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AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

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    #1

    AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

    well the title says it... i screwed up.
    I drank today. I couldn't control the voice in my head. My husband was doing extra work, my mum depressed me sooo much and yelled at me for nothing. I found some wine and i cried as i drunk it. I'm soo upset. I just gave up. I honestly didn't give a sh*t this afternoon and what makes it soooo much worse... my hubby has a test that you blow in and it say if you've had anything... and it says i HAVEN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BULLSH*T. I have had alot so i know it doesn't work. WHAT THE HELL...
    I need to tell him. WHAT A FAILURE AS A MUM and WIFE
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    #2
    AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

    Hey michelle, you've slipped up that doesn't make you a failure honey. What is even braver is that you have posted about it. Don't let this one thing spoil the good work you have been doing. Just get back on that bike and keep riding.
    Chin up girl x
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

    Comment

      #3
      AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

      :tsk: No, No, NO! You are NOT a failure.

      Girl, I just had my own meltdown on Monday (remember I got way drunk at work function and blacked out?) But, I started over again and am now on Day 5 AF. That's all we can do sweetie, is pick ourselves up and try, try again. You are NOT a failure. AL is a tricky little minx and outsmarts us sometimes...that's all. This is a difficult battle - just dust yourself off and start again tomorrow.

      (((Lil Michelle)))

      Comment

        #4
        AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

        lil.michelle,

        You have already learnt so much since joining this community... at least now you know what you want and you aren't saying it's okay to drink. Use this as a learning curve!!

        Stay strong!
        "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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          #5
          AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

          Start again you know you can do it. You should probably work on your triggers too. I'm not going to say it's ok. If you want to be sober it's not. However it is something you can change. My mom is a HUGE trigger for me. Get your 30 days behind you. Ignore her if you have to. Do what you need for YOU to fight this.

          Comment

            #6
            AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

            Failure is giving up......never give up!
            Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

            Comment

              #7
              AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

              LM, you are NOT a failure at all..you had a slip. I am 5 days today, and I swear I was THISCLOSE to slipping last night. Stress is, well, STRESSFULL! You need to jump back in and start over. We are here for you. Just don't let one slip stop you from trying. You can do this and we will be here for you. You are a great person, mother and wife. Remember that. You have friends here.
              "All that we are is a result of what we have thought" Buddah:heart:

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                #8
                AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

                If I f*cked up and drank last night, like I was so tempted to, would you call me a failure???? I think not!! You would tell me exactly what everybody else is telling you. I think we must have more tolerance for ourselves and try to treat ourselves like we would treat our friends. You are not a failure, and neither am I!!! Back on the wagon with you and put it behind you!
                xoxo Peanut

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                  #9
                  AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

                  Gee you guy and girls have such kind and supportive posts for Michelle. I think it’s wonderful, and exactly what Michelle or any one of us needs to here if we fu**ed up. I think we are often to hard on ourselves. I know I am. Now get back on that bike. My thoughts are with you.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

                    You are being way too hard on yourself. I have said the same thing many times, but it simply is not true. You are not a failure. You had a slip... forget about it and get back on the AF horse and ride. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you feel better soon! THat is the great thing about this program... people understand and are compassionate. We are all here for each other and not one of us is worse than the other. We are all in the same boat.

                    Wishing you well,

                    Love and light,
                    FROGZ~

                    Comment

                      #11
                      AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

                      Hi Michelle

                      I hope you are feeling better today and able to get back on the wagon. The problem with me these days is if I have a slip, it becomes 2 or 4 days before I can stop again- one day drinking very rarely happens for me anymore.

                      Therefore I have chosen to go on the Antabuse and believe me it does help my sanity. I wake up in the morning and know I will not be drinking today whatever happens.

                      I have tried to moderate and abstain for years now, and I just cannot do it alone. I would really recommend this for anyone else who can't stop slipping.

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                        #12
                        AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

                        Hi Michelle,
                        You're not a failure at all. You're one brave person for coming on here and posting about it. We're all here for you.
                        Day 1 again for me here and for you.. let's both see if we can get this day AF, ok?
                        Love and Hugs
                        C
                        ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?

                        Comment

                          #13
                          AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

                          Hi chelle... yep, i'm with you. Day one again here we go! I made it 9 days which has been the longest AF since i was preggies so i want to beat that! I want 30 day under my belt.

                          Marbella, I have ordered some like 3 weeks ago and i am STILL waiting for it to come! I can't wait cause i KNOW i can not drink no matter what!

                          Thank you for all your support and advice. I always say this but i truely mean it, i couldn't have made it 1 day AF without the amazing people on this site. THANK YOU ALL!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

                            Ditto to all the thoughts and affirmations above. I am learning my triggers and am trying to find ways to avoid them After a very stressfull conversation with my H I was so agitated that I drank. I realize now that I should have told him that I cann't have conversations like that and not drink. So... If he has nothing nice or edifying to say to me " don't speak ". It is amazing how the most stress in our lives come from within the 4 walls that are supposed to be ( ideally in a perfect world ) our sanctuary. Instead it can be quite the oppossite. Love yourself the way you love others.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              AHHHHH I FU**ed UP

                              Hi LM,

                              How are you today?

                              Keep fighting the good fight!!
                              "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                              Comment

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