I feel out of control

[HealerHealing]

So I was doing really well for over a week, but the last 2 nights I have efinately over done it. I'm unsure why....I like others here only drink in the evening and can always function the next day, but it just doesnt seem healthy to drink every day. Sometimes I wonder if I really want to quit, or if I just feel i should. Im unsure how to want it more. i feel confused, and annoyed that i am even having this problem.

[A Work in Progress]

I feel out of control

Interesting question... "how to WANT IT MORE..." This really is a question about goal-setting, values, and the question of how to have the kind of life that we want. We are ALL conflicted about how to live, which goals to pursue (a couple of drinks, a nice buzz... OR a life free of alcohol, which gives me mental and spiritual clarity and physical health... )... If the "couple of drinks" very often leads to being drunk, which destroys your mind/body.... then the two agendas are in conflict. The key is to learn to keep your values and goals in the FRONT of your consciousness as much as possible... not in the back of your mind, where they are useless. You can devise all kinds of reminders for that... meditation (which in part is attentional training) is very, very helpful, too. As is surrounding yourself as much as possible with people who are working hard to live the kind of life, with the kind of values, that you would like to have.

Best wishes,

wip

[patricia]

I feel out of control

Hi HealerHealing

This is exactly how I have felt since ending my 30 days in July. Confused and guilty. I too only drink in the evenings and I have halved the amount I drink since July bringing me back into acceptable figures/units but the other night I had a very large port and brandy (which has been in the house for months and months and months and normally I would never dream of touching) and then went on to drink most of a bottle of wine. At the time I felt invincible but I felt dreadful the next day (I don't usually feel too bad but do very often feel guilty and anxious). I don't know why I did it but it reinforced my need to once again go AF for a while. WIP speaks a lot of sense. Anyhow, although we've got the struggle I sometimes think that we on this site are among the lucky ones because some people have just given up and their future looks lousy - at least we are still fighting and trying to conquer or control our ways.

Best wishes,

Px

[kriger]

I feel out of control

Healer,
I am so sorry you are feeling badly. You and your lemon water helped me make it, finally, through my first 24 hours without AL. I am now on day 3 and reaching for that lemon water every chance I get. Up until I tried the lemon water I would just cave every night. The lemon water gave me a new drink of choice. WIP speakes the truth as does patricia. We are all in this struggle but we have help now so even when we slip we are still doing better than those people out there who have not found this site and its source of strength to help us up on that horse again to try again. I hope you are feeling better real soon. Go have some lemon water. Kriger

[Seacailin]

I feel out of control

I am so sorry that u are struggling. No one can help you to "want it more". That is an inside job. I simply had to decide that drinking was making my life unmanageable. I could not take being sick and tired anymore. The decision is all yours. We are here to help. The lemon water is very helpful. Also coming here, reading, posting, and sometimes going to Live Chat. I don't know if u use prayer at all, but if I am facing a difficult decision, or need some guidance, I ask for God's help. I wish u well. Please let us know how u r doing.:l