i have my up's and downs. i did my time 120 days AF just to prove a point to everyone i knew and myself that i didnt have a drinking problem. just to prove to them and myself i could do it if i put my mind to it. mum mum was so happy. now 3 major slip up's.. and involved a lot of my family and friends, which now have choosen to let me be and have little to no contact with me..( kinda funny as ive helped them all out through there hard times now its my turn and they turn there back)
i really dont know if i want to stop drinking completely. well id like to drink and not have these blackouts where im just down right mean, and people have told me im scary. im normally a very plasid person(worse thing is i cant remember anything).
everything just seems to be falling by my side. girlfriend of 2.5 years left. friends and family falling. and well now work. i dont have anything left except myself..
i now choose to bottle up everything inside, as not to worry anyone else about my problems. Ive helped enough in my life time, now i would like the help. but it just seems like no one cares.
i dont want to stop drinking id like to mod. but sometimes it just doesnt work.. most times.
not sure what to do anymore. or where to turn.. seems like im in a rut, and theres no way of getting out of it..
i DRINK TO BE ME, I DRINK TO BE FREE.
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