It was interesting last night. I didn't start drinking until 8:00. My usual routine was to wait until 5:30 or 5:00 on a bad night. I remember all of my conversations and when my 3 yr old woke with a fever I felt very able to deal with the situation, that felt good. I still drank more than most would I suppose, but I felt in control and aware, but I was still enjoying the buzz. This morning I awoke feeling healthy, but a bit tired from having a 3yr old up late and then in my bed
I'm not sure what label to affix to myself, and I guess maybe I just shouldn't worry about being labeled. I really don't think that I am an alcoholic, but then I wonder if I am lying to myself. When I asked my partner she said that she didn't see me as such but that she thinks I drink to much, and too often. I grew up with a grandpa who drank from sunrise to sunset....I know I am certainly not there, but I never want to be. So the plan is to not drink again tonight. I'm feeling pretty positive about that, I have a plan of what I am going to do with myself, that makes it easier. I definately can't just sit in front of the TV. I'm glad I could have a few drinks last night and feel normal. I haven't thought about drinking tonight much, and my emotions are more in check. We'll see how I feel at 5:00. I just have to keep answering the thoughts in my head with NO, and What Else Could You Do Right Now????
I'm not sure what label to affix to myself, and I guess maybe I just shouldn't worry about being labeled. I really don't think that I am an alcoholic, but then I wonder if I am lying to myself. When I asked my partner she said that she didn't see me as such but that she thinks I drink to much, and too often. I grew up with a grandpa who drank from sunrise to sunset....I know I am certainly not there, but I never want to be. So the plan is to not drink again tonight. I'm feeling pretty positive about that, I have a plan of what I am going to do with myself, that makes it easier. I definately can't just sit in front of the TV. I'm glad I could have a few drinks last night and feel normal. I haven't thought about drinking tonight much, and my emotions are more in check. We'll see how I feel at 5:00. I just have to keep answering the thoughts in my head with NO, and What Else Could You Do Right Now????
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