How do you do it?

[newjoe]

I find it impossible to sit in this small, empty apartment and not drink. I thought I had it licked last week when I went 6 days without drinking. Then I went to my other rented home in the mountains. That?s in the town where my daughter and her mom, and my lady and her son lives. I work here during the week and go see my family on weekends. But no way could I sit next to my g/f and watch her drink her wine and not have some myself.
So I went 6 days without drinking and I spent the last 5 nights drinking. I found that ?comfortably numb? works for me, for now. So here, the loneliness, the hurt of being so far away from all that I love, and life in general is taking its toll and I feel another ?comfortably numb? night coming on.
I don?t know what to do. I don?t know how to break the cycle. And I know I?d hate myself if I drank tonight and I don?t have the will power to sit here and watch this stupid TV and not drink.
I wonder how you all at MWO do it. I see your posts that say you?re on day 15, 30 or 60 or whatever, of being A/F. How do you do it?

[Rusty-576]

How do you do it?

hi new joe why not come into chat there is usually someone there for infomation and for support. Rusty

[CS04]

How do you do it?

New Joe, if you're there, I am in chat. Please join! It's quiet right now

[newjoe]

How do you do it?

Oh Geeze, I tried to join the chat and this stupid lap-top won't let me. It's a loaner from work and thay have all kinds of stupid safe gards on it.. but I'll keep on trying..wish me luck...

[startingover]

How do you do it?

Hi Joe, my heart went out to you when I read your post.
I don't know how I did it this time and not before. I think maybe it was "my time". I can honestly say though before I gave up al I was SO low. I thought I couldn;t feel any lower so might as well try something.
It was hard, the first days I wondered if it was helping my depression but it was. I am SUCH a different person than I was 8 weeks ago. I have discovered things about myself that I never new. I even like myself now and I didn't before. I was lonely in many ways but too afraid to reach out and find friends. The drinking robbed me of my self esteem, confidence and so much more but it did take a few days before I realised it was the drink doing that and not all my fault.
I really hope you begin to feel more positive soon Joe.

[Karl1981]

How do you do it?

Joe.

i kinda understand where your coming from. i lost my girlfriend the same time i was giving up drinking. and still every night i want to have a drink to numb the pain.

and what i have found is when i do start drinking the pain becomes worse. constantly think of it, sit here sad and numb. true im numb. but so very sad and depressed, id sit here for hours on end drinking bottles of wine thinking, what if, ect. all i really acheived is major pain in the morning and a floor filled with tissues..

although when i sober. im still thinking about it all but not so depressed.
try it.

its hard to get away from your thoughts. just seems like when i drink there 100 times bigger!

Hope you kinda understand..

give af a go again. and go from there?

well all be here to support you..
just be care full of Starting over. shes a stalker(personal joke). hehehehehe but shes one of the most kind people i will ever meet...

wish you all the best Joe

Karl

[boozehag]

How do you do it?

Hi newjoe
I found that taking the supplements especially L-glut and Kudzu and changing my habits around triger times was the key thing that helped me in those first 30 days. Others found the CD's helpful. I never stayed still for long enough for the AL to find me. It doesnt sound like a good idea to sit in the apartment and think about it. What about joining a gymn or a leisure centre or even just walking at that time. Going to the movies maybe? Coming onto chat is also good. I think you just have to be prepared to throw everything at it one day at a time at least to get the ball rolling. Once you get the days rolling it gets easier and apparently it only takes about 21 days to change a habit.
BH

[A Work in Progress]

How do you do it?

I agree with BH, you have to change a LOT of your behaviors in order to stop doing the same old thing you have been doing. It's hard, but it is very do-able if you really want to stop the drinking. This MWO program is very helpful; try it and see how it works for you. Have you read the MWO book?

wip

[Peanut]

How do you do it?

Throw out your TV - get your runners on - go outside - do something! I think that's the only way you will break the cycle - seems to me you are drinking out of boredom too???

[newjoe]

How do you do it?

yep, you are all great. I can't thank you enough for your support. wish me luck...

[startingover]

How do you do it?

GOOD LUCK JOE :l
Stay close to the boards, it helps mate

[startingover]

How do you do it?

Oh yeah, and you can ignore Karl, I am not a stalker .......much :H

[savon19]

How do you do it?

I have to force myself (as often as possible!) to think of the positives in my life. Instead of focusing on the negative (leading to drink...).

I see a couple things right off the top:

1/ you have people you love and who love you (many don't!)

2/ you have a job (many don't!!)

I'm sure it must be hard to be away from your loved ones, though. I live alone and have a love-hate thing with TV. It's comforting sometimes, but I'm sure it keeps me from exploring this world!

Great good luck, newjoe. This site is amazing for its support and advice from people who really understand.

[WaitingToExhale]

How do you do it?

Hey Joe,

Just wanted to say I am there with you. I'm gonna make it this time. I too live alone and often wonder what to do with all the extra time I have .

We can do this. I am ramping up with mods and when the Topa finally arrives .. that's it. I am SO ready to stop being lonely and alone from my own doing.

And hey, I'm in CA too. Ever feel like a phone call, PM me.

[Schwertlilie]

How do you do it?

Hi NewJoe,

you came in here, so give yourself credit for this. You already went over days without drinking, so you can do it. Do you live in a city or in a rural area? Peanut is right, putting on runners is good. Even butting on some comfy shoes and go for a walk, you'll always come back different.

Best wishes to you from Germany!
Schwert