this is too hard

[newjoe]

Hi again folks. I?m sorry if I?m posting too much and being a pain in your butts, but I?m all alone and you?re all I have. (that didn?t come out right, sorry about that).
Not getting off the track too far, ya know, the mortgage co. tripled my mortgage so I let them keep their stupid house. My lady and her boy moved to the same small mountain town that my daughter and her mom live, in 100 miles away, while I?m stuck in stupid Sacramento because there just ain?t no jobs up there for me. (They all survived the fires and evacuations, no stress there?)
So I thought I was going to lose it last night. I was cooking, and I reached for a beer, just like we did when we all cooked together. Not only did I forget for moment that I?m TRYING to stop drinking, but it hit me like a ton of bricks how lonely I am and how much I miss all those that I love.
Yeah, yeah, I?m the same guy who told you that I found this stupid book and holly SH**, I haven?t drank for 4 days, good for me. That book did say that there will be HARD moments, but I had no idea it would be SO F****** HARD. but ya know, what good is being sober when life hurts so bad? At least when I was drunk I wasn?t feeling all this pain. And I slept once in a while too. I don?t miss the wine, I miss my loved ones.
So, my dear friends at MWO, I?m really wondering what?s so good about NOT drinking? Ya know?

[Karl1981]

this is too hard

hey there, i have asked myself the same question so many times, and well the only thing i can think of is. Its nice to be incontrol of myself!

Buddy you seem to be going through a ruff time. But things can only get better RIGHT?

Life is hard, i also drink when things get tuff. its too hard to deal with it with out drinking. im in the same spot as you are. maybe after time we can learn to deal with the ups and downs of life with out our crutchs 'drinking'...

maybe you can call your lady when your feeling down? arre you still together?
If not were always here. to lend an ear and to be your friend and support..

Its Fucking hard to stop drinking. but i think its going to be worth it for all of us to give it our best shot. and if we fail to pick your self up and start again..

And your Not a Pain in the Butt. shit you should read some of the crap i write when im drinking in my other threads. hehehehe

chin up buddy.

[startingover]

this is too hard

Hey Joe, the first days are the toughest anyway and coupled with that you are on your own. It is hard, but for me, now that I am sober, I can face my demons and that gives them less power. So mine can be boredom, loneliness, worthlessness, insecurity and fear and sometimes all of those together. If I am drinking they all seem so much worse. If i am sober I can be realistic about changing things and generally feeling better.
Anyway, you say you didn't feel the pain when drunk I bet you did when you woke up the next day. I have learnt that I just cannot bury my pain any more.
I feel properly happy these days when drinking it was a fake happiness at best and suicidal depression at worst.
For me, it just ain't worth it.
I wish you well my friend

[newjoe]

this is too hard

thank you, you guys. yes,we're still togerther, i see them on weekends. I wonder about the wisdom of trying to stop drinking now, why now? if i ever needed a crutch, it's now...

[cmhguy3]

this is too hard

Hey Joe,

Hang tough, you are making changes that stir up a lot of emotions! I agree with StartingOver, the pain may get masked while drinking but are you not going to feel even worse the next day? WHen you get the urge go for a walk, get out of the house, a body in motion stays in motion. You need to occupy your mind to get thru this! YOU CAN DO IT! Keep the faith!

Guy

[startingover]

this is too hard

It is probably never really a good time to stop.
You will know when the time is right for you. Have you tried any of the tools? Or diversion tactics ?

[Chelle12]

this is too hard

Hi!
What's so good about not drinking? Pretty much everything, I guess... alcohol is a depressant, so we're always going to feel so much worse while drinking.
Can TOTALLY understand you missing your lady... Hey, when my partner leaves for work in the morning, Im pining for him until he comes back in the evening..even though he texts regularly throughout the day.

Four days without a drink is fantastic. Its something I've yet to achieve, so dont knock yourself.
Stay strong,
Stay with Us,
Best Wishes to you
C

[Karl1981]

this is too hard

thats good that your still together..

Yeah i know i need a Crutch now too, after coming out of a break up. but well ive been sober for 2 days now, and have been sober for 120 day previously. and all i can say is that my mind frame last time was totally different. and well its a little easyer to deal with it when im thinking clearly. yes its on my mind 24/7 but i dont get as depressed when sober.

it takes time for the brain to come to terms with things and drinking will just make it harder for you in the long run..

keep being AF and go from there hey? ur on this site for a reason right? because you feel you are addicted to drinking, or drink to much..

karl

[kriger]

this is too hard

Joe,
Some on this site have found it helpful to make a list of all the reasons you want to quit. Keep those somewhere close so you can look at it in these tough times. Just a thought...it IS a tough battle, no doubt. I can say, it gets easier the longer you go without AL. Kriger Day 25

[tlrgs]

this is too hard

whats good about not drinking is .. yes its hard at times but i can think with a clear head ..and what i see around me i now know i can change..if just only for me .. stay strong and think positive

[bloggy]

this is too hard

I do feel for you NewJoe, it must be doubly hard because you're alone.

There are so many good things about stopping drinking- and let's face it you have to stop one day, or else it is likely to kill you, so it may as well be now before things get much worse.

Some momentuos (Is that even a word???) things that happen when you stop drinking-

You wake up and actually feel like getting up.
You can remember every detail from the night before.
You do not have to stand for 10 minutes dry heaving in the shower praying at the same time that you don't collapse.
After a few days you start to notice things you have not noticed for years- children playing, beautiful gardens, a passerby smiling at you, a friendly shopkeeper- I never saw any of this when i was drinking- now every day I am seeing these things as though for the first time.

It is hard- but when you feel those cravings hit- just remember it is not really you- YOU actually do not want to keep poisoning yourself- it is just your addiction.

Think how nice it will be when you meet up with your family once a week and they see you with bright eyes, healthy skin and generally looking good. (My eyes are quite white again today instead of being a yellowish red). they must have noticed your drinking was getting out of hand, and they will be thrilled. We put our loved ones through an awful lot with this, even if if they don't say too much.

Hang on in there Joe- it gets easier. The cravings will go on for a while but it is just the beast dying off- that's all.

[gyco]

this is too hard

hi joe,maybe thats one of the reasons people stay away or have left,maybe they want you to get a grip,its noot only you that suffers the people around you care but have no idea how to treat you,whats nc about not is you get alot of what you lost back,and you also remember to come here and talk to us who are tryin to do the same as you,quitting is tough ive been both sides of the fence lately,keep workin at it were all here 4 you gyco

[newjoe]

this is too hard

thank you all so much, yes I'm here (in MWO) and I'm staying.... you did it now.....

[Popeye]

this is too hard

Hey Joe,

You keep on posting.
The reason that we are all here is to help and be helped.
Life can be very tough, but there is always....always light at the end of the tunnel.
Take care.

[LookingToGrow]

this is too hard

Glad you're staying Joe!