Did others feel this way?

[akgirl]

Hello,

I started the CDs last night and today is day one. And it feels crazy. After all I've been through, and the money spent, and how much I know I seriously need to quit. Part of me doesn't want to. I love going home and having a glass of wine and relaxing. The problem is it turns into a bottle of wine and stumbling to bed. How can I want to drink and want to quit at the same time? I guess I need to figure out what I'm going to replace drinking with. Something much healthier. I haven't went one day without some alcohol. I wonder if I can today. Crazy as it sounds, it's like giving up a part of yourself.

[akgirl]

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Yes, walking is a good idea. I happen to have a new puppy that would enjoy it as well. The only draw back is the winter. Akgirl stands for Alaskan girl. Mighty cold here about December. I have a 12 year old and a house to take care of, I keep busy...but it's usually with a glass of wine close by. Need to find another drink, maybe tea. Anyways, thanks for the support. This place is great.

[akgirl]

Did others feel this way?

Yeah, you're right. Not too cold yet. I just have to find my new routine.

Being the newbie, what is PM?

I really want today to be the one, I want a different life so bad.

[AstraiaJ.]

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Welcome akgirl, I'm down here in Oregon so not too far below! I can completely relate to the feeling of wanting to drink and wanting to quit at the same time. It feels like my head and heart are both saying "quit!" and my body is saying "drink!" And the evening wine was really really REALLY hard to give up. For me it was finding a way to get over the cravings and finding alternative activities (those more difficult to do with wine close by!) I found it most helpful to just not have the stuff in the house, if I could bring myself to not buy it on the way home ( I have been working hard on this since June, and now have been able to stretch longer and longer time periods between drinks. Day 12 AF now. It really does get easier. The first days are hard, but keep coming back here. It really helps.

[akgirl]

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Thank you all. I believe this place will be very helpful. It nice to be able to talk about my new journey. Which leads me to my question.

I am wondering if I want to tell anyone what I'm doing. My friends and family know I drink and sometimes too much but its not really ever discussed. And most would not know I have a problem. How did you all handle it. Part of me doesn't want to in case I fail, or when I might relapse. Still want to keep it secret and act like nothing is wrong.

[Alley]

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Hi AKGirl! :welcome:

You're in the right place! There are so many caring people here who have such good advice. Thinking of you in the Great North. Alley

[jessie]

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Hi all,
Addiction has two sides to it:- physical and psychological. The first can be dealt with using meds, but the second one is much more difficult. That little voice which tells you to have one, only one glass. That crutch you have to let go of. That nice feeling of reality being much better then it is.The obsessive, compulsive aspect of addiction is the real devil. Good luck to you all.
Jessie

[jessie]

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PS, Don't read "hopeless" in my post. It can be done and I am really having more AF days then before.
Love.

[michou]

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michou

It is 2am in the morning and I find myself again drinking a beer which few years ago I would never do this sort of thing...Life is so great and beautiful and I ask myself why am I doing this.....I should be thankful for what I have and all the blessing that I have recieved in these past few years.....Now that my husband can no longer drink because of his illness I am having problems to quit, altought he is getting better it's seem to me that I need to drink in order to feel numb....He used to drink a lot and I used to watch him but my kids always came first so I did not drink like him but now the kids have gone and done very well for themselves I am the one now who is having problems coping with AL....I guess the bottom line is if We really want to stop We can it is just a matter of the mind and yet the mind can be so weak......Love to all....Michou

[patricia]

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Hi,

It's definitely what I struggle with . . . . I can't believe how stupid I am at times . . . . it takes a day like today to make me realise that I just can't drink . . . . I don't think my brain is wired like a normal persons because they wouldn't keep hurting themselves like I do . . . . good luck to you Px

[savon19]

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I suggested this someplace else - but I found that not drinking... I still was drinking Something all the time (guess I just like process of drinking??). But I discovered Tropicana Lemonade (both Light & Reg) to be very good. Not too sweet, not too sour. Very refreshing & gives you something to do that is similar to when you drank - kind of soothing.

Put in a wine glass!

[Alley]

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Keep Trying!

Pat, Michou--I sure can't claim to be AF but I do know that your mind can also remind you of how good you feel when you don't drink and of all the reasons you don't want to, just as much as it can "tell" you to drink. Just keep coming back to that fact again and again and keep trying! Thinking of you, wishing strength and peace for ALL of us! Alley

[AAthlete]

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One thing that stuck out in your post was "I guess I need to figure out what I'm going to replace drinking with."

That's awesome that you want to get started, even though it can be scary to contemplate life without alcohol in it. I like the idea of logging onto chat or taking your dog for a walk. Why? Because it means that you are doing something to help yourself and/or others. To me a big part of my recovery was getting away from thinking about myself all the time (I need a drink, I feel terrible, I,I,I...) and helping others does that. Doesn't have to be anything big, but when you do it make note of it - it can be easy to ignore the little positive things and focus on the big negative ones.

Hang in there - it will work if you are truly willing to work at it.

[A Work in Progress]

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Well said, Athlete! That's how it works for me, too... Focusing on my discomfort and/or thoughts about wanting to drink just makes it worse... much, much better to re-focus on something else and DO something else (preferably helpful to others, but AT LEAST something not harmful)... and the more we do that, the easier it gets...

wip

[aylalarry]

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It feels like you are all in my head with my very same thoughts. My CD's arrived today...after I finished my bottle of wine. Just can't stop after the buzz. Have 2 more in the fridge just waiting. So...when do I start ? Now, after my supplements , after my topamax ??? When are we ready ???