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**Dolly Sunshine** · August 16, 2008, 03:38 PM

New Confused....

What supplements do you have? You have read the book? Are you following the book as far as dosing up on the topa? I'm not trying to put you on the spot but you seem all over the place. You can get tons of support here if you want it and are making an effort to work toward recovery. Feel free to pm me anytime.

**Boss.man** · August 16, 2008, 04:36 PM

New Confused....

Hey I'm a business owner. I even found online a study that targeted business owners because they have super-stressed adrenal systems that are really not normal to other people.

The US has 360 million people, and 350 million of them wish they owned a business. They think the freedom from working schedule, from boss requests, and from wages would be "nice" or even "fun".

You and I know the other side. Working schedule: 24x7. Boss: your customer. Wages: sometimes negative. No worker ever earns less than minimum wage, but the business owner often does.

You WON. You got through 13 years, and you'll get through 13 more years. You conquered the tough customer. You've dealt with the IRS. If you lived in King Arthur's court, you would wump those knights so bad your would have the head of the round table. If you were one of King Henry's wives, you would have been ruler of all of Britain while he sat in the tower. You have the power.

You can't possibly believe you will cede your power to a liquid.

Alcohol has a weird bunch of chemical reactions. It overloads your blood sugar, and serotonin, while diminishing your dopamine which your higher brain needs to handle higher level activities. Alcohol creates an artificial dependence, simply because you LET IT do so.

So the key friend you need is simply yourself. You are definitely tough enough, you've already shown that to the world. Now you just have to look at yourself and say I'm ready for the next step. I'm ready to move beyond the time I let a liquid control my life.

Everyone here on this forum will help. We've all been there, and still are fighting the great fight.

**Sunbeam** · August 16, 2008, 04:47 PM

New Confused....

I think no one individual here can give you the advice you need. Your need a selection of suggestions. Jump on one of the threads, that is really a group. "Booze Busters", the August "Come one, Come All,", "30 days?". I started out with the one coordinated by Sweet Pea (Fireworks!). The groups are all great. It is nice to have a home where people will develop a sense of you. This thread will get responses. You could also start a thread on Tell Us Your Story.

**Lila** · August 16, 2008, 05:08 PM

New Confused....

hi Thalayana
welcome - just keep posting and let us all get to know you.
I have to get back to my daughter but just wanted to say Hello

Lila

**Thalyanna** · August 17, 2008, 02:06 AM

New Confused....

Well, thank you all for answering, but Miss Dolly Sunshine: please don't be so judgmental. First thing I did was download & read the book, & listen to the tapes & buy the packaged-vitamin supplements, & get on the Topamax and get a daily pill-box container. I'm not that all over the place but I didn't know one had to be totally articulate and present well-thought out ideas in this forum.

I just feel so alone. Thank you, Boss.man, and Sunbeam and Lila for your thoughts. Obviously not that many people are interested in helping me. I mean, THIS is a "thread", right? You've got to have some kind of draw, I guess, to get people's interest, just like anything else. The bells & whistles, the photos and smiley faces. It's just too much advertising for me...and too much like my work. I came here for help. And so then are you 4 in it for the long haul?

Anyway, I just wanted some help in getting past the starting gate. Please refer back to my initial posting. I mean, the whole book was a one-on-one buddy e-mailing thing... Am I so fucked up in thinking that might work for me too, instead of a whole bunch of strangers jumping on a "thread" and saying "hey, we're there for you" or "you sound all over the place"?

OK, maybe it's just the problem-solver in me, but when things don't work, I really want to make them work....And I really try to make them work. And I'm hardest on myself for not "doing" the MWO program perfectly, for not liking the guy's voice on the tapes (again, anyone...is this an issue? do I have to do the tapes?)....

What'd really be great is a few stories about what started your journey on day 1, or what took you from day 2 to day 5, or the sentence you kept repeating in your head, or your favorite way to remember taking those damn vitamins.

Or maybe I'm just a loser with no self-discipline, unable to succeed at anything. Yep, probably that's it.

**bloggy** · August 17, 2008, 05:15 AM

New Confused....

Hi Thalyanna

I dont think Dolly was being judgamental, she just wondered if you had started the program or not.

We are all in different time zones here- hence you might not get loads of replies immediately.

I personally don't have the MWO hypnosis CDs- when I came here I already had others, but I have read the guy's voice annoys other people on this board. I am currently about to try something a little different which combines self-hypnosis with brainwave training- I will report here as soon as I can.

I also don't take the topamax due to bad side effects- I think most people here are following the program to a degree but many of us aren't following it completely for one reason or another.

I wish I had an answer for you (and the rest of us

) but it seems to be a process, and what helps one person won't necessarily work for another.

Basically I think when we really, finally have had enough of letting the poison otherwise known as AL ruin our lives we will stop.

I believe at the age of 43 I am now there- it has ruined the first half of my life and I don't want it to ruin the second half.

I don't know if you are finding the supplements to be helpful- I did then stopped taking them because they seemed to 'stop working'- I have now upped my dosage and they are certainly helping with the cravings.

**Sunbeam** · August 17, 2008, 06:25 AM

New Confused....

Thylana,
I actually stopped drinking in January, 5 days before finding My Way Out. Didn't use the supplements, meds, tapes, didn't know about them. I bought some glutamine yesterday because sugar cravings have been an issue for me. I had hoped to lost weight, but haven't. Anyway, I got started by making a list of all the things I hate about drinking: how I feel physically, longer-term health, things I could accomplish without alcohol, memory etc etc. When I was feeling weak, I re-read the list. I hated all of that, much like you feel like a loser at the moment. That list really helped. The support here has enabled me to be in much better control. I have learned so much. Reading the MWO book gave me hope. I was pretty ignorant, thought AA was my only choice but I just would never consider going to a live meeting. I've never even been in the chat room here, though I post pretty often.

I was more of a binge drinker - didn't drink daily, and often would stop at a couple of glasses. But once a week I would find that I didn't stop. When that turned into twice in a week, I said, "I'm done!" Searched Amazon.com for books. I purchased MWO and Allen Carr's book, Easy Way to Quit Drinking. So I was already AF for 2 weeks before I received the book.

My mistake was thinking I could learn to drink moderately. That worked for 3 months, but then I could see myself increasing, drinking more quantities and more frequently than I had planned. So I am now quitting again, though last week was not a good week, I WILL be successful again. Life without alcohol is SO much better. That warm, relaxed feeling from alcohol simply isn't worth the struggle to me.

I am sorry you are feeling neglected here. There has been a lot of personal stuff going on here recently, which goes with the drinking turf, I guess. Many people often welcome newcomers, but too frequently the newcomers seem to disappear. Maybe you could post a "How to get started" thread, and you will get more suggestions for that question.

**SassyGirl** · August 17, 2008, 07:55 AM

New Confused....

Thalyanna;385214 wrote:
What'd really be great is a few stories about what started your journey on day 1, or what took you from day 2 to day 5, or the sentence you kept repeating in your head, or your favorite way to remember taking those damn vitamins.

Or maybe I'm just a loser with no self-discipline, unable to succeed at anything. Yep, probably that's it.

Thal,
What started my journey on day 1 was a terrible hangover (of all things.) I got loaded (by myself) for no reason, and woke up so hungover I was useless all day. All I could do was lay on the couch and nap. I felt like such a waste of space, and all I could think was "This is a WEDNESDAY. Nothing special was going on last night. What possessed me to get so drunk?"

I couldn't come up with a single reason, other then I am developing a problem. So for the first time, I sought help and found MYO.

As for the vitamins, I found little tiny baggies at GNC and plan on putting all my doses together on Sunday nights for the week. There's space to write on the bag what day/time to take it. I think remembering to do it around mealtimes should work for me...but you are right, it's a lot! I don't even have all my supps yet or my topa, just found a few things at GNC and am plugging along on my own.

As for you being a "loser"...come on now. No need for self-pity here.

You will get tons of support here, but I read somewhere that the weekends are a little slow. I think like any other board, the longer you're here and the more you post, the more friends you'll make.

I truly wish you well, Thal and looking forward to working hard together.

Sassy

**bloggy** · August 17, 2008, 08:06 AM

New Confused....

LOL- I have just had to laugh at the 'loser' bit.

It is such bloody hard work being a drinker- getting it, hiding it, paying for it, acting sober while drunk, working through thumping hangovers, I honestly think those of us who drink successfully could do anything! We are just directing our serious talents at the wrong thing

**Doggygirl** · August 17, 2008, 08:20 AM

New Confused....

marbella;385330 wrote: LOL- I have just had to laugh at the 'loser' bit.

It is such bloody hard work being a drinker- getting it, hiding it, paying for it, acting sober while drunk, working through thumping hangovers, I honestly think those of us who drink successfully could do anything! We are just directing our serious talents at the wrong thing

Can we have an A-M-E-N!!!!! The only "edit" to make your statement fit me is the "acting sober while drunk" part. While I of course made monumental efforts in this department, I'm quite sure I was not nearly as successful with this as I thought I was at the time.

Thalyanna - I started out by KNOWING that drinking had taken my life away. Over the years I went from being a highly functional drunk, to a barely functional home alone - drink through the day every day sort of drunk. I knew the madness had to stop, and I found MWO July 2007. I read the book first, then ordered the supplements, CD's and also Topomax from an on-line pharmacy. (in other words, follow the program exactly as written). The only change I ended up making was never actually taking the Topa as the other stuff arrived well before the Topa, and I did well at the start without Topa.

I made it for 60 days and was feeling good. Then the Booze Beast Lie#1, "now we can have just 1....(moderate)" got me. I took a hard fall and for me, that "one" lasted for months. After a couple more false starts I got back on the MWO complete program, still without Topa, but this time with more serious exercise and I'm 88 Days AF and feeling great. I've learned my lesson about "just one" and know that the best way for me to live my life is AF - 100%.

I'm a believer sticking close to the program as written. Tweaks are fine over time. But if using parts of the program hasn't worked - then maybe try the program in full and give that a shot?? Just an idea.

Best wishes,

DG

**A Work in Progress** · August 17, 2008, 09:05 AM

New Confused....

T., my approach is just about the same as DG's, above. And, as to the tapes, the guy's voice irritated me so much that I never listened more than once, BUT I practice meditation daily. There's a lot more info about that here on a couple of threads, as well (it is very effective for some folks in preventing relapse).

One more thing, and please don't get defensive. You said something in your first post about not having time for coming online and getting info and support here. I understand you are busy... many of us are terribly busy. But the "I don't have time to do x, y, or z" really should be placed in perspective. If you believe, as many of us do, that this is a fight for your life... then you will "find" or "make" the time... for just about anything. People who are diagnosed with cancer rarely say that they "just don't have time" for chemotherapy... Maybe a similar approach is what is needed for recovery from the potentially ruinous, often fatal, disorder of alcohol abuse (or alcoholism or whatever you want to call it).

As to the one-on-one approach... that's fine if you have your own willing and motivated buddy, as RJ did. Most of us do not. And of course this forum is not in a position to be in the business of pairing people up to do it that way, and I am sure you understand that.

This approach, and this forum, are far from ideal. I am sure each of us would change some aspects of it, if we could... but that's true of everything, isn't it? This approach is VERY helpful for a lot of people, and I am betting that it can be for you... if you persist. Persistence and determination are major factors in your success!

best wishes,

wip

**vera-b** · August 17, 2008, 12:18 PM

New Confused....

Welcome Thaly,

Lots of good info and responses here. I can assure you, though, that most of us are not closet computer nerds! I was lost on this site at first - didn't realize threads could have more than one page. Was directed by Renewal to his/her newbie thread, and couldn't find it! Wondered how people got those cute pictures by their names, what it took to be a "senior" member, and what all the abbreviations stood for (I thought Evielou, when she always said she was "kicking AL's butt" was referring to her husband!!) But being proficient on the computer wasn't the point. Finding a way to take alcohol out of the center of my being was. That's what we all want. We learn from each other - sometimes from our mistakes and sometimes through our triumphs.

I've often longed for that one special friend who knew just when to encourage me and when to back off. Who was there when I needed her but didn't hang on like a cheap suit. Who could say just the right things so that I'd WANT to exercise, eat healthy foods, like my cat and not have the thought of my next drink take up 3/4 of my brain. It's been a process, but I'm slowly discovering that person is me. Sometimes I like that self discovery, and sometimes not so much. I hope your journey is fruitful for you. For our part, we are here at varying times (where else can you get encouragement and the weather in Ireland?) and will help, prod and congratulate whenever we can.

V.

**RoadWarrior** · August 17, 2008, 08:51 PM

New Confused....

Hi, welcome, T, hi you guys! Day 1 for me, Again, AF. I had been on the mwo program a year ago, did the topomax, but hated the topo. I was successful leaving that behind and just did the supplements and the cd's . I found the guy's voice on the CD really distracting, the pronounciations of some of the words threw me off. But, give it all a chance. I was successful! But, now am back

I feel SO TERRIBLE today, hung over and sad. I am so glad that this site is here and that you are all here to share the journey. With me, I wanted moderation, but as this last year went on, I drank more and more and finally got back into the mess of it all. Now, I know that I'm just one of those people who can't moderate, it's gotta be AF.

I hope you are all well! I just got back from the Little League World Series games tonight, here in the beautiful Pennsylvania mountains. It's a beautiful night, I feel lousy, but know that tomorrow I'll feel better!

**givingitago** · August 17, 2008, 10:30 PM

New Confused....

Hi T,

I can understand your confusion and frustration. I am also new and have a tough time figuring everything out. I'm "successful", "a type" and results oriented so always looking for the "efficient path" to accomplish my goals. From what I've seen, the members on the site are very helpful and supportive, AND generous with their time. I have been keeping notes of the individuals that sounds like they can most relate to my particular situation. I have heard reference to PMing them/ communicating with them directly, but haven't figured it out yet. There I think you can mail/ dialogue with a specific person you have found to be helpful or to really relate to. I will let you know when I learn more. Good luck and wish me the same! I think we probably have a lot in common. Ciao!

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