Worried about the weekend

[nanlovesdogs]

Worried about the weekend

No WIP, you didn't miss anything. I am not ready to try AF just yet. I know I just need to jump off the drunken cliff. My request for advise was actually wanting people to tell me what I am doing is ok, even though I know it's not. You know.. "that's my rationalization and I'm stickin' to it"!

Knowing that I am not alone is helping me, but I am a big fat chicken and stubborn enough to try it my way before I try it the right way.

Boss, I used to work for a respiratory therapy company and am familiar with apnea. The only sleep disorder I have is my battle with AL.

[A Work in Progress]

Worried about the weekend

Got it, Nan. I understand. You aren't gonna be ready until YOU are ready, and that is just how it is for all of us. I hope that soon, when you get all your stuff organized with supps etc., that will be the time when you throw that internal switch that says "ENOUGH"!!!

best wishes,

wip

[nanlovesdogs]

Worried about the weekend

WIP, hope it is still ok that I post here. I am learning so much and gaining som semblance of strength.

[Boss.man]

Worried about the weekend

You're perfect posting here Nan!

While we can all post, and brag, and complain and whine, the only one that will make a difference is the one inside each of us.

For me, just knowing how many other people struggle is amazing. I thought this was just my personal lonely problem. My Sisyphus stone to bear.

It makes me stronger knowing others have the same hopes (and some false hopes) that I also have. I'm not alone at all.

That helps me a lot. It helps focus my internal dialog on my own individual goals.

I hope it works for you the same way.

[Boss.man]

Worried about the weekend

Nan you are great to be posting here.

For 25 years I thought my "problem" was my lonely burden to bear. It was my Sisyphus against the mountain with no one to help me and too afraid of 12 step programs to ask for help.

Now, I know I'm perfectly normal and there is a whole community of very different people all working through the problems I've had, and the progress I'm going to have.

This forum helps me focus my goals day by day. I now compare my experience to another poster's, or I find shared wisdom. I hope you also find the same benefits.

[A Work in Progress]

Worried about the weekend

Good heavens, of course you can still post here, we would all be very sorry if you were to leave! We all are learning from each other. Take care.

wip

[nanlovesdogs]

Worried about the weekend

Well, here I am. Not happy. A friend called this evening and we had drinks by phone. Missed my 5 limit, but am at 6. Also waiting for laundry. What a quandry!! Not drunk by any means but pleased with my rhyme.

[Boss.man]

Worried about the weekend

Nan. I love you. Only because you love dogs and I do too.

You can't expect miracles in a day.

This whole thing is a process. I too am drinking tonight. My grandfather died last night. Don't get choked up, he was a very old man (born in 1912) and had been hooked up to the machines that go "Bing" for months. They unhooked him last Saturday, and it still took six days. He died with his wifes hand in his hand. And those two are the greatest monument to love that I've ever seen.

Nan, you and I can go up and down every day for a week, or a month or a year. It really doesn't matter. Grandpa was born way before "normal" people owned cars. Credit cards were invented about the time he got adult-onset diabetes in the 1950s. His preferred cigarettes were "Wings". Seriously.

We can have today, and we can have the "rest of our lives" which fortunately happens sometimes beyond next week.

It's our choice.

I told my spouse today I'm going to drink today, and tomorrow. That makes for me 6 drinking days in August 2008. My coping mechanisms just don't deal with non drinking on death. Mea culpa.

My goal is to sober on Sunday and drive a whole week home before the long holiday. And with luck (and a lot of spangles) do the holiday weekend with the strength to do AF.

[nanlovesdogs]

Worried about the weekend

Boss, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are away from your family and support. I hope you are ok.
My drinking is strictly by choice. Are you regularly AF or floundering like me?

Please be well and remember...

[nanlovesdogs]

Worried about the weekend

Boss, hope to hear from you soon. Let's see if we can catch each other's back.

Be well friend.

[bloggy]

Worried about the weekend

Boss and Nan

I hope you are both feeling better today.

I too don't have coping mechanisms- last night I thought my little dog Jack was dying but I couldn't drink Thanks to the antabuse. I am sure I was a lot more useful to him during the night than if I had been crashed out drunk.

I hope you feel better soon Boss.man and Nan it could've been worse, I hope you stopped at the 6 and don't have a hangover today.