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    HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

    I am trying desperately to stay sober. I started drinking again after 40 days or so AF, and it quickly got sickening. I know that I am totally insane: I drank because my mortgage is in default and my jobs sucks, but guess what, it is because of alcohol that I am in this position in the first place. Anyway, to get to the point. I am day 2AF and I called my friend to see if she would go to a meeting with me (AA). I come to find out that she has been in the hospital due to an overdose on pills. She said that she would come to the meeting with me. I assumed that she wanted to get sober again. When I just called her, she recommended that we buy coffee at Dunkin's and pick up some AL and put it in the coffee, and go to the meeting. I was shocked!!!! When I told her that I would not drink and go to a meeting, and that I already felt like crap, and didn't want to drink; She said she would still go with me and not drink. I don't know what to do. I don't want to deny her a ride to a meeting which very well may help her, but I don't want to pick her up if she is going to try to encourage me to drink. I know I smelled AL on her before at a meeting. Please Help. I am supposed to pick her up soon. Thank u so much
    "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

    #2
    HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

    Sea,

    You definitely do not want to put yourself at risk.

    If she goes with you and has been drinking but not in front of you, is that an issue?

    I know I find it hard to be around those who are drinking sometimes. It makes my stinkin' thinkin' thrive!! Why them and not me?? Boo Hoo.

    I would do what you think is best.

    It sure sounds like your friend does need some serious help, though.

    Good luck and lots of love,
    Cindi
    AF April 9, 2016

    Comment


      #3
      HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

      Ahh, SC, I think you are going to want to stay well away from that girl! Sad... but she's not going to help you, she isn't helping herself, and she isn't being honest. She's going to have to find her own way, and AA can't help her (nor can you) till she starts getting honest... And in order to find YOUR own way, seems to me you will have to be very careful about this stuff...

      best wishes,

      wip

      Comment


        #4
        HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

        Thank you all. I knew that you would come through for me. I just called her and told her that when she was serious about getting sober, that I would be happy to pick her up. I told her that I wish her all the best, and I hope to hear from her soon. Thank u again. It is good to be back. I am seriously considering getting the topamax. I know that I can't use antabuse because I am a Nurse, and have to touch AL all of the time. I have the book. I will order the Kudzu. I need more L-Glut. I could only find it in tablet form at Walmart, but I will look elsewhere. I am also going to get the Gaba and 5htp, because anxiety often leads me to drinking. Back in the Fight!!!
        "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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          #5
          HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

          Good for you Sea!

          Comment


            #6
            HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

            Good Job, Sea!! You did the right thing, for both of you! It also sounds like you have a plan for your sobriety......again....good for you!!

            There are more than enough people all around us that enjoy enabling our drinking. Drinkers are way more comfortable being around other drinkers. So, keep your bounderies strong, stick to others who are on the same path as you are.....it really helps! We are here for you!

            Best Wishes,
            Kate
            A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

            AF 12/6/2007

            Comment


              #7
              HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

              Go to the meeting alone if need be.You will find new friends there that want to get sober and will support your efforts.Maybe after you have more AF time you will feel like you can invite your old friend and see if she is ready for help.Nothing is so bad that a drink won't make it worst.You are the one that has to come first...others can follow later,if they want...
              sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

              Comment


                #8
                HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

                Way to go Sea!

                Way to go Sea!

                I know that must have been tough to stick up for yourself, but I am so glad you did.

                Keep it up. Wishing you continued strength.

                -Figi

                Comment


                  #9
                  HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

                  good job sea and glad you came back girl just get back on that bull of life and ride baby ride ..
                  stay strong and think positive
                  :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                  best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

                  Comment


                    #10
                    HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

                    Hi Sea,

                    So glad to hear from you. Wow. I know it's been tough with the house and the job situation which are just the kind of jarring events that AL screams for. But you caught yourself, took command and have come back fighting. You were kind yet firm with your friend. I truly hope you've inspired her to come to grips with the old demon. And if not, at least you've protected your own health. Good for you for not staying down with that bottom feeder AL. You are one strong lady.

                    Vera-b

                    Comment


                      #11
                      HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

                      Hi Sea, I am glad you came back, I was wondering if you were OK.
                      You did the right thing with your friend and you are doing the right thing fo ryou IMO
                      Stay close x
                      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                      Comment


                        #12
                        HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

                        Hi Sea,

                        Yes I too was wondering how you were - we've missed you on the Newbies thread.

                        Well done on 40 days AF!!

                        I took Topa for 3 months and I haven't looked back. I know it's not everyones cup of tea taking a anti-seizure med but I had great sucess with it and hardly any side effects other than tingling feet which was a bit freeky but didn't harm me at all.

                        You were quite right in letting your friend know that you will give her a lift to AA once she is serious about quitting - you need to take care of yourself first.

                        Thinking of you!
                        "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                        Comment


                          #13
                          HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

                          I hope and pray you and this other soul finds comfort and words of comfort from those qualified.

                          The different means of expression of this place have different ideas and ideals.

                          May you find what help and brings relief.
                          :notes:Theme2be

                          " Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them~everyday begin the task anew".-Saint Francis de Sales

                          Comment


                            #14
                            HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

                            Sea, I've said it before and I'm saying it again. You are an inspiration to me! You never give up, you continue to try and I so admire that. You surely are one tough cookie! I wish I could help in some way, I truly do. :h
                            You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

                            Comment


                              #15
                              HAVE A REAL DILEMMA

                              Grrrr.....Second time today that I posted a long reply and got booted. Should I be getting a message? lol. Thank u for the warm welcome back, and the help with my dilemma last night. She left me four voicemails, and I do feel bad. She said that she thought that we were going to support each other. What she does not see is how she is not supporting me by encouraging me to drink. I am considering calling her as I plan to go to a meeting tonight. If she stays sober, I will pick her up. I just hope I can trust her. I have smelled booze on her at a meeting before. As for me, I am 3 days AF. I am considering taking the Topa. I will have to do it without a doc though. I am reading the book again, and I will pick up the supps that I lack right now, and of course, I will stay close to you guys. Thanks again.
                              "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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