

Doctors are the worst... actually told me I would never succeed at beating AL!!! How's that for support? Talk about a subliminal message! I'd love to use the anger I feel over that and get sober just to prove her wrong!

[Panacea]

Gotta keep trying...

LucidLynn;366791 wrote: Doctors are the worst... actually told me I would never succeed at beating AL!!! How's that for support? Talk about a subliminal message! I'd love to use the anger I feel over that and get sober just to prove her wrong!

What the hell kinda Dr was that!?!?! Well, with my health insurance, it gives me the right to choose my Dr. I would've told that quack off, and moved on.