Ashamed and in need of support

[lil.michelle]

Hi everyone. I'm a new here and yes i have a drinking problem. I've been drinking since i was 13 and for the past few years it got really bad. I fell pregnant and stopped without a problem but after she was born i suffered from post natal depression and then my husband got cancer (which he is now clear of) and i started to drink again.

My husband isn't a drinker so i hide my drink from him so he'll not ask me questions or talk down to me or even think i have a problem. I hide bottles of wine in my draws, behind things ect ect and if he sees me drinking i'll fill the bottle up with water or something so he'll not think i've drunk that much.

I've come clean to him and showed him my hiding places and admitted that i've got a problem but within days, i'm back drinking again and hiding it.

I need help to stop, i need support. I need to do this for my health, my marriage (it's not in trouble) and my baby girl who's 8 months.

I just love to unwind after a hard day at work but one glass is never one, it turns into 2, 3 and a bottle. It's just such an easy way out of my head, helps me relax. It's like an excape but it bites me in the ass the next day and it needs to stop!

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!
:new:

[sweetpea]

Ashamed and in need of support

lil.michelle

You have done the right thing coming to MWO because so many people can relate to what you are saying - the amount of times I have read a similar story - so don't feel you are by yourself in this struggle

If you have not already done so download Roberta Jewell?s book, get some supplements, get the dvds but most importantly read as many of the threads you can and keep posting. There is always someone on the site 24/7 that will respond to any questions

Most importantly YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN

I am learning to moderate well so there is hope but each person must do what is right for them. The main thing from reading the book is you must do 30 days free from drinking before you evaluate what to do next

Love Sweetpea:l:h xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[gyco]

Ashamed and in need of support

well mich your in the rite spot,dont hide the booze that creates a problem in it s self,as far as your concerned you ve recognised it and want help,just slow down or stop,your mind is already workin on it,and it sounds like u havee a great partner gyco

[AMELIA]

Ashamed and in need of support

Lil.michelle,

Welcome. You have made the first step towards recovery by coming to the site (and of course telling your husband). I know how you are feeling as I have drunk secretly and hid bottles etc.
You will get loads of support from members on this site. All you have to do is ask.
Read through the posts and start to get to know people - there are some very inspirational people here.

As Sweetpeas says 'you are not on your own'. We all understand as we have been in similar situations.

Looking forward to seeing you around.
Love Amelia

[A Work in Progress]

Ashamed and in need of support

Michelle, believe me, the shame feels horrible, but IT PASSES. It really does. Getting support from others in similar circumstances helps a lot with that... and getting out of the shame-inducing behaviors (hiding bottles really feels awful, doesn't it... ) helps a lot, too.

If you can hold on to the hope that the shame passes, and that things WILL get better if you do things differently, then you can get through this and past the hardest part...

Best wishes

[Bandit]

Ashamed and in need of support

Hi lil michelle,
:welcome:
I think a lot of us can relate to your post.
I used to hide bottles of wine too - shameful yes - but worse was how excited I got when I came across one I had forgotten about and there was still some in it!!
Wine too became a daily habit for me to cope with everything - work, kids, bills, house etc.
You have come to a good place here so keep reading and posting. The fact that you have logged on is a very good start.
:h
Bandit

[Sunbeam]

Ashamed and in need of support

Hiding the bottles from my husband was one of the things I hated most about drinking. It is the only thing I ever lied to him about. Once you start being dishonest, where does it stop? So we need to stop. You can do this.

[My New Beginning]

Ashamed and in need of support

Hi
Oh, how I remember filling up an empty bottle of chardonnay with water while I have another real one going. Awful feeling!! I can so relate to what you are going through although my kids are grown and married now. You've come to a great place for alot of support. Keep coming back. We are all in this boat together. Welcome aboard!!:l

[LVT25]

Ashamed and in need of support

:welcome:

My Way Out is a great program. You can download or buy the book at the healthstore here. It is full of inspiration and sound advice! Start by reading it, and keep coming here for support!

[tlrgs]

Ashamed and in need of support

:hello2::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv:

[mwo2]

Ashamed and in need of support

lil Michelle - Glad you are here, this is a great place for support. As said before start with the book, I am alos doing the supps and cds as well as reading all these great words from the people here. Never thought I could do it, so far day 25..

Please let us know how you are doing.
As you read the book the biggest thing recommended is 30 days alcohol free. That is what I am doing. It does get easier

[Seacailin]

Ashamed and in need of support

Hello and Welcome

I used to hide bottles from my kids. They are in their 20's and live with me. Who the Hell did I think I was fooling? Geez, how did Mom get intoxicated with no AL in the house? It amazes me how we think we are fooling people, when we really are not. They just don't know how to approach the subject. I remember when I got sober before, people would tell me that they knew what was going on. I am glad u are here. Everyone here is Great.

[vera-b]

Ashamed and in need of support

Welcome lilMichelle,

I don't know of a drunk who's never hid. The not-so-hilarious thing is we think we invented the maneuvers. Who hasn't put a little water in the vodka bottle so that it doesn't look like you drank too much? And who didn't leave the patio/pool party to use the restroom, helping yourself to an extra drink in the kitchen both coming and going? I even used to put my hidden bottles in old socks so that they wouldn't clink against the AC vent when I retrieved them. What a waste! Get with the MWO program, join us and start living an authentic life!

V.

[Mickey16]

Ashamed and in need of support

lil.michelle ... I'm new to this too and haven't taken the brave step that you have of telling your partner. Until I posted my story I had no idea there were so many in my situation ... I thought I was the only one who hid bottles ... I have to sneak to the house from work during the day to remove all the empties that accumulate so quickly ... and like bandit said, I get very excited to find one I'd forgotten about, because I was losing track ... and like others, I'd add water to a bottle so it wouldn't look like I'd had most of the bottle. Its early days for me on this site but I have had an overwhelming, non-judgmental response from so many. Its just blown me away. Congratulations on taking the step to tell your partner. I haven't been able to do that yet. Love and best wishes. Mickey16 (ps - I live in New Zealand, where with being so isolated, drinking and particularly binge-drinking is a BIG problem in this country!)

[DeeBee]

Ashamed and in need of support

Hi Lil.michelle,

I remember the one time I had run out of wine so I started drinking my hubbys cane, and kept topping it up with water. By the time he came home I was so plasted and had topped up the bottle so much the bottle was full of water. When he questioned me of course I then told him he had lost the plot of course it was full of cane!!

I think you've it's all been said already so just wanted to wish you a warm welcome and I'm looking forward to reading more posts from you.

Hope you are doing okay?