Hi Karl,
Was wondering where you've been. I know this may sound a bit harsh, and believe me, NONE of us can claim any place in the gallery of saints, but it sounds like you're on the self pity train and booze is the engine. That combination will get you to a little town called Nowhere. Of course you're mourning the loss of the girl you thought was the love of your life. And when we're alone, we think there's no good reason to be at out best - why not be a slob? why not eat like (sorry Bessie) a pig? why not drink ourselves to oblivion? I think you probably know the reason - we all do, or we wouldn't be here. Because the creator of the universe didn't breathe life into us just to throw it all away like yesterday's trash. You have a unique purpose in this lifetime, but you won't get close to discovering what it is until you start valuing the created life that you are.
There are so many of us out there who do battle on a daily basis with the things that could bring us crashing down. We take inspiration from others who have made it. Start looking at your life through brighter eyes - see that there is a damn good reason to carry on the good fight. Find inspiration in others, but never lose sight of the fact that untimately all change is up to you. I think we all have it within ourselves to succeed, we just have to start believing it.
V.
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