Hello everyone
I am new here and wanted to share with you my experiences of alcohol and what it does to oneself and to your family.
I very sadly lost my sister to alcohol 2 years ago. She was always one to love a party and had a fantastic sense of humour. She was 13yrs older than me, and I can always remember her loving a drink. We had a silly disagreement about 5 years ago, made up, but never got as close again, as we used to be. I heard rumours from her son that she had started to drink in the morning, and that she would hide her bottles under the sink, under the bed, at the back of the wardrobe, and it was obvious that she was seriously in denial. About 9 months before she died she was admitted to hospital, with internal bleeding. She had been in and out for the best part of 2 years, with alcohol related problems. I wasn't supposed to know, she didn't want any visitors, (she was always immensely proud, and would not have liked for me to have been told how bad things had got). I thought "sod that", I'm going to visit, and tell her I know. So off I went to the hospital. I stood in the doorway, and she didn't know I was there. She was talking to a nun, who visited patients in the hospital. I didn't know how to approach her, didn't want to add to her anxiety levels, so I just stood and watched. She looked all bloated, swollen stomach, swollen ankles, and looked awful. I felt pain go through my heart. She looked over to the door, and burst into tears, and said to the nun, "that's my sister" and held out her arms to me. I walked over and we had a lovely warm hug. She cried, but I couldn't. Although I was hurting like mad and very concerned, I wanted to stay strong. I told her that I knew she had a drink problem, she didn't deny it, but didn't admit it. I asked her to stop drinking, and she said, "I'll only drink on special occasions". I knew that she didn't want to give up, but I know now that the damage had been done, and the Drs had warned her to quit entirely, to stop any further damage. She had been told this time and time again, but it was too late. The drink had her in a hand held vice right around her throat, and she couldn't escape. We had a lovely chat talking about our mum who we had lost only 18 months previously, and I know that this had paid a great part to her escalation in drinking. They hadn't always got on, and when mum died, they hadn't really made up. My sister was a wonderfully warm generous person, but had a very complex personality, and found it hard to let things go. She always used drink as a way of "winding" down.
She sadly died the following June from a bleed to her brain. I am still grieving her, my mum, my aunt and uncle, and now only 2 weeks ago my brother in law died from cirrhosis, although the autopsy is inconclusive and we have to wait a month for confirmation of cause of death.
I have been drinking of a night time 3-4 xs a week and have noticed that I am becoming more and more reliant on the stuff, (red wine). My health is suffering because of all the losses I have had to my family (5) in 4 yrs. The drink causes tachycardia, and I have gained weight . I am tying to gain control of my life, but it is hard, I stumbled upon this forum, and thought I would join for support and share my experiences. I don't want to go down the same road as my sister so I hope I can find support on here.
Take care everyone. Life is too precious to waste. Please help me be strong and be strong for yourselves and your families.
Regards
I am new here and wanted to share with you my experiences of alcohol and what it does to oneself and to your family.
I very sadly lost my sister to alcohol 2 years ago. She was always one to love a party and had a fantastic sense of humour. She was 13yrs older than me, and I can always remember her loving a drink. We had a silly disagreement about 5 years ago, made up, but never got as close again, as we used to be. I heard rumours from her son that she had started to drink in the morning, and that she would hide her bottles under the sink, under the bed, at the back of the wardrobe, and it was obvious that she was seriously in denial. About 9 months before she died she was admitted to hospital, with internal bleeding. She had been in and out for the best part of 2 years, with alcohol related problems. I wasn't supposed to know, she didn't want any visitors, (she was always immensely proud, and would not have liked for me to have been told how bad things had got). I thought "sod that", I'm going to visit, and tell her I know. So off I went to the hospital. I stood in the doorway, and she didn't know I was there. She was talking to a nun, who visited patients in the hospital. I didn't know how to approach her, didn't want to add to her anxiety levels, so I just stood and watched. She looked all bloated, swollen stomach, swollen ankles, and looked awful. I felt pain go through my heart. She looked over to the door, and burst into tears, and said to the nun, "that's my sister" and held out her arms to me. I walked over and we had a lovely warm hug. She cried, but I couldn't. Although I was hurting like mad and very concerned, I wanted to stay strong. I told her that I knew she had a drink problem, she didn't deny it, but didn't admit it. I asked her to stop drinking, and she said, "I'll only drink on special occasions". I knew that she didn't want to give up, but I know now that the damage had been done, and the Drs had warned her to quit entirely, to stop any further damage. She had been told this time and time again, but it was too late. The drink had her in a hand held vice right around her throat, and she couldn't escape. We had a lovely chat talking about our mum who we had lost only 18 months previously, and I know that this had paid a great part to her escalation in drinking. They hadn't always got on, and when mum died, they hadn't really made up. My sister was a wonderfully warm generous person, but had a very complex personality, and found it hard to let things go. She always used drink as a way of "winding" down.
She sadly died the following June from a bleed to her brain. I am still grieving her, my mum, my aunt and uncle, and now only 2 weeks ago my brother in law died from cirrhosis, although the autopsy is inconclusive and we have to wait a month for confirmation of cause of death.
I have been drinking of a night time 3-4 xs a week and have noticed that I am becoming more and more reliant on the stuff, (red wine). My health is suffering because of all the losses I have had to my family (5) in 4 yrs. The drink causes tachycardia, and I have gained weight . I am tying to gain control of my life, but it is hard, I stumbled upon this forum, and thought I would join for support and share my experiences. I don't want to go down the same road as my sister so I hope I can find support on here.
Take care everyone. Life is too precious to waste. Please help me be strong and be strong for yourselves and your families.
Regards
I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
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