denial

[rubywillow]

denial

Rainbows, I had EXACTLY that reaction from my husband. He is a great mate, but he's even taken away my car keys and threatened to sell my mountain cabin. The blackmail term is especially good for what he does, since HE still drinks. He also goes over & over how I acted when I was truly polluted, throwing in my children and grandchildren. I was already guilty feeling enough, I told him, but he had to make me relive every painful detail. That DOES NOT WORK!! We are our own worst judge. So, now that I'm beginning to get control, I will not take it anymore. I simply leave the room. And, as for my beloved cabin, I started paying all it's expenses, so he has NO authority over it. I plan to move there soon, and I've invited him to go, so it's up to him. I wonder secretly what he'll do when I'm in real control over everything I do, what he'll have to do and how he'll react. Have seen some - I turned the tables on him recently and he SURE didn't like it. Stay in touch, seems like we REALLY have some things in common. P.S. We just had our 38th anniversay.
CJ
P.P.S.S. His parents live in our backyard. Some days I think I've gone to hell.:upset:

[jonetrees]

denial

anouther newbie.

I discovered MWO last night.If anyone can give me any suggestions about what I should get..as in books,CD's ..I would be grateful.I went onto the wrong forum and recieved a reply..telling me I was on the wrong forum and blah blah..and I know now I was..but he/she could have been a little kinder.But anyway im here and will do whatever I can to get my consumption down or if I have to abstain then maybe there are tools to assist me.

[Glen]

denial

Marbella, I am five days AF. I usually spend all day in bed or in front of the PC. Now I go for a walk each day and find my physical fitness and well-being is improving. I am doing a little bit of house work each day but often find myself here instead of doing my house work. Well at lest I’m not drinking and doing a little bit more house work each day.

Rainbows, I think? I can see both you and your husbands point of view, and they don’t match. Quite often a non problem drinker can’t understand or sympathize with what you’re trying to do, or how hard it is. My family couldn’t understand why I just didn’t stop. They tried to help me by forcing me to go to a rehab, and felt that I had let them down when I went back drinking. Note: - I could be completely wrong about this as I’m no expert, nor am i a mind reader.

Your husband possibly feels betrayed, and frustrated at his inability to control your drinking and in his own way is trying to fix the problem.

What ever your feeling right now, a drink will make it worse. I think the situation can only improve if you stay AF. Maybe you could tell your husband about Alonon.

[startingover]

denial

Hey jonetrees :welcome:
My recommendation would be that you download the book and get some supplements to get you started. That is what I did and it helps where nothing else did.

If you post your story or any questions on Just Starting out you will get loads of support.
Stay close and keep reading
Startingover.

Glen - GREAT on 5 days, you should be so proud of yourself:goodjob:

[hulagirl]

denial

Hi Jonestrees, and welcome. I am not the expert on all this but you should start with the book by Roberta Jewell, "My Way Out". That's all I've done, along with coming here for support, and have not actually stopped drinking for more than one or two months at a time and then "something" happens (like life and stress) and I think I must deal with it by drinking. Big Mistake! So I am probably not the person to give advice, I haven't tried the supplements or the CD's but I wanted to let you know that this is a great place to get started and many here can help you more than I can.

[rubywillow]

denial

:welcome:Hi, Jonetree! Great you found us. Maybe the person who first responded was having a really,really bad, horrible, terrible, really bad day. Everyone has been super kind and helpful to me in the last couple weeks since I joined in. Maybe you could go to the menu and post your own thread about being new, telling your story, and asking for help. It was great for me,one to get out all that crap and two, for all the suggestions. Come back, even if you mess up. There are no judges here, only compassion and understanding. Plus, I think everyone is a little nuts - I know I am. Humor helps deal with the sadness and frustration alcohol dumps on us. :l Finding out I'm not alone may have saved me life in the long run.:welcome:
CJ

[Boss.man]

denial

Rainbow this is a huge emotional issue with yourself. Now you brought your spouse into it and he/she has opinions.

For me, personally, I like to fight an internal war. I like to diminish the number of combatants in my war. I find outside combatants distract from my personal goals.

Welcome, Please, to our forum, and welcome to the hundreds of people who like you have somehow found that alcohol has become the enemy, and is now an ex-friend.

My advice is to gentle your husband. Tell him you found a great resource and have great expectations. That generally puts the spouses on standby for at least two weeks. (I"m an expert at that...LOL)

And then, look at yourself. When you were a small child, it was expected you learn every day. When you went from age 2 to age 5 everything was new.

Now you are an adult and nothing has been new for a decade. But I'll tell you something new. The new thing is that you will live as a healthy adult for the rest of your life! That's new.

You'll experience natural sleep, and energy you never imagined as an adult. You'll gain sex drive (warn the spouse) and suddenly focus on your whole future, which means your investments and retirement.

Alcohol is a crutch that ties your entire life into a narrow world view.

Real people, children and grandmothers, live free and laugh in the supermarket parking lot.

Let's you and I join them together. Let's move from "do I have enough booze to last through Sunday", to "Let's chat and enjoy the kids at the supermarket".


I know smokers have it harder. I've never been to jail. But I have done a full IRS business audit. And the whole concept of abandoning my 30 year liquid ex-friend is tough.

[madge22]

denial

Exercise works!

Hi Newmas and others... I am finding that, apart from the book and the supplements, exercise is really helping me. I would love to do moderation but, for now, it's AF or I am in trouble still. My husband and I are getting up nice and early and taking our dog for a long walk in the morning before breakfast. I find it a great motivator... the dog is thrilled and does "wheelies" ... I cannot ignore her excitement. It's a motivator to think in the evening how much fun we will have in the morning. This is a great site... sometimes there are a few folk who get a bit side-tracked and mean... but 99% is so positive and uplifting... stay here and feel empowered!!

[rainbows]

denial

husband has calmed down or more got over the shock and admitted he's struggling cos i'm struggling and he doesn't know what to do. my appointment with the gp is made for tomorrow and he's taking the day off work to come with me (his suggestion) i didn't drink at all yesterday and i only seriously thought about it once when a wasp that i hadn't seen land in my glass of juice stung me on the lip when i went to drink from my glass of juice :upset: can't believe the difference in my sleep last night and it's strange not having a headache today. oh well thanks to every one and take care