no one knows how much I drink!

[Mickey16]

I have a fantastic husband and two beautiful children. They know I love to drink and sometimes teased me about how silly I would get. So over the last few years I have been hiding my drinking - and drinking from one to one-and-a-half bottles of wine per night. I run a high-powered business and look forward to the end of the day when I can have a quiet few drinks in my office before heading home. I arrive home drunk, but functional, and then quietly drink more and end up asleep on the couch by 8.30pm ... having spent no time with the kids or my husband. I take a sleeping pill to avoid hangovers. I have tried hypnosis and that had a limited affect. My marriage isn't in trouble, but I'm sure my health is. I'm too embarrassed to talk to a doctor and I have heard AA is a humiliating experience and I don't want my staff or friends to know how deep into this I am. I NEED TO DEAL WITH IT PRIVATELY. I never used to drink that much, but started after I was diagnosed and treated for post-natal depression some 14 years ago (I am still taking anti-depressants). I am in general a positive and driven person who is considered very successful in the business world. Am I addicted, and how do I deal with it privately. I know when I am AF for a few days I sleep a whole lot better! Sorry to ramble on. Thank you for listening. :new:

[New Day]

no one knows how much I drink!

Welcome Mickey --- other than being in business, my story is exactly like yours and I'm also dealing with it privately. My husband doesn't know I'm on this site for help.... I haven't admitted to him that I need it ... I'd be too ashamed to. The only person I've confided in is my Sister-in-law because she drinks just as much as I do, and I've told her how I worry about how it's affecting my health. Now, I've decided I don't want to continue drinking, because now that I'm hiding how much I do, I know it's gotten out of control.
I found this site almost 2 weeks ago and had a hard time stringing 2 AF days together.... the weekends always get me. Started again Sunday, so now I've just completed 3 days AF ... but couldn't have done it without the support I've found here. I pop on here when hubby isn't around and read what others have tried. I've ordered the book, but haven't received it yet. Just chatting to others here will help .... no one is judgemental, just supportive. You've come to the right place.

[caseaday]

no one knows how much I drink!

Welcome to the community. You will find a lot of support here so take advantage of it and you will find many people are dealing with issues similar to yours.

You will also discover that people close to you do have a pretty good idea that you have a problem even though they don't know exactly how much you drink. Does it really matter whether it is 5 or 10 or 15 or in my case 24 or a day when I was hitting it hard? The real issue is the outcome and end result of your drinking. Laying on the couch passed out while people are passing by you living a life without you. Hmmm...doesn't sound good does it. Imagine how you must look and what you must be missing.

It really isn't worth it and you know it. If I can go from drinking a case of beer a day down to being AF I am sure that you can Mod or go AF to enjoy the benefits of your family. Just imagine how great that would be.

You will feel absolutely wonderful.

[livingfree]

no one knows how much I drink!

Your story is like many here ... We all want a place to work this out - our own way. You will find lots of support here. Read RJ's book and start the program. You don't have to take the Rx - as RJ points out in the book. It's there if you need to try it. I would recommend you start with the supplements and exercise - and put 30 days Alcohol free days in. You will be in a better clearer frame of mind to make the next step.

From one who ran a multi million dollar company for 16 years ... drinking to cope .... I know.

Welcome Mickey - you will find a way out.

[FinallyRN]

no one knows how much I drink!

Welcome both of you..............this site saved my life........it has been that simple. I joined last November 2007 and I never thought I would achieve what I have. I went to AA but NOTHING had even come close to the sympathy and support I have gotten from here. I did the 30 days AF but since then i am trying to learn where I fall. I managed moderation in the past but have chosen at his point to remain AF.

[suez2225]

no one knows how much I drink!

Hi Micky,
:welcome:When you feel alone in your problem and need to share just come here, because in here you can pour everything out without being judge. Good Luck....:h

[My New Beginning]

no one knows how much I drink!

Welcome Micky!:welcome:
There are so many of us going through the same struggle. My hubby has no idea that I come to MWO for help and support. Yes, he knows I 'drink too much' as he says but I honestly don't think that he knows really how much. My family knows that I love wine but I don't think they really know how much either. This is my private struggle for now. I'm not ready to admit to my friends and family yet. This site has made a big difference in my life as I have had many more AF days than I've had in 5 years. Don't know where I would be if it wasn't for this place and great support. Hang in there and remember to take it One Day at a Time. You have come to the right place. Good to have you here!:groupluv:

[Cinders]

no one knows how much I drink!

Micky,

:welcome:

Please read the book. It is the place to really start looking at your approach.

Look forward to getting to know you.

Cindi

[ntcentral]

no one knows how much I drink!

My husband thinks I'm hypoglycemic because "one glass" knocks me out on the couch.

Many of us could write your story. We function well at work, we have loving families, we look attractive enough, the laundry gets done every week, and we manage to get dinner on the table despite having logged eight hours in at work---- life is good except for this one little abberration: every night we drink ourselves into oblivion.

It does catch up with you. One day you look around and realize that your little ones are teenagers and you wonder where all the time went. Even worse, you realize that the people you care about most in the world have developed an evening life that doesn't include you because you are off in La-La land every night.

I regret that I didn't wake up to this realization sooner. With that said, it feels SOOO good to leave it all behind and start anew.

[Bandit]

no one knows how much I drink!

Hi Micky,
:welcome:
Again I can relate to a lot of what you have said.
I too want to deal with my AL issues privately mainly because I am a very quiet and private person but also I would be just too embarrased to go 'public' so to speak and AA, the little I do know about it, does not appeal to me, nor does going to the doctor. Also, I would be afraid it would affect my career (everyone knows everyone round here!).
This site is helping me to do it in my own way. The only person I have told about it is my husband.
Hoping it works for you too, there are a lot of people here who are all going through the same thing.
:h
Bandit

[Ripple]

no one knows how much I drink!

here is your tool kit..

First of all welcome~

ADMIT, ACCEPT, be HONEST, RESEARCH, go to HEALTH STORE, stick with COMMUNITY...reach out and touch. :lilheart::lilheart::lilheart:

[lizalaraine]

no one knows how much I drink!

This is the beginning

:lI just joined this group a couple days ago and am at the beginning of my journey to stay AF and I believe there is hope within this community. Your story is me - often times I'm cleaning or looking for something in a closet and find an empty bottle I had hidden and forgot. My husband or family has no idea of how much I drink because I haven't missed a beat functioning day to day. I have downloaded the book and it is printing right now. I too don't want others to know. The ironey of all this is I started an Alanon group in our community 3 yrs ago due to family members that are alcoholic. I just can't believe it got ahold of me. So let's do this one day at a time together.

[WaitingToExhale]

no one knows how much I drink!

Like many others, I can relate to your story. Unlike you, I live alone so I don't even need to hide the bottles. But I'm pretty certain that those close to me are WELL aware I have a drinking problem.

They may not know the exact amounts, but we do such foolish things when AL gets out of control that it is seen by others.

I'm still bouncing all over the board trying to mod and than get a few AF days under my belt. Going through a horrible break up has given me the excuse to drown my sorrows in wine more often than I am happy with. But I AM going to kick this damn habit. One day at a time ...

Stick around. If I have learned nothing else, when I leave here is when I get myself back in trouble.

[Theme2be]

no one knows how much I drink!

It is with a deep breath that I read and listen and so understand.
It has baffled me how I have failed at loosing this looser, bringer of misery.
I am a closet, off to myself slam them down recluse when I am not in public for work.
I have not met with any friends from two years ago, because I am sure they would be able to tell. I can hardly look at myself. I have wanted to post some pictures on here,but, I feel it would be dishonest because they are from when I was sober. I instantly metamorphisize back to me as I truly am in a moments notice when I stop drinking.
I drink it so fast until I pass out to awake the next morning and pull it all together to get to AM job.
Someone has to notice, I see it.

I loath it, and am never giving up as I pray you also keep on keeping on.
Keep coming here, as I have found it is so warm and brings such relief from the fear of failure.

I understand about life passing you by. I work, come home and wait until the house is dark and start behind my doors, making the right noise, so as to not bring suspision.

I am mystified when I see someone begin here anew and get it right from the start, I view it as a miracle.

Ours is on the horizon, maybe a breath away.

With high hopes~

[Mickey16]

no one knows how much I drink!

wow! I am just blown away by everyone's support and non-judgement. Thank you all so very very much. I thought I was so alone with this, and that no one else hid their drinking or had a similar situation - and I never thought I could share with anyone what I shared. Thank you. I do not feel alone any longer and I know I will find the strength from this forum to do what I need to do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart everyone.