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[akgirl]

Did others feel this way?

Hi Ayla,

The way I figure it ... now. Even if we don't have everything in place. Even if we don't stop 100%. I used to give myself target dates. Usually meaningful ones (Independence Day etc) Then if I relapsed I would give up all together. Not anymore, not since finding this. I can't do the tapes as much as I would like. I reluctant to start the meds. But I am doing as much as possible. Little by little I believe we can reach our goal. Stay here and stay with us, this place is awesome. You can do it!!!

[aylalarry]

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You are so sweet to respond. All the way from Alaska. I am in Michigan. Believe it or not it is hot here. Or perhaps it is just me. My H left in disgust earlier as I was sleepy. He knows of my problem and my " solution ". Do you drink to deal with anything or just to feel better ?

[Thankful]

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akgirl ~ Welcome!

You sound rearing to go! Have you gotten the book yet? If not, I highly suggest it. You can download it and read it immediately on your PC or you can order a hard copy. It explains the whole plan and how RJ discovered this recovery program. It's only about 88 pages, so it's a quit read and easy to reference back to.

As far as letting others know of your plans, I say you should. Only because it does make one more accountable. Tell trusted family and friends. Ones who will be supportive. I feel if someone doesn't tell at least one person, they are setting themselves up to say "it's ok I slipped, cause no one knows". And you want to arm yourself with as many tools as possible for success. If you want to tell people about the site, then ok. But I recommend that you do not tell them your sign-on. This should be a place where you can vent about all that's going on with you and AL. And if there is a time you need to vent about a family member etc, you don't want them to be able to read your "anonymous" posts. These are just my opinions.

I wish you the best of luck. We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[vera-b]

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Hi again Alaska,

Just wanted to put my 2 cents in - about having to leave our "honey" al. Al is like a trojan horse. Pretends to be our friend - there when no one else is - or even a part of us (the "fun" part), but that's just a ruse. The demon hides behind the disguise and then bursts out in all its horror once our guard is down. That's usually somewhere around half a glass for most of us. With friends like that . . .

I have found logging onto this site during "cocktail" hour with the subliminal cd plugged in and a cold tonic and lime has become my new daily reward/routine. I look forward to it with great anticipation. In fact, yesterday because of a special company dinner for my husband I wasn't able to do it. I was much more anxious about the al than I usually am. Had to really work at control which is not as hard when I get my "MWO time." We do whatever works! I love to read of some of the drink concoctions we come up with. Last week someone said puttling lemon in your water acts to counter cravings! You're on an upward path, keep at it. We're all pulling for you. Kick that fake friend to the proverbial curb!

And ayla, sorry to hear about hubby. It is so hard on the ones we love when all they see is us sprawled and passed out. I used to make so many excuses (if you'd cleaned house all day, you'd be tired too . . . blah, blah, blah) but they were just that. Face yourself and your drinking motivations, but don't let that exercise keep you from getting to work. That is, go ahead and start your path to sobriety while you explore yourself. It's so much better than hangovers.

V.

[mwo2]

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aylalarry;376939 wrote: It feels like you are all in my head with my very same thoughts. My CD's arrived today...after I finished my bottle of wine. Just can't stop after the buzz. Have 2 more in the fridge just waiting. So...when do I start ? Now, after my supplements , after my topamax ??? When are we ready ???

Hello ayla - It is not a question of "when are we ready" the question for yourself is "are you ready?" The answers needs to be a, hopefully is a resounding "YES!" The questions "When do I start?" If you answered your first question with a YES, then start now. Don't wait for all the "stuff" Start with what you have...( Hope you got the book also because it is the foundation for the whole program.) The book will be your guide. The threads are the support.. but you really have to be supporting yourself in this...first and foremost.

For me I have been alcohol free in the past, more times not....when I was af before I did it because I was told do it or else, well the or esle happened anyway so eventually came back to al.. This time I am AF because I gave myself a resounding YES...the mwo program gave me the tools, the foundation, the threads give me support...do I feel positive that I am finding my own way out....absolutely a resounding YES...but there lies the "key" it is "my way out" because I followed the program and because I told myself YES!

[akgirl]

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Hi Ayla,
I don't think I drink to deal with anything. Just seems like its always been a part of my life. Followed by example I guess.
I'm glad to be here now, and hope its my ticket out.

Thanks to all

[kriger]

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Ak, Giving up AL IS giving up part of yourself but it is also "releasing" yourself to a better life. There is a grieving process to giving up AL that needs to be dealt with to move through this process. I am going through that right now. I'm only on day 3 AF but I am amazed at how wonderful I feel- I feel hope for the first time in a few years! Kriger

[akgirl]

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Thanks Kriger
I hadn't really thought of it that way.

[ARR71]

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hang in akgirl

HI akgirl,

I'm really new to this but I definately relate to what you say about you're way of life. It is so hard to change what you've been doing for years (20+ in my case). I am optimistic though! I am still waiting on my supplements and CDs to arrive and I have never been more anxious for a package in the mail!!! Since I'm new, all I can say is... follow the program- be committed to it. I have faith that it will work!! I'm going to put as much effort into this program as I have put into making time for my next drink!!!

Wishing us both luck!

[akgirl]

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Hi ARR,

Yes, wishing us both luck. You will really like the CD's they are awesome. I still haven't made it AF yet but I am determined.

Stay strong

[CS04]

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It is like giving up part of yourself. I am in the same boat, AKGirl. I am constantly reminded of the bumper sticker with Einstein that says "you cannot simultaneously prepare for war and prepare for peace." So how can I stop drinking while drinking?? This is absolutely insane. I keep trying, though.

I did find that it was easier for me to be AF if I told hubby what I was doing. If you do it in secret, it is too easy to lie to yourself. Like being on a diet but not telling anyone, so then no one can pick on you for eating cheeseburgers and ice cream.

[akgirl]

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Hi CS04,

Yeah, it's been a strange internal battle. I was wondering about telling anyone. Told my roomate but kind of wish I hadn't. Yes it makes you more accountable, but know it's like he will be watching and judging if I slip. Mixed emotions on that subject.
Are you AF? If so how long?