Feeling really good this morning. Dumped out what was left of any wine or beer in the house. My husband and I are both quitting today. I told him I wanted to do the 30 days AF with help on this site. He said let's shoot for 60! Yay!
I have to admit though, I'm really scared. I've come to really look forward to getting drunk every night, despite how crappy I feel the next day. And despite how much I miss out on with my kids. I still can't believe I let myself turn into this. I didn't really start drinking heavily until after I had kids. I'm just so stressed out all the time juggling my career, motherhood, finances, after school activities with kids, it just takes it's toll. So now, instead of drinking myself to sleep every night, i'm just going to go to bed the same time as kids. Hopefully that will help....
So, I found a poem I wrote about my dad when I was 15 years old. I thought it quite ironic that I'm now struggling myself. I never want my kids to grow up praying to God that their parents weren't drunk every night!!
"It"
It made him happy,
then made him sad.
It was dark and mysterious,
yet sometimes very bright.
It called his name every day,
controlled his every action.
It was his whole life,
his reason to live.
It was his love, his passion, his security,
his best friend.
But, it deceived him.
It gave his Diabetes.
It took away his family.
It filled him with lies, anger, frustration.
But his must still have faith in it,
because he buys a new bottle of It everyday.
My dad died of heart disease a few years after I wrote this, at age 51. If that isn't one of the biggest reasons for me to quit, I don't know what is?!
Have a great day everyone!
I have to admit though, I'm really scared. I've come to really look forward to getting drunk every night, despite how crappy I feel the next day. And despite how much I miss out on with my kids. I still can't believe I let myself turn into this. I didn't really start drinking heavily until after I had kids. I'm just so stressed out all the time juggling my career, motherhood, finances, after school activities with kids, it just takes it's toll. So now, instead of drinking myself to sleep every night, i'm just going to go to bed the same time as kids. Hopefully that will help....
So, I found a poem I wrote about my dad when I was 15 years old. I thought it quite ironic that I'm now struggling myself. I never want my kids to grow up praying to God that their parents weren't drunk every night!!
"It"
It made him happy,
then made him sad.
It was dark and mysterious,
yet sometimes very bright.
It called his name every day,
controlled his every action.
It was his whole life,
his reason to live.
It was his love, his passion, his security,
his best friend.
But, it deceived him.
It gave his Diabetes.
It took away his family.
It filled him with lies, anger, frustration.
But his must still have faith in it,
because he buys a new bottle of It everyday.
My dad died of heart disease a few years after I wrote this, at age 51. If that isn't one of the biggest reasons for me to quit, I don't know what is?!
Have a great day everyone!
ray:
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