I came here and got so much support but after about 2 days, i contiued to drink. I ordered the book and i've now ordered all the supplements and i'm sitting here waiting for them to come.
I HATE drinking but i'm like but the last week or so my attitude has become like.... so bloody what... My drinking has got so much worse. It used to be 1 bottle MAX a night now it's 1 1/2. It's driving me crazy. I don't want to drink the stuff, i don't need it and i don't always crave it. Is it cause i'm bored ?!?!?!?!?! AHHHHHH. I pulling my hair out. I just don't know why i've become like this. Is it because i'm scared of failing and letting people down, maybe i'm scared of change, i don't know! What have i become ='(
I've ordered some antabuse. I'm hoping that will be with me any day. I've got lemons and limes and i'll drink them with water if when i get cravings.
This is it for me. NO messing around, no doing it half hearted. That was the last bottle of wine. I've given my husband all my money and cards and i have NOTHING so here i go for my 30 days AF. I'm so excited. I want to change so much.
I've even given myself a nickname... sobermomma, which i've used sooo much on my odd AF days and my husband calls me sobm *lol*
Anyway, sorry for the rant! It's like 2.50am and i needed to talk to anyone, get it of my chest instead of laying in bed thinking it.
Thanx for reading and WISH ME LUCK! :upset: :upset: :upset: :upset: :upset:
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