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    #1

    Beginner's Question

    Hey! I'm new here....just found this site tonight. I've been reading threads for the last 30 minutes or so and finding that my story is the same as many others...drinking more than I should. Not sure how difficult it will be for me to stop or cut down...which brings me to my question:

    I am not sure what my goal here should be...to cut down on my drinking or to stop completely (assuming that is possible). I would like to think that I could just cut down, but I often find that once I get started, even if my thinking is "just one glass of wine with dinner", the reality is that I don't stop there.

    I guess I am just looking for some advice to get me started.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Beginner's Question

    hello and welcome
    You should download the book first and follow the program. It is great. Lots of people adapt the programme to their own particular drinking problems/patterns but generally the idea is that you would try and go for 30 day alcohol free (and then take stock and decide whether you will stay AF or moderate). After reading the book, getting the supplements and the anti-craving stuff (kudzu & L-glut) and maybe medication (if you so chose) you will be on "your way out". I wish you luck and you will meet lots of cool, crazy funny and nice people here.
    BH

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      #3
      Beginner's Question

      Thanks, BH! I like the idea of seeing what the first 30 days does. I'll keep you posted.

      Comment

        #4
        Beginner's Question

        Welcome Wannastop,
        You've already been given great advice, just wanted to say HI!!
        "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

        Comment

          #5
          Beginner's Question

          Thanks for making me feel welcome, DeeBee!

          Comment

            #6
            Beginner's Question

            Hi Wannastop,

            Just wanted to say hi too.:welcome:

            The 30 days AF idea is really the best place to start. Unfortunately I have yet to manage it but I have cut down an awful lot and have had many AF days. Once I get August and hols etc. out of the way I will try for the 30 days again. Not sure if you have read the book or read many of the posts here but there has been a lot of discussion lately about the difference beween 'moderating' and 'cutting down' - the programme is about moderating or quitting - cutting down is not the same. To me, moderation is where AL just does not have the same hold on you, you can take a drink or leave it, like butter - nice but not essential!

            I too have tried to 'cut down' and go for days now without a drink but when I do drink I generally still drink to excess. So my ultimate goal is moderation - to be free of the control that AL has on me at present and have a drink occasionally as a treat, not because I 'need' one.
            Wishing you the best
            :h
            Bandit
            There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

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              #7
              Beginner's Question

              Something else to know is that moderation is harder than quitting. Not that quitting is easy, but moderation for many is like quitting over and over and over again. Do that 30 days AF, keep reading and posting, read the book to see how it all fits together.

              Welcome, it is a great group.
              My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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                #8
                Beginner's Question

                Welcome Wannastop! :welcome:
                Great comment Sunbeam...
                Yesterday was day 30 for me and that number has me thinking "now what?". My brain is finally thinking differently. When it is the witching hour, I now think, wow, I still have 5 hours to get stuff done. I'm no longer waiting for it to approach so I have an excuse to drink. I'm still vulnerable, of course, but keep asking myself, do I really want to go through all that again? Maybe somewhere down the road, when alcohol is "like butter" as the book references, I may casually sip, but right now I think the tendency to guzzle is still too fresh in my habits.
                Wishing you all a beautiful, healthy day!
                Love, River :h
                You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

                Comment

                  #9
                  Beginner's Question

                  Your name gives the hint...

                  "Wannastop" ---

                  I quit recently for about 3 weeks. Then went to dinner at a friend's who had wine. I was able to just have a couple.

                  Another few times (after the URGE struck me), I was able to buy "just" a couple wine coolers or similar... and stop at that.

                  THEN, went back to friend's house with a bottle of bourbon. The beginning of the end. I justified it because I "preferred the taste" to wine... Yeah, right.

                  Someone posted recently that if you want to moderate, think about it after 6 months AF. Probably good advice. But even after six months... let's face it, if we have this problem, one-two drinks may be fine for awhile... but eventually will not be "enough".

                  So today is my first "new" AF day! Ahhhh, such wisdom from someone starting over AGAIN.

                  When I look back at my life, I wonder how different it could have been had I never had that first drink. I know it would have been so much better than it is. I somehow have to just accept, move on and hope for a better future. Time is running out for me...

                  Good luck!! :l
                  Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Beginner's Question

                    This is a great thread. Thanks, everyone. I have gone the full cycle several times: drinking way too much, routinely; then quitting (once with AA, other times just out of motivation inspired by disgust and desire to have a good life) for months, or years; then thinking I could drink moderately, and doing OK sometimes, but many times NOT; then realizing I am back to daily (or almost daily) drinking way, way too much, to the point of feeling ashamed and out of control. Then, disgust again, and motivation to get the alcohol out of my life. My family history alone tells me I should not drink: both parents drank excessively throughout my childhood, and my father ended up a terrible alcoholic, and killed himself.

                    Best wishes, wannastop. I am new here too, and already finding it an excellent resource for my own struggle with alcohol. I started out by downloading and reading the book; I am doing most of the supplements, sitting meditation dailly (ordered the hypno tapes, too, waiting for them), doing some brisk walking most days, waiting on my order of topa, and spending a lot of time here, reading posts and writing a lot of posts, too. That feels like a good approach, to me.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Beginner's Question

                      Hey! Just wanted to say 'Hi!'

                      :welcome:
                      Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Beginner's Question

                        Hi wannastop, What boozehag said. and your name implies that you want to stop. After reading the book I say go AF 30 as suggested with the supps and cds and go from there.
                        For me personally, I am day 27 AF with book/supps/cd these folk here postin and a readinn.. my next step 60 day AF....
                        workout:chick:mwo2

                        It's my world to make now...cuz I found my way out.

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                          #13
                          Beginner's Question

                          pages

                          I think it was around 68 pages...

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Beginner's Question

                            Hi wanna

                            I went 10 days af after coming to this site. That is a biggie for me. I am determined to go 30 days this time. I feel that I can't moderate. I know in my heart and soul that I need to stop completely.

                            Just wanted to say hi also.

                            Hope to see you often
                            __________________________________________________ _


                            Love yourself enough to walk away from what no longer serves you.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Beginner's Question

                              All very fine comments! I echo Boozehag - must give the program a chance. Otherwise, it's just so damn hard. My goal is the same as RJ's and others here - I'm sick and tired of the hold al has on me. Tired of thinking about it, falling asleep on everyone, hangovers, cloudy heads, shortened days, terrible aging, you name it. Do feel my life is changing as I use the MWO program. Sobriety is a truly beautiful thing, and as our friend Evielou says (she's on vacation now) let's KICK AL'S BUTT!!!

                              V.

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