HI all.
Yesterday i FINALLY got my supplements. As i got it in the evening i decided i'd wait to the morning so i could take a full days supply instead of starting at dinner. Good idea i thought. I also got another idea.... As this is my last day i'm going to have a last drink.... NOT A GOOD IDEA
Not often but sometimes when i drink i have like a mental/nervous breakdown. This was the worst i ever had. I fell out of bed 4 times, i fell over and smashed my head on my tiled floor and i almost fell down the stairs. It was my husband grabbing my legs that stopped me. I would have killed me. Sad thing is there?s a part of me that wishes i did. It would all be over with. My husband had to call my mother to help him look after me. What a nightmare.
I screwed up. I made a terrible mistake again. Now i'm not aloud to be alone even for a minute. When my husband is out he's going to drop me off at my mums so i'm not alone. I'm not even allowed to be upstairs on my own. I've brought this on myself. I accept and do not fight that my life is being taken away by my family who love me as drink was taking my life away anyway.
I've started taking my supplements and i feel hopeful. I haven't craved any but that could just be that last night is still fresh in my mind.
My parents are sending me to be hypnotized and i've used for different things and it's worked well.
The scary thing is that all the ladies on my dads side of the family are alcoholics. Maybe it runs in the genes. I have a 9 month old baby girl, i need to protect her and make sure she'll not go down the path i have.
I'd just like to say a huge thank you to all the family members who watch there loves go through this curse, who stay and help support us and take us through our faults. If it wasn't for people like them,we would have no chance in this cruel world.
So this is my day one AF!
Yesterday i FINALLY got my supplements. As i got it in the evening i decided i'd wait to the morning so i could take a full days supply instead of starting at dinner. Good idea i thought. I also got another idea.... As this is my last day i'm going to have a last drink.... NOT A GOOD IDEA
Not often but sometimes when i drink i have like a mental/nervous breakdown. This was the worst i ever had. I fell out of bed 4 times, i fell over and smashed my head on my tiled floor and i almost fell down the stairs. It was my husband grabbing my legs that stopped me. I would have killed me. Sad thing is there?s a part of me that wishes i did. It would all be over with. My husband had to call my mother to help him look after me. What a nightmare.
I screwed up. I made a terrible mistake again. Now i'm not aloud to be alone even for a minute. When my husband is out he's going to drop me off at my mums so i'm not alone. I'm not even allowed to be upstairs on my own. I've brought this on myself. I accept and do not fight that my life is being taken away by my family who love me as drink was taking my life away anyway.
I've started taking my supplements and i feel hopeful. I haven't craved any but that could just be that last night is still fresh in my mind.
My parents are sending me to be hypnotized and i've used for different things and it's worked well.
The scary thing is that all the ladies on my dads side of the family are alcoholics. Maybe it runs in the genes. I have a 9 month old baby girl, i need to protect her and make sure she'll not go down the path i have.
I'd just like to say a huge thank you to all the family members who watch there loves go through this curse, who stay and help support us and take us through our faults. If it wasn't for people like them,we would have no chance in this cruel world.
So this is my day one AF!
I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
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