I have been lurking for quite some time and trying to gather my strength to go AF. I did MWO a couple of years ago and managed to string almost 3 months together AF! I felt great, but lost the battle when a friend of mine, a former drinking buddy and very good friend, came to visit. So two years later I am back where I was, and worse!
I'm 51 years old with two kids. One of them has juvenile diabetes and this is just so stressful. I have to get up in the night to test her blood sugar, and then I feel so anxious and wired I drink some wine to go back to sleep. Now I'll even take a few swigs at 6 AM, just to see if I can snag another couple of hours of sleep! Talk about self medicating.
I can see how AL is robbing me of my energy, self esteem, work ethic, relationships-everything many of you has mentioned. I really need to get back to a healthier lifestyle, and most importantly, get back my dignity. Hiding wine bottles and drinking in the morning, just to cope with the day, does not make me feel too great!
I admire all of you who are trying, succeeding, getting back on the wagon. I don't seem to have the energy to make myself stop, plus I am afraid of not sleeping, and of the withdrawal symptoms. I have campral, which worked well before, and melatonin, which does seem to help me sleep. I ahve lots of books to read on AL abuse, including MWO. All the tools, none of the energy! Or is it courage?
I would love your help, any words of encouragement. Next week my family and I go on vacation, typically a big drinking time for me, and I really don't want to do that. It's too hard to surreptiously chase down wine, surreptitiously drink it, and try to make sure my very saavy 13 year old doesn't catch on! They educate kids so well in schools these days, about the dangers of smoking and drinking=he must think I'm an idiot! AofM
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