this is the last time

[roseknows]

Hey all, I'm having a tough time here. I joined MYO a few months ago, because I get really "into" not drinking anymore and can go a week or two without touching a drink...but then when I do have one drink, it turns into three days of binge drinking instead, and I end up going off the deep end - big time (as in, I missed my first day of grad school today because I'm too hungover). Everytime I drink too much I tell myself that "this is the last time, so just drink all you can/want" - but I've had too many last times!! Any advice/like stories that you all can give would be great - this is my first time posting on the website, and I'm just not sure what else to do (except check into rehab...joking, cause I can't miss THAT much school..but kind of not joking). I know I need to just not drink at all - which sucks cause I think it may stigmatize me with my buddies - but I just lack will power!

Thanks for any help!:new:

[Carmac]

this is the last time

Rose -

You've described me to a tee. I could go weeks without a drop but when I started I didn't stop.

I have used various techniques. Never drinking alone. No alcohol in the house. Always drinking water or a soda in between drinks. I usually did fine in public, it was the drinking in private that did it to me.

Now I have decided to take Antabuse and i find that works well. On that, I can't have a dirnk or will get ill.

Does any of that help?

[roseknows]

this is the last time

Thanks for sure. My problem is drinking on my own as well...I tend to drink a lot when with friends, and have a great time (from what I remember) but I also do this "i need to self medicate" thing when I'm on my own, and feel sorry for myself and try to soothe it with booze - it sucks. I'd love to try anabuse, but right now I don't have medical insurance, so it could be spendy - you need a prescription, right? And by sick, what exactly do you mean (you can send this private if its TMI). I'm honestly willing to deal w/ anything right now. Thanks again for your help!!

[toughintexas]

this is the last time

Rose, I think you've made a great step, posting, it helps! Have you downloaded the book and read it yet? You can do it online....the supps help too....esp. the L-glut, I get the MetRx powdered, it has alot of L-glut per Tsp., mix it with water or juice about an hour before the "witching " hours of the day, keep drinking it until the craving kinda passes, even if you take a drink, after the L-glut, its not as appealing...it may help you cut down. You know you have to identify the "triggers" that make you want to self-medicate....at first, it may just be easier to change your "habits", instead of coming in from school or work, and going to the bar, or popping a cork or tab, whatever, change your routine, and go to the gym or someplace that you usually don't drink....change up your "habit".... A councelor told me once to get a journal and write down what thoughts, emotions, events, etc., that "trigger" you to want to drink...esp. after a week or two AF....then, you can figure out a way to deal with that "stuff" that makes you want to fall off the wagon, without falling off the wagon! It's a hard journey, and it won't be without bumps in the road....is there a group on campus that you can join in? Not even AA, but maybe even a Celebrate Recovery group at a church nearby? It was started at Saddleback church, Rick Warren that wrote "The Purpose Driven Life", one of his assoc. pastors, was sitting in church, hungover most Sundays, and knew he couldn't possibly be the only person feeling the same way in that huge church, so they founded Celebrate Recovery....you can Google it, and see if there's a place nearby you. Or, is there a councelor you can utilize on campus to talk to privately about this, and what other options you can use to stop needing to self-medicate...I did the samething.... I hope you hang in here with us....you can always go to chat and type instead of drinking in the evenings, lots of good folks to provide support there usually! Just admitting you have to get a grip on it, helps in a small way. What are you studying to be when you grow up??? lol Glad you are here!

[toughintexas]

this is the last time

Oh, and on the anatbuse, it is a great tool to stop the cycle....we own a pharmacy and I was a pharm. sales rep., so I can tell you with knowledge, that you do have to be diligent on it....you cannot have a sip of alcohol, you can end up in the ER, its very, very serious...it will keep you from drinking, cuz you could do serious harm if you drank, while taking it...but you do have to be committed enough to take it...you can get it overseas from a pharmacy, but I have to tell you that they don't have the same standards for the amount of active ingredients as the USA....I'm betting there's a councelor or Dr. on campus that would give you an Rx, it does help to break the habit, and it will force you to deal with lifes "stuff" sober, so you get good practice!

[roseknows]

this is the last time

Tough in Texas thank you!!

I'm not that religious, but very spiritual, so I will definitely look at celebrate recovery. And the journaling sounds perfect. I'm actually a law student (my last year; going to do low-income legal aid services when i graduate) which does not help my problem. This profession loves loves loves to drink - and has the highest alcohol abuse problems - but really doesn't do anything to help us! In fact, when I apply to the state bar after I finish law school, they actually penalize me if I've taken any type of alcohol abuse therapy or anything...isn't that horrible? So I suppose I'm trying to be under the radar for right now. I will get on chat FOR SURE in the evenings (of course the hour that is the hardest) but how/where do I get on?
Again, Thanks

[toughintexas]

this is the last time

Wow, that's awesome! I mean about being in your last year of law school, good for you!!! That's a great accomplishment! I know what you mean, its funny tho, as a pharmaceutical sales rep, I never had a drinking problem, and they center every sales meeting, etc., golf tournaments, around drinking...I didn't start til my late 30's when I quit work, and had a bit too much time on my hands, and less competition/goals in my life, so I had to deal with that..... Being an atty. to be, you HAVE to get this book I'm reading, its incredible, and its about a lawyer that has a heart attack in court, and ditches his high profile, maddinly rich life style, and goes to repair his Spirit in India....you'll love it, and I think it is our Spirit, that we forget to enrich, and thus, our downfalls at times....It's called The Monk that sold his Ferrari....by Robin S. Sharma..... Just keep on keeping on...

[vera-b]

this is the last time

Rose,

I think Tough gave you the most helpful advice. Antabuse may work for some, but I think the various aspects of RJ's program are worth exploring - reading her book, taking some kind of meds and/or supps, hypno cd's, diet, exercise, etc. These all work in conjunction with each other to address our physical and emotional selves to combat the demon AL. I'm sure there are some aspects of the typical binge drinker that are different than those of us who (used to) prefer drinking every day (hey, if it's a good crutch/reward/delusion for Saturday, why not Sun., Mon., Tues. . . .) but the MWO program should address those as well. Let us know how you're doing. We're all in this boat together!

Vera-b.

[toughintexas]

this is the last time

So right Vera-b! We have to use, borrow, and trade out all the tools in all of our toolbox's to help each other, whatever works, or combo thereof, is what we have to do! Rose, you will beat this, I'm sure of it! Just give it time, and remember, not a single one of us has ever gotten it right to start with, but together, we'll give get there! I think the biggest thing, is just being sick and tired of being sick and tired! Ok, off to the gym for happy hour.....lol......