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Failed again... BIG Time

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    #1

    Failed again... BIG Time

    Right ...
    This time it's serious. Even though its always been serious, this time its even more so..

    My fiance has said that he cannot sell his house when he moves in with me full time becsuse of his cats. Now, I cant have cats because my son is asthmatic and allergic to cat fur..
    He wont give up his cats.
    I dont know what to do.
    Im pissed now....
    I have 4 bottles of wine and have drank one and not eaten a thing all day... Im disgusted weith myself and how Im handling this but i feel so alone.

    My son is spending the night at my parents because Im too pissed to be driving and I cant put him at risk in the car whilst im like this.
    My parents DO NOT NEED this hassle of an alco-daughter..but now they REALLY know my situation when it comes to alcohol.

    I only HOPE AGAINST HOPE that my finace will stay with me tonight... I dont want to be alone.

    I hate myself

    BIG time.

    Shit.... and now my Dad, who is in his mid 60's knows what Im doing to myself... and niow my Mum knows and she is going to be so fucking angry.
    Christ Im such a fucking loser
    ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?
    Tags: None
    #2
    Failed again... BIG Time

    Chelle, jump into chat
    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

    Comment

      #3
      Failed again... BIG Time

      Once again, reminded me of something someone here said (sorry, who was it? I can't remember). Anyway, I found them so powerful and I hope you find comfort in these words, too.

      God Does Not Make Junk!

      Hugs to you!:l
      You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

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        #4
        Failed again... BIG Time

        Well said River - I remember that too!
        "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

        Comment

          #5
          Failed again... BIG Time

          Chelle,

          I'm thinking of you, try and sober up before your fiance comes home.

          PM me if you need to chat:-)
          "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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            #6
            Failed again... BIG Time

            Thinking of you chelle x
            Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
            Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

            Comment

              #7
              Failed again... BIG Time

              Chelle, Hey!! Listen, it's ok. Please don't drink anymore. Drink will NOT take away the pain or help you think staight. Please drink some water and sleep it off.

              Don't worry about your parents, just focus on your son! Get rid of the 4 or now 3 bottles in your house. If you are a drinker trying to go AF then having drink in the house is a NO go area.

              YOU ARE NOT A LOSER! We all go through rough times, we all screw up. I know how you're feeling. The last time i got drunk my hubby called my mum and dad over to help with me and i was almost hospitalized. I was so humiliated! AND i had to see them the next day, i was shaking when i went to there house, i felt so bad and such a loser.... It WILL GO AWAY CHELL. I promise you! You'll feel better soon.

              We're going to do this together ok... we will start again tomorrow and go AF.. Me, you and whoever wants to join us... we'll fight this!!... You up for it? Lets do it for our children!

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                #8
                Failed again... BIG Time

                Well said Michelle. Its great to hear you sounding so positive hun.
                Chelle, she is right c'mon girl, you can do it!
                Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                  #9
                  Failed again... BIG Time

                  Been out for a drive (my fiance was driving) and we had a chat... things are good between us, but I've no idea yet what my parents must think of me... let alone, my son
                  They now know my problem... I think they probably already knew... but this is the first time theyve had to look after my son and take him in overnight because of my drinking.
                  Im sobering up and feel like crap now, and I miss my son so much
                  Going to have a pint of WATER (lime and lemon flavoured) and a bowl of soup and then go to bed, so I can be ready to see my son tomorrow morning.
                  I so HATE myself for putting my parents through my own s***e... but I cant talk to them tonight.
                  will post again tomorrow.
                  C
                  ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Failed again... BIG Time

                    (((Chelle)))

                    I have been there too (in that place where you feel like you have fucked up beyond what you ever thought possible.) You just keep starting over. Never give up.

                    Sassy

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                      #11
                      Failed again... BIG Time

                      Chelle

                      I don't have kids but I can well imagine how you must feel.

                      Your parents love you and their main concern will be to see you well, not what you have 'done'.

                      The Antabuse will be there soon, you will be fine, and all this will be forgotten.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Failed again... BIG Time

                        Chelle -

                        Tomorrow is a new day and becomes your today for a new start.

                        Stay strong....Erin
                        Happy to be AF Since 9.13.08

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Failed again... BIG Time

                          Oh Chelle,

                          So wish we could all take a little of your pain on our backs, at least for a moment or two. Seriously, though, CATS?????? Tell me your fiance is not so taken with his furry friends that he would not move in with you?!? Could he possibly have a friend or two adopt them so he could visit them occasionally and not subject your son to their fur?

                          I know it's times like this when we're so vulnerable and that's exactly when the old demon AL grins his devilish grin. So it's done. Time to do some damage control. First, know that your parents do love you, and they're probably a tad worried. Acknowledge you have a problem and that you're taking action on it. Let them know you need their love and support now more than ever. You are worth every ounce of effort to get this monkey off your back. We all are. God does not make junk. I've said it before and I'll repeat it. The creator of the universe set your feet on this earth and believe me, he knew what he was doing. I'm in your corner, though I can't say as I feel the same way about those cats . . .

                          Vera-b.

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                            #14
                            Failed again... BIG Time

                            LOL I can understand where he is coming from- it doesn't mean he loves Chelle less- it just means he loves his cats too

                            I would do the same as him- animals don't live forever, and maybe in the meantime he will try to work something out- but it would be no good forcing him to give them away as he will be sad and resentful.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Failed again... BIG Time

                              do what you need to change what you can now... keep on trying and do your best for you and and your family .. stay strong and think positive
                              :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                              best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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