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    #1

    Off the wagon and disappointed

    Hi all,
    I am totally disappointed with myself for falling off the wagon, but I wanted to communicate with you all when I am buzzed to tell you that I still need so much help! I am trying to put together the program but my finances are getting in the way. I know now that I need Topomax but my Dr doesn't recognize it for alcohol cravings. I live in Utah where the general public doesn't drink. I am about to order online from London or Canada. Help! Does anyone ever post when they feel at their most vulnerable? I felt so good today and now I feel really crappy. To end this pitty party, I can say one thing- I did better this Friday than last Friday. I think I will end with that. Thanks for being my friends and I will wake up tomorrow to read any posts that arrive. I will be in a more positive mood tomorrow- we know tomorrow is our salvation-right? Kriger
    "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu
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    #2
    Off the wagon and disappointed

    Kriger...please try not to be, this is not an easy mountain to climb. There are many ups and downs, the emotions that ride along with you are more than enough to handle. I do post when I am vulnerable, and it truly does help. There are so many good people here, and no one can help you if you only post when you are at your best. It's like anything else in life, you take the good moments with the bad and this is no different. Tomorrow is another day. Try to get a good nights sleep and don't let things creep in. Everything will be good.

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      #3
      Off the wagon and disappointed

      Glad you posted when you were down. Thats what makes mwo so helpful. Maybe you could get some supps. that are not as much money as the top? Lglut or kudzu or good ones and easier to find.
      Most of all let yourself do this, don't give up! Read and post. You will find your way out.
      workout:chick:mwo2

      It's my world to make now...cuz I found my way out.

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        #4
        Off the wagon and disappointed

        kriger

        Hi Kriger:

        Don't be so hard on yourself, it takes some time....Today was my first day without a drink and I hope tomorrow will be the same, we can only take one day at the time and time is a healer...Take Care..Michou

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          #5
          Off the wagon and disappointed

          Thanks Gia, Michou and Mwo2,
          This is really a stuggle that I was not prepared for. My "head demon" is worse than I thought. I will talk to you all tomorrow when I am sober, hopefully. Thanks for being there- I plan to take this to the the limit and I won't give up! I love you all. kriger
          "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

          Comment

            #6
            Off the wagon and disappointed

            It is a struggle... try to drink as much water as you can..the more hydrated you are the better chance of not having a raging headache in the morning. It takes time but it will come, don't try to rush it or push yourself too much. Your body is adjusting to many things right now, as well as your mind.

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              #7
              Off the wagon and disappointed

              Kriger,

              We have all been where you are at tonight, trust me. I believe that the MWO program can work. Keep coming back to it, even if you hit a bump in the road. We will all be here to support you. And like Gia said, fuel up on lots and lots of water (not soda) and be prepared to look at tomorrow as another opportunity for an AF day. Good luck!

              Julie

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                #8
                Off the wagon and disappointed

                well you done it oce you can do it again .. dont give up and thank you for coming here and looking for help .. keep on keeping on and stay positive
                :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

                Comment

                  #9
                  Off the wagon and disappointed

                  Kriger, don't beat up on yourself or be disappointed because you drank. This is an extremely difficult thing to overcome and be proud that you did better this Friday than last. The important thing is to learn from this. You said your "head demon" is worse than you thought. Be prepared to fight the head demon the next time. Take a walk, ride a bike, clean out a drawer, come here and post and I think most important is self-talk. That you are worth this, that you want more out of life, etc. I haven't been totally successful yet but I will keep trying. I won't give up. Good luck to you. I'm wishing you the best.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Off the wagon and disappointed

                    Hi Kriger. It's so important to keep trying, keep learning, and keep coming back here. This really is a very challenging journey, but I believe WE CAN DO THIS!

                    Just out of curiosity, did your doctor suggest any other medications since he/she is not in favor of Topa for alcohol cravings? There are lots of other medications discussed regularly around here that sound like they are more "main stream" in terms of ability to get prescriptions from a doctor in the US. Have you checked out the section here on the forum for all the various meds? (that section is right under "need help ASAP" on the main forum menu)

                    Hope you jump right back on the wagon and don't give up.

                    DG
                    Day 73 Alcohol and Hangover Free
                    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                    One day at a time.

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                      #11
                      Off the wagon and disappointed

                      Kriger, you fell off but you KNOW you are going to get back on. That is a major positive step. You can and will do it. The reading and the posting will help you. I have found that eating regularly to keep blood sugar even (I seem to crave most when really I am hungry) taking some supps (l glut, kudzu and a good multi) really helps. Also these supps are not too expensive so I hope you can give them a try. Plus water water and more water!!
                      you can do it :h
                      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Off the wagon and disappointed

                        michou

                        kriger;373793 wrote: Thanks Gia, Michou and Mwo2,
                        This is really a stuggle that I was not prepared for. My "head demon" is worse than I thought. I will talk to you all tomorrow when I am sober, hopefully. Thanks for being there- I plan to take this to the the limit and I won't give up! I love you all. kriger

                        Hi Kriger:


                        Hope today will be a better day for you and the hangover was not too too bad this morning. Today will be my second without a drink, but the day as just begun...Last night I wanted to have a hot toddy so I could fall asleep but the thought lasted few minutes and counted the sheeps instead. I like to drink alone and specialy when I come back from work after a hard day it just relaxed me but as you know one drink is never enough...We have to keep on tryiing. Have a good day...Michou

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                          #13
                          Off the wagon and disappointed

                          Kriger
                          Never Give Up!! It is Never Too Late. Hmm....posting when vulnerable. I was a complete mess a month ago. I posted for two months while still drinking. Everyone here was fantastic; really motivated me to seek the help that I needed to stop drinking. Here I am now on Day 29 and feeling great. Amazing! I am financially strapped myself thanks to my drinking, but I was able to get L-Glutamine at Walmart really cheap. I used to spend $13.00 a day on beer, so I just looked at it as money that I would have spent on beer. I always managed to have AL and smokes, no matter how broke I am. You can do this and we are here for you.:l
                          "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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                            #14
                            Off the wagon and disappointed

                            KRIGER, IT HAPPENS......GET BACK ON IT AGAIN AND KEEP TRYING ! IAD.
                            ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                            those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                            Dr. Seuss

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                              #15
                              Off the wagon and disappointed

                              Today is a new day. Refocus and get back on the bike. You can do it!
                              "I've done it. I don't need to drink anymore. I'm free!"-Jason Vale

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