denial

[rainbows]

no matter how much i kid myself i know that i have a problem. the fact that i'll have one bottle of wine in the fridge to drink in front of my husband and kids and another hidden to have sneak drinks from is a sure sign. i have to drink every day. usually have my first about 5 o'clock and it's downhill from there on in. i gulp down the first glass and thats me started. most days its about a bottle and a half but definately more at weekends. just can't seem to stop.:new:

[startingover]

denial

Hi Rainbows and a big :welcome: to you.
If you want to stop there is loads of help and advice here. Have you read the book? I also find the supplements very helpful.
Take care

[lil.michelle]

denial

Hi hun!
You sound like i used to. Hiding the bottles. I even use to fill mine up with apple juice so my hubby couldn't see how much i was drinking, downing glasses at a time and running up stairs to have a sneaky drink of wine hidden in my drawers, under the bed or wardrope. I honestly knew i needed to change when i started hiding drink.
This is a fantastic place and everyone here knows what you're going through. We're here to support you and help you. It's a hard battle but it can be won! Buy the book and buy the supplements. They are a GREAT help! Before you know it, you'll have control of your life and drinking!
Welcome!!!!!!!

[Chelle12]

denial

Hi Rainbows,
Try looking at the 'health store' link on this site. Ive just ordered the 5-htp and hope it will help with cravings. There's lots of stuff on there (and fortunately for me, once of the few places that accepts paypal!)
I can so relate to the bottle of wine in the fridge and one hidden elsewhere. Ive got bottles all over place..keep forgetting where I put them. My partner keeps finding them and chucking them out, but I just keep buying more
I thought for ages that my partner didnt know, but when I eventually came clean and told him, he said he knew all the time. I asked him how, and he said he saw the empty glasses in drawers, under the bath(!), and could even see the top of one bottle sticking out the laundry basket.. I guess once you've had afew you get careless in 'hiding' them.
I think there's a good chance your husband probably knows too, but just isnt saying anything if it looks like you're 'functioning' normally.
Take care, and keep reading and posting.
C

[rubywillow]

denial

Ain't that the truth

Chelle, The worst was when my grandchildren found my stash. I was devastated, but it happened more than once, so I didn't stop then. Rainbow, I've been modding but going AF next week. We DO think we're being clever, but alcohol doesn't like to hide; it likes to take over our personality even while we deny it. You don't have any "dirty little secrets" we won't understand here. It's so liberating to really come clean to someone who won't judge you or think you are the worst person on earth. I can just about guarantee you aren't. You've taken the first step :goodjob: and you can take your power back. Tomorrow I may be right back at the bottom, but today I worry only about today. Come back, your :welcome:
CJ

[bloggy]

denial

Hi Rainbows

Welcome!

Been there, done that, with hiding the drink.

The husband of a friend of mine (who is now thankfully 3 yrs AF) told me he even found tetrabricks of cheap Spanish cooking wine hidden in the toilet cistern and the washing machine.

I'm afraid I'm a bit more boring than that just go for putting it on shelves behind other bottles.

Hope you'll hang around and get started with the program.

[SassyGirl]

denial

It doesn't sound like you're in denial anymore, rain. For me, I know that once I made that first admission here on MWO that I had a problem I felt compelled to start addressing it. I wish the same for you also. There are so many great tools available and wonderful people here to get you through....

You're not alone.

Hugs,
Sassy

[rainbows]

denial

everyone is very welcoming here. it nice to be able to say things without feeling i'm being judged. yeh i've done the hiding bottles behind other bottles and in drawers. my D day is tomorrow and this time I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!! so fingers crossed and wish me luck. cheers to everone:thanks:

[newmas]

denial

staying on point

I woke up this morning with my usual hangover though it could have been worse. I had a friend over last night we split a twelve pack. We stayed up late listening to great music. I left the kids to their own devices. They are older but still.
I do this most everyday. I can hold out till 8 or 9pm then I crack a beer, have a glass then more of wine, a vodka coctail...then more. I can't remember a day in the last years that I didn't somehow end my day without a drink.
I recently read an article about running to replace addiction. I think I need to buy some running shoes. I have to find a way to get off the sauce. My friends drink, my family drinks. I saw a sticker that said I"m a drunk, alcoholics go to meetings. " I wondered if that redneck translation was more valid than I gave it credit for. I need to dry up. My body hurts, my kids are growing up and I can't even gracefully get out of bed in the morning and look and feel like Im happy to be alive. How is this legal and crack isn't? Looking for ways to o:new:bsessivley fill my drinking time.

[bloggy]

denial

Hi Newmas

And welcome too! :welcome:

You are in good company here, loads of posts to read through and you can download the MyWayOut book from the link that says 'Store', where the owner of the site describes in full detail the methods she used to tame her drinking problem.

Exercise is an important part of her program- I'm afraid I haven't got that far yet. :blush:

Good luck.

[kriger]

denial

Rain,
Welcome! You have come to the right place, as everyone has already said. We are all in varying stages of trying to fight the BEAST, but everyone here is very supportive and caring so stick around and you will make lots of friends, fast. I have been here a little over three weeks and I can not believe the difference in me. Try to keep down the drinking today and tonight and you will have a much better time tomorrow when you have decided to stop. I wish you all the best and look forward to your future posts. Kriger

[kriger]

denial

Marbella,
I'm with you on not exercising yet. Shall we challenge each other to get off our a***s and do something physical? I don't know about you but I could stand to lose some serious weight and I expected it would just fall away when I stopped drinking but it is still here with me! What do you say, my friend? kriger

[bloggy]

denial

LOL OK- but I think it will take I while before I can do anything too serious- I am only just 3 days AF and still have low energy etc.

How about if I resolve to do half an hour brisk walk everyday until I have a bit more time under my belt? I am sure the exercise is important- particularly if done when one would normally start drinking- I just seem to slump infront of the PC every chance I get.

[Chelle12]

denial

Oh, Im IN on the exercise thing!
I used to do yoga every day (cant balance particularly well these days for some reason....)

I NEED something to keep me busy... housework just doesnt cut it. Been ironing for 3 hours today and miserable as hell... fancy a nice cold chardonnay, but will be supping on my cup of tea that my other half has just made for me.
SO GOOD to go to bed sober tonight... I may even READ my book before going to sleep...wow... lol.

[rainbows]

denial

just let my husband read the comments i left on here admitting my problems. after shouting about me hiding my drinking from him and threatening to take my bank cards and using emotional blackmail about if i can't quit for him then at least do it for the kids............... i'm wondering why i bothered:upset: