Joined Yesterday

[kriger]

I am desperately trying to stop drinking but I wake up each day in withdrawals and almost everyday start my day with a couple of beers, then some at lunch and then after work. It is a vicious cycle. I read a bunch of posts yesterday and was determined to lay off the morning alcohol and try to go 24 hours without-let's see how that goes. I would like to start Topamax but I take some other meds and I'm worried about mixing. This seems like a great place to talk and I'm looking forward to getting to know some people who can identify with me and our mutual problems. The other obstacle I face iss that my husband is worse than me. How do I do this when he will continue to drink? Kriger:new:

[WildAtHeart]

Joined Yesterday

Kriger ... if you are taking other meds I would definitely speak to your doctor about taking topa. This is a great place for support and resources. Welcome!

[HealerHealing]

Joined Yesterday

Having someone around drinking must make it even harder. I suggest trying to get out and move...be away while he does his heaviest drinking, if that is possible. Keep trying, keeep telling yourself no

[kriger]

Joined Yesterday

The worst time is after work in the evenings- we both sit on our respective couches and drink until we're drunk enough to go to sleep. The next day comes and we do it all over again. We are spending way too much money on beer; our garbage men probably hate us because they have to empty our huge trash can full of beer bottles (it sounds horrible if your at the house when they empty the trash-all those bottles breaking a crashing together!). I should try to find something else to do in the evenings for a while; exercise would be a positive step in the right direction. Thanks for your help! I am going to really enjoy this discussion board. kriger :thanks:

[Guest]

Joined Yesterday

Hi Kriger, welcome to the board... you will really enjoy it here, there are lots of fabulous people on it.

Trying to quit while your other half drinks is not easy; and when they drink more than you...it's even harder I think. AL is very expensive if you start to add up what you spend on a daily basis, it may only be $20 or so a trip, but times that by the amount of trips you make a month and you could have bought yourself a new piece of furniture. And you're right, the sound the bottle make crashing into the bin, is not a good one. Kind of hits it home with the loud echoing noise how much you really have consumed.

When ever you find is your worst time, try to come on here and read and join in on the threads..or fill it with something you used to enjoy doing, but have replaced it over time with drinking.

All the best to you,
xoxox

[kriger]

Joined Yesterday

Thanks Gia. It's 1:30p here and I haven't had a drink! That is amazing in and of itself. I think I might get back into reading part of this evening and take a long walk. I just need to get between 5pm and 9pm- I can easily go to bed at 9. If I get through this first 24 hours without having a beer I will feel SO much confidence. I haven't ordered the book so I am going to do that now and maybe read that tonight. Thanks again for your support. Kriger

[tlrgs]

Joined Yesterday

:hello2::colorwelcome::wave::groupluv:
good job .. you can do this we are here for you

[KBCE]

Joined Yesterday

Kriger - welcome! You should be proud of yourself first for taking the step of coming here and second not having a drink all that time! Baby steps my friend! It is hard when your significant other keeps drinking. Lead by example and maybe he will follow along. First, work on you though. you can do this...it is harder than hell - I am not AF but have really cut down and even that is hard. This place is wonderful and the people are incredibly supportive! Good luck to you and remember we are here for you!

[sothankful]

Joined Yesterday

Hi Kriger, As someone said Lead by example. I was the heavier drinker in this relationship anyway my husband said to me one day out of the blue I am going to stop drinking. I was like WHAT you are my drinking buddy. well that's what i was thinking. So he stopped and I continued. I thought he would start back up again and have a drink with me. Well, he didn't and oh by the way he never said anything to me about my drinking. He would go to bars with me and he would have a soft drinks. I sorta couldn't believe it. I know that must have been so hard for him. So I would get drunk in front of him. Then I started to feel really stupid and he's not saying anything to me about getting drunk. So he wasn't pressuring me at all. the more he didn't pressure me and he just lead by example I wanted what he had and that sobriety. I have to say I am new at this, but it worked on me and I am a party animal LOL.. hopefully not anymore but you get the picture. take care you are gonna make it..

[Sheepish]

Joined Yesterday

Hi Kriger
No advice from me- just a welcome. This is a great place to find some helpful words, info and comfort.
Take care
-Sheep

[vlad]

Joined Yesterday

Hi Kriger, first of all welcome to the site. Similar to sothankful's post, my hubby and I met as heavy drinkers - it was my hubby who one day said that he wanted to cut down - I was reluctant at first but compromised saying I'd cut out the vodka. (Unfortunately, over the years I managed to sneak the vodka back in again, but that's another story). Anyway, you never know - if you tell him you would like to cut down or stop completely, he may support you and do it too, but then again - you know him better than me! :H

[AstraiaJ.]

Joined Yesterday

Hi Kriger

Hi Kriger,

Good job!!! Keep visiting here because you will not be alone.

Your description of the bottle crashing sure hit home. Here where I live there are recycling trucks, and you put the glass in a different bin from everything else. I put as few wine bottles in as possible (saving the rest in the garage for the following week, which meant that they would just accumulate). When the truck came, I would cover my ears in order not to hear all the glass crashing. Finally one Saturday I loaded up the rest of the bottles in the car to take to the recycling center so they wouldn't keep accumulating in the garage. When I put all the bottles in the bin, a kid came up behind me with his mom and he said, "Wow, that lady must get drunk a lot!" The mother was mortified and told her son to be quiet; I just laughed it off but inside I was devastated because I knew he was right, even if he was rude. That was a week before I joined this group, and the people here have been SO helpful

I have been going through the same thing with my husband, and I agree with the others that leading by example has been helpful -- not at first, but eventually it has been working.

When I first joined this site I learned that others also have a lot of challenges 5-9, and just knowing that has helped me on so many nights when I have been on the way home from work. I have thought to myself, OK, if these other people are trying to do it, I'm going to try too, just one more night. One more night. And slowly, those nights have turned into lots of nights. It's just now starting to get easier.

[AstraiaJ.]

Joined Yesterday

Wow, Wally22 you were a lot more creative with the wine bottle problem than I was! Thanks for that, because in reading your message I realized I was able to look back on that whole situation and smile about it for the first time, and that's really something. It reminds me that I am making some progress, even though it doesn't always feel like it.

[vlad]

Joined Yesterday

I was disposing of my empties once at a recycling centre and a guy walked past me and said, 'Wow, someone had a good night!' I remember just glaring at him - especially as I'd finished with the AL empties and was actually disposing of food jars as he walked past! I thought, 'Yes - I had a good night drinking bottles of Chicken Korma sauce!!!'

[vera-b]

Joined Yesterday

So much recycling, so little time!! We have what's called single stream reclycling, so all glass, plastic, paper, etc. goes in one giant bin. Helps save the fragile ego. However, have any of you bought so much at the store that the person behind you says "I'm coming to THAT party!" Talk about feeling sheepish - and secretly quite ashamed.

But that was then and this is now. Welcome Kriger. Spend some time reading the posts and do as much of the program as you possibly can. I think RJ approached her sobriety by pulling out all the stops, and we have to as well. She didn't rely on a magic pill nor did she expect her human willpower would suddenly kick into high gear. Be sure to get and read the book. Come here and jump in on the many threads. We're family, and there isn't a dirty little secret we haven't heard before!

V.