I am just so sad. After another stupid night where I got drunk I woke up this morning, my husband and the love of my life told me he just can't do this anymore, that I have broken his heart, that he doesn't feel like he can trust me anymore, that I care more about drinking than I care about his feelings. That this feels more like abuse than love. Since I grew up with an alcoholic father, you'd think I would have learned what it means to do this to somebody. I am just so full of self-loathing, which is why I drink. Drinking turned me from a really pretty, super smart, successful young woman into a person I hardly recognize anymore: depressed, near-obese, with a sallow face and interest in doing not much more than pushing through the days so that at night I can sit and watch the same Law and Order re-runs over and over until I pass out. Of course this is not a life my husband wants to live! I hate this life! I want to give both of us the life we deserve. We are good people. I need help. A long time ago - before my drinking really got out of hand - I went to some AA meeting for adult children of alcoholics. There was just something too creepy about the whole thing. Then I saw something about MWO when I was googling "drinking help". I read the book, and here I am. What next?
Thank you to anybody who has some suggestions.
Thats all just my opinion though.
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