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I never want to see myself drunk again

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    I never want to see myself drunk again

    I started this journey last month and although I am not totally AF I am doing well. I was doing a little sole searching last night. Thinking back and picturing what I must have looked like drunk, to my son. What he must have thought. How confusing it must have been for him growing up. I am so ashamed.

    But now, I remember saying goodnight. Goodnight kiss. Look him in the eyes...tell him I love him, and know that he is not "seeing" me drunk anymore.

    So to all the newbies with kids such as myself....Keep Trying!! It is so worth it
    :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

    #2
    I never want to see myself drunk again

    Great post AK Girl! You sound terrific and I'm sure your son is loving every minute of your sobriety!

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


    One day at a time.

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      #3
      I never want to see myself drunk again

      Great post akgirl, that's what it's all about.
      "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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        #4
        I never want to see myself drunk again

        :goodjob: Akgirl!

        Priceless!

        :lNancy
        "Be still and know that I am God"

        Psalm 46:10

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          #5
          I never want to see myself drunk again

          Ditto's from here! I wish I could take back everytime one of my kids saw me in that scary, awful, out of control state, I know they were scared, they've told me now as adults, and will again anytime....so, if you can stop it before they are bigger, and remember, it is sooooooo, sooooooooo, much better!
          "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"

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            #6
            I never want to see myself drunk again

            AKgirl, thanks for posting. Alot of what you stated is what motivates many. Thanks for the courage to post and share
            :l
            LTG AF January 13, 2011

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              #7
              I never want to see myself drunk again

              AK,
              My youngest and still living at home is 21 yo. I can see more respect in his eyes when he looks at me; that means more to me than all the tea in China!!! I love that boy and I know he is sick and tired of being the "parent" in our household. We may never get Mr Kriger off the sauce but I can only be responsible for my own actions. I know my son is proud of me; I am proud of myself. Kriger
              "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                #8
                I never want to see myself drunk again

                [QUOTE=kriger;399918]AK,
                I can see more respect in his eyes when he looks at me

                So very true and means so much.

                Thank you all for your kind words. I do try to post my feelings hoping it will help others.

                I think all of us with children fool ourselves into thinking they are not aware, but deep down we know differently. Especially as they get older. All of us parents struggling, please let us stay strong for our kids.
                :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

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                  #9
                  I never want to see myself drunk again

                  Ak, the best moment in my non-drinking life was when my daughter hugged me and told me she really loved me and was proud of how hard I was trying to change for our family. NOTHING holds a candle to your childs pride in you as a parent...NOTHING. You are doing very well...keep on keeping on girl!
                  Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

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                    #10
                    I never want to see myself drunk again

                    Ak, Thanks for posting that
                    Im on Day 3 AF and my son needed his eczema seeing to this morning (needed cream, and a bandage on his toes cos they were all cracked) and I had no hangover and was able to concentrate properly on what I was doing, with no shakes and also able to talk sympathetically rather than a hungover 'grunt'..
                    It was a good feeling
                    ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?

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                      #11
                      I never want to see myself drunk again

                      Lets do it for our kids

                      Yaaaay Chelle!!!!

                      Good for you, feels great doesn't it?
                      :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

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                        #12
                        I never want to see myself drunk again

                        excellent post! I have a handful of memories of my kids (age 3 & 6) giving me kisses and sympathy of "I hope you feel better mommy..." or "Oh, mommy doesn't feel good" as my husband has ushered them off to bed...as I'm passed out in bed or lying on the bathroom floor. There is nothing that makes me feel so guilty as that! And nothing feels as good as lying down in bed at night, sober, and remembering your goodnight kisses and stories to your kids.

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                          #13
                          I never want to see myself drunk again

                          Thank you Britt,

                          You are so right. My sons love for me is priceless.
                          :flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.

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                            #14
                            I never want to see myself drunk again

                            Good job Alaska and you, too, Kriger. You've inspired me! I have to say that this summer was the best for me on record. My youngest daughter, now 20, was home for the summer from college. She definitely saw a difference and we connected like never before. She's called many times from school and the warmth in her voice comes through in spades. Let's all just keep these good feelings in mind when the drinking brain tries it's little siren song!

                            Vera-b

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