new - needing encouragement

[A Work in Progress]

new - needing encouragement

p.s. re-read Liv's post to you!!! And don't just READ it... do what she suggests! Again, this is about ACTION, not just thinking... here is part of what she said:

CHALLENGE #3 - Forget everything you "thought" you knew about stopping drinking. Be open and willing to see the failures of the past as lessons learned, but not the past repeating it's self. If we focus on why the AF days you had in the past "ended up right where you left off" .... then you will feel defeated and hopeless that you will just keep hitting "repeat". This is ALL NEW. You are going to learn HOW to deal with the stresses that kept you numbing the evenings away. You are going to discover the possibilities of who you can BE now. You are going to be open and ready to begin a life that you never thought possible! So Challenge # 3 .... Write your "breaking up" letter to AL (alcohol). Put it someplace safe and everytime he tries to weasel his way back into your life -- re-read it. Your relationships with those you really love will grow in amazing ways once you stop this love affair with Alcohol.

[Sunbeam]

new - needing encouragement

I made a list of all the things I hated about drinking: how awful I felt, how enbarassed I felt in AL situations, how much time I wasted with AL, how it was eating away at my good health, all the things I wanted to accomplish and could only accomplish without AL. I re-read that list at those moments, and at other times when I run accross it in my computer files. I wrote in in January, re-read it yesterday most recently. It definitely gives me strength to not give in.

[cymru]

new - needing encouragement

Wise words wip. Wrote them down to look over in future times of difficulty. Thanks

[SAUSAGE]

new - needing encouragement

Thanks everyone
Some very helpful posts and wise words were sent to me tonight. They've really helped and I've successfully made it through another evening AF (have had dinner and desert and know I won't drink now)
I very very very very nearly caved in tonight and had a glass of wine but it was your comments that kept me going. When I hit day 8 tomorrow this will be the 2nd longest time i've ever been AF ( I know I did 108 days earlier this yr Jan- May, but since May I've been pathetic and have'nt been able to achieve more than 7 days - always given in on the 7th day - tonight was the 7the day?!?!)

I've also made lots of little notes in a note book to inspire me when times are tough

My 4 yr old starts school tomorrow for 1st time - this in itself is a huge incentive to live a sober healthier life. I read somewhere that quite a high percentage of mothers drop their kids off at the school gate hungover in a morning (drinking among mothers of young children is becoming quite a problem in UK). I don't ever want to be one of those.

Thanks again everyone for your support

[A Work in Progress]

new - needing encouragement

Good for you, Sausage!

wip

[SAUSAGE]

new - needing encouragement

Hi everyone - still AF - Day 9 now
Last night was OK yesterday as I was out at a friends and couldn't drink as I had to drive there - just had tea and fruit juice - no-one expected me to drink as I had my car with me.
Tonight I'm at home so it could be harder again!
Will check in later

[boozehag]

new - needing encouragement

Hi Sausage
Well done so far - you are doing great. Are you taking any of the supplements? They should hep with your mood - load up on them I would say. Also exercise too so that you feel good. With regard to your question what to do when the "horror" wears off - personally I just have to think back to that last morning after and almost 6 months later the horror is still very fresh in my mind and acts as a big deterrent. I sooo dont want to ever go back there. I didnt even say goodbye to my children when they went to school as I was out for the count after a big session the night before. I didnt know whether I was supposed to pick them up after school or not when I finally dragged my sorry arse out of bed. Maybe you were not that bad or you probably stopped before it got to that stage but believe me and others on here - it only gets worse not better and if you can get a grip on it now that will be such a major achievement. Beating an addiction has got to up there with climbing mount everest in terms of achievement. And you can do it. I also think it helps to try the to feel every day when you wake without a hangover or without guilt or anxiety or whatever that it is a gift - that you really think about it and feel it and that should get you in a positive mood for the day. In other words try to look at what you have achieve positively so that you have the incentive to continue. Think like the winner that you are. Check out some of boss mans posts he has some interesting information on serotonin levels that might help you.
BH

[savon19]

new - needing encouragement

:goodjob:

NINE DAYS is TRULY AWESOME!! (Worthy of CAPITAL LETTERS!! LOL!)

:thumbs::yay::day5::applaud:

[SAUSAGE]

new - needing encouragement

Hi - Thanks for the support everyone
Boozehag - no I'm not on any medication / supplements at all - reluctant to take anything. I was actually on antidpressants earlier in the year but am off those now too.
My problem is I was never that bad - but getting there . was only on a large glass wine / day about 2.5 yrs ago but over the last couple of years because of post natal depression, hysterectomy and other issues / excuses, steadily went up to a bottle a night and still wanting more. Didn't feel too bad next morning ( just dehydrated) as I drank it over 3 or 4 hrs with plenty of water. However I reckon I would have steadily got worse and worse until it would have wrecked my life /health if I hadn't tried to do something about it. I never crave alcohol til the evening (not sure why that is but I know it's a common thing) and i'm still really struggling. I keep thinking "why can't I just have the odd glass - surely that's OK but I know i'd be right back at square one if I did this - managed 108 AF free days earlier in yr and then a friend pursuaded me just to have the one glass and that was it . Within a week I was back to 40-50 units of wine.
Hope I can keep going - this is the second longest I've ever gone AF but i'ts not easy Since May 08 when I ended my AF free run I've only managed a max of 7 days in a row and then gave up.
Thanks everyone again for your support - i'd like to say after day 9 it's getting easier but I can't say it is - i'm still so tempted "just to have the one"

[LVT25]

new - needing encouragement

Hi Sausage--

You're doing great! I was just curious, why are you reluctant to take any supplements? I believe they are one of the key tools that make this program work. Have you read the book? Started exercising? If you're like me at first I was soooo tired alot of the time, but it really helps to get up and move! If you haven't yet, do read My Way Out. think of this as a journey, and a new, better way of life!:h

[A Work in Progress]

new - needing encouragement

Sausage, you are doing good. And, I can see that you are struggling and conflicted.

A suggestion: if you continue to allow yourself to think of alcohol as a good thing that you are being deprived of... you will inevitably start drinking again. This truly is a mind game, and making the mental adjustments requires mental work, which we are not accustomed to doing. By that I mean, monitoring our thoughts, our thinking patterns. When we see our minds engaged in the kind of thinking you describe (and I believe we all do this): "I'll have just one and that would be nice!" then we have to step firmly into the train of thought and think it through, step by step, to the eventual consequences of that one drink, and re-visit in our own minds what it was that we wanted to leave behind. And cut off the arguments that arise: "blah blah blah well maybe I'll be fine blah blah blah other people can drink moderately blah blah blah.... " Once my mind has tricked me into engaging in that mental argument... then eventually it will wear me down. Only I can shut down the arguments, much like a parent shuts down the bickering of children.

wip

[SAUSAGE]

new - needing encouragement

wip
That last post helped a lot - you are right I am "struggling and conflicted" I don't know what I want.
LVT25 - I do intend to read the book - one worrying thought though is that Roberta Jewell learned to moderate in the end didn't she? and I'm not sure I'm capable of doing that. I've read the Allen Carr book which teaches you that there are no benfits from alchol whatsoever and the only way to control alcohol is not to drink it.
REgarding supplements - it's just that i'd got on the waggon so to speak before I'd had chance to really research them which I want to do before I swallow anything. Also because i did 108 days (admittedly I ended up failing after that !?! ) without any supplements, a bit of me thinks I should be able to do it again.
Anyway I've a lot to sort out in my mind - think I'll go swimming again at my danger time and I'll check back in later
Bye for now !

[cymru]

new - needing encouragement

Here here wip. Very helpfull. Thanks

[SAUSAGE]

new - needing encouragement

Still AF but by sheer willpower - not enjoying it

Hi everyone

Well i'm now on day 11 and still AF but not really enjoying it. That sounds a silly thing to say given that I do defninitely feel healthier and have even lost a little weight. And I do think the cravings around the witching hour are getting slightly less - it's hard to tell really - may be i'm just getting used to my new Af routine

Apologies for those who're also reading the week beginning 08/09/08 30 day AF thread - as i've posed the same question ( but i'm getting quite a lot of different people corresponding on the 2 different threads and I appreciate all your viewpoints.
Yes I'm still Af but it's through sheer will power - I don't enjoy my evenings like I used to when I was drinking wine. People keep telling me "life is so much better without Alcohol" but I haven't seen this yet. I know it's early days and there are a lot of issues to resolve in my mind as to why I would even want a drink, what benefits was I getting from it etc but for those of you that are 90 + days sober - when does it start to get easier from an enjoyment point of view? Yes I do have the determination to hang on AF a little longer but I can't say i'm enjoying my AF life

[stepintime]

new - needing encouragement

Ah sausage, it sucks doesnt it. I neither, can see any benefit in abstaining. I don't enjoy my evenings anymore either! It's as tho there is nothing to look forward to. I know it absolutely has to be better not drinking, but until I see it, I can't see it happening.
Oh, and no dis-respect, but I get so fed up of those, who's only answer is...download the book...and take the supps. .... you know who you are, and it's SO boring, and un imaginative. Keep trying sausage, I for one learn from you.
XxX