Success vs Failure....wondering why?

[paisley]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Its not easy. otherwise we wouldnt be here. You are a fighter. there may be days, weeks, months that you fall off but guess what, many people do. I am one of them. i have a 7 day thing going on right now that intend to continue into the the weeks to follow (i work better when setting short term goals) and its a struggle i gotta tell you, but noone including myself should make me feel bad if i were to slip. thats why, if God willing, we always have tomorrow. The thing is we must fight for it (emotionally and physically) today to achieve it those goals.

[A Work in Progress]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Mili, I could not agree more. If we are not "fighting for it" we simply are not going to get where we want to be! And I would add to that, something I think you are also saying: persistence is a key element. Sometimes we have to fight the tendency to give up the fight!

Good for all of you on that 7-day thread!

wip

[cmhguy3]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Thanks for bumping this back up! Great thoughts that have helped me keep things in perspective today. Good stuff!

[SAUSAGE]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Akgirl
Hi there - whether you choose to moderate or quit is a personal choice and only you can make that decision. I just want to add that from my own experience (having first tried to moderate - and failed -despite over 3 months AF, and now aiming for abstinence) I have to say that suprisingly i've come to the conclusion that learning to moderate is a lot harder and tougher on yourself and can lead to agonising decisions , whereas for me quitting is probably going to be easier - yet some people see moderation as the easier option. - Why?

Moderating takes extreme will power - you may be successful, you may not ....
When do you allow yourself a drink - what event / circumstance could you allow a drink
How much? - what if you can't stop - what if it leads to a run of daily drinking again - which was my problem every time I tried to mod
Would you feel guilty after?
How would you record it eg 5/2 (2 days drinking 5 days AF in a 7 day spell)
Would days / events when you don't allow yourself to drink be lesser quality because you're denying your self the pleasure
Can't you make any day an excuse to drink if you have to to justify it eg friends' birthdays, bad day at work, good day at work so celebrate, night out, bank holidays, fridays, saturdays, worked hard today, time to celebrate etc etc?
You never get AL out of your memory with moderation so you never learn to find pleasures in other ways
You will end up obsessed with when you're going to allow that next drink like a dieter obsesses with when they can next have chocolate

Just some food for thought - hope it helps you come to a decision in your own mind one way or the other

Good luck, keep going
Sausage xx

[Croft]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Wally22;393161 wrote: Well mod is better than full blow alkie right? So you have taken the first steps!!! Good for you. I doubt that anyone succeeds 100% on their first try. I expect all of us will have to try, try and try again. I think it's the ability to keep picking ourselves up and dusting ourselves off and starting all over again that is the trick.
I think this site is magical, because you can be with people who are in the same boat. You can read variations on your own story and be with people who really understand what you are going through. That helps a lot!!
Also you can take a break, and come back when you need help, and no one is taking attendance or calling you names. That is just great.
I don't know why it is harder for some than others. It's hard for me, but it is easier when I come here.
I hope coming here makes it easier for you too.
Hugs

This post says it all!!!!

[lil.michelle]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Hun, it completely depends on the person, there situation, the amount of time they have been drinking, the stresses in there life, the reasons they want to quit, how many times they've quit and slipped ect ect ect.

You should never NEVER compare yourself to other people. You're doing well. You've mod... better then what you drinking before right... This takes time and many slips for most people. Just look at yourself, not at other people and you'll be fine. You sound very VERY determained and i'm sure you'll figure out a way to stay AF. Good luck you XXXXXXX

[savon19]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Great post Doggy.

I, too, thought I could moderate... Went down that slippery slope to land face first in big mud puddle!

HATED to admit to myself I couldn't handle it. (Still secretly think I can!!) But the reality is... at least Now (I won't think about the future - lol), I just can't. Like Doggy said, toooo many "decisions" when modding that this itsy-bitsy brain apparently can't make wisely.

I've also told myself (and had friends agree - as though that made it Real!) that I'm NOT an alcoholic. I hate the label; seems like a life sentence. I prefer to say that I have a "drinking problem". Makes me feel like if it's a problem, then I can solve it. (Whatever floats my boat, right?)

Anyway, I made 7 days, starting Day 8. I posted on that 7 Day thread & it felt good when I posted today that I had made it. Then realized I committed to another 7 by posting! (Sneaky)

It's still ODAT, though. Or even one moment at a time...

Hard to realize when you're drinking that you really WILL feel better, both physically & mentally, when you don't drink. It's kind of ironic that what happens usually when you drink is that your self-esteem goes in the toilet, yet even one day AF helps get you out of there!!

Happy Sunday to all!

[savon19]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Doggygirl;394199 wrote:
It took me awhile to figure out that I was mistakenly using a term implying an "accidental event" to an event - consciously drinking - that involved CHOICE on my part.

So FOR MYSELF the word "slip" is no longer in my vocabulary as it pertains to alcohol. If I ever drink again, it will be because I chose to drink. Not because I had a slip.

Just more food for thought.

DG
Day 99 AFHF

VERY good "food", Doggy!! So true that we have built-in forgiveness mechanism if we say we slipped, so it was out of our control. Not to say that we can't/shouldn't forgive ourselves, but we should call a spade a spade!

So, DG, I'm taking "slip" out of my vocabulary, too. If I drink again, it will be because I Chose to...

[akgirl]

Success vs Failure....wondering why?

Bump

Still fighting