getting bit worried again.

[maggymay]

i was tootling along thinking i was getting somewhere and after an emotional dip think about my not so perfect relationship sudddenly found myself yesterday afternoon having vodka and coke and another one. i had friends for dinner and had some wine with them. i did not have too much by former standards but now am very sorry about it..... last week on the thread i was doing vera b warned me of this - alchohol lurking in the background ready to pounce so now I know what she means. I am afraid this could start a spiral down for me to the old coming in from work and hitting the bottle. God I have never even said it like that before. I think I better get my head around this quickly as I do not want it to happen. I am not as upbeat as I was and see the human side of this more clearly - think I just thought I can just do this and forget it - and make bread!! Little bit innocent I now think. I might need the AF programme as the moderate one might just allow me to slip back. I will definitely have to make effort to stay away from it as I certainly felt yesterday like letting go again.

On a lighter note Colin Farrell went off in a helicopter yesterday so missed him. My friend is involved in the project and I asked him to get his telephone number but apparently I would have to give a photo first!! So that is that - but as we say in this country God loves a trier.

ODAT for me now.

Good luck everyone.

Maggymay

[Guest]

getting bit worried again.

Quitting is very very hard; try not to keep any in your house. If it's not within reach it does help. Don't beat yourself up too much about it, it was after all just a few and you remained in control. It's normal to feel bad about it the next day; it's a goal you are working on. Chin up honey, and keep going.

[boozehag]

getting bit worried again.

Hi MM
I love Colin Farrell - he is soo the Irish Brad Pitt.....
Sorry to hear you are struggling now. I remember when you joined and you were really upbeat and positive about the program. Did you do the 30 days or just go straight to modding? Did you read the book and get the supplements etc - the kudzu and L glut especially for the cravings.
I have almost 4 months now of control over my binge drinking and smoking (which was well out of control) despite one minor slip which actually helped me see what my new limits are. I dont really even think about it too much now and knowing that I can have a drink if I want one (but dont usually) takes away the will I wont I voices. I dont know if this is any help to you but I really think you gotta get as many of the tools as you can and attack it with everything you can get your hands on and from what you have achieved previously with your law degree etc I am sure you can do it. It really does get easier you know - I hope this helps.
BH (no more)

[maggymay]

getting bit worried again.

have sent off for the supplements but they seem to have gone missing. getting that sorted now so they should help. Feel better now that I am at work. I think it was the physical reaction as well that bothered me. No more beating up now. Will keep going. Did about a week and then the modding. So I think I will have to go AL for the moment and not be too proud to admit my difficulties.

Thanks again.

[Guest]

getting bit worried again.

im going to have to go al with you Maggy. I had two bad nights over the weekend and have proved to myself again and again that modding is not possible for me.

[vera-b]

getting bit worried again.

Hello dear Maggy,

So difficult to admit we're human! But quite honestly, it's been my failures that have taught me more - how to be more alert to the danger signals, and to embrace others with far more compassion than I otherwise would. I also learn so much from others, which is a big reason I come here daily. Your slip left you with more resolve, so there's a silver lining. Thank you for sharing the good and the bad - I'm confident you will succeed!

V. (eating my dose of humble pie as I write)