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    #1

    Have I lost control?

    Hi i am new here....

    I a currently going through a very stressful period on my life... I have rcently started a business at a very challanging time, have had a few relationship hiccups and am finding it hard to keep everything together.

    I have always drunk a fair bit recreationally but never had a desire to drink other than the usual binge at the weekend. I now find myself at the pub every night having a drink the second I finish work, I find it then very difficult not to go all out and have a big session.

    a couple of nights ago I found myself really craving for a strong drink but just managed to resist the urge by filling myself up with so much water i felt sick.

    I come from a family of heavy drinkers and have never seen it as a problem, however I am finding more and more that I am drinking to blot out the stresses and pressures in life, basically creating a numbness and a feling of normality.

    I want to get a hold of this before itgets serious.

    Thanks for reading and i will look forward to your comments.

    J
    Tags: None
    #2
    Have I lost control?

    First off, Welcome!

    Secondly, acknowledging the problem is a HUGE step. I am in no way a poster child (recently went 12 days AF then started drinking just a little, bt drinking nonetheless), but this place has been very helpful to me. You just need to find where you fit in. The people are wonderfully supportive. I am mostly on the ODAT thread because I am weak and need to fight this thing ODAT....

    Good luck to you - you CAN do this. Keep posting and you will feel more in control. Really.
    "All that we are is a result of what we have thought" Buddah:heart:

    Comment

      #3
      Have I lost control?

      thank you for your response....

      I just feel like I am losing a grip on it a little and just need some advice on how to regain the control i had. This is only a recent thing for me but I can see myself slipping very quickly...

      Comment

        #4
        Have I lost control?

        It is a slippery slope j. I have to keep myself really busy and simply change my habits. No more pouring a glass right when I get home and start cooking dinner. Instead I fill my goblet up with ice water with lemon. And keep filling it up. By the time dinner is cooked, eaten and cleaned up, I have other things I need to do...then it is too late to drink! It does not always work, especially on the weekends, but the supplements have helped and I downloaded RJ's book which I read often. I also have come to the conclusion that I simply have a big problem with alcohol. Simple as that. Coming here helps so much, but you really need to understand yourself first. I know that I came here looking for a magical cure and found myself disappointed alot - feeling like I didn't fit in, that nobody really gives a rats ass about me...and it was in my own head. I just needed to suck it up - who cares if no one replies to my posts? I get so much out of just reading others that it all seems to balance out. A nice anti depressant may help me too..lol. AL is a beast and when you are trying to rid yourself of it, it messes with your mind and makes you think stupid, ridiculous thoughts. Although posting and talking to others helps alot, you can also find yourself relying too much on others. It is up to us. WE need to stop this ourselves. Sharing is wonderful and the people are wonderful, but at the end of the day, we are responsible for our own actions. That is a difficult pill to swallow sometimes.
        "All that we are is a result of what we have thought" Buddah:heart:

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          #5
          Have I lost control?

          Hi j2008,
          If you can get control of this now, rather than it getting control of you - great!!!!
          I agree totally with KBCE - you really have to look at yourself and understand where you are coming from. I broke down and drank some wine last night - silly girl - but have lately simply admitted to myself that.... gulp....hmmmm....well.....maybe I'm...... an.... alcoholic???? I said this to my BF last night, and he says "of course you are, and I love you anyway". Realize who you are, what the problem is, and that maybe you need help and support and with some will and determination (and the tools from this program) I believe you can get control of it. I haven't stopped drinking completely - I don't think I ever planned to, but wow - I don't drink a quarter as much as I used to, and I try not to beat myself up for having some wine every few days, as long as I am not drinking a litre every night!!!!!
          So read the book and the posts - it will give you some incentive!!
          Best to you! We are here for you!
          Peanut

          Comment

            #6
            Have I lost control?

            Have you lost control? Only you can answer that... the traditional "test," or way to find out, is to set a very firm limit, like "no more than two drinks a day, on no more than 3 days a week, for 30 days (or more)." That is a test in "being in control." If you can't do it, then you will want to see what kind of excuses or "reasons why" that your mind easily comes up with... and realize that, probably, your mind is heavily invested in defending the consumption of alcohol. And that IS a problem. This program can help with that problem.

            wip

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              #7
              Have I lost control?

              :welcome: j.

              I want to commend you for looking into this for yourself. I highly recommend reading the book, and then you will see if this program is for you. It has helped a lot of people, me included, however I'm not "there" yet.
              _______________
              NF since June 1, 2008
              AF since September 28, 2008
              DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
              _____________
              :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
              5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
              _______________
              The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

              Comment

                #8
                Have I lost control?

                Thank you so much for your kind comments people.... I have had a look around this site and have seen some really inspiring stories... I will of course keep you all updated on my journey in to finding out how much of a handle I have on things... I think the suggestion by a work in proegress is a great idea, I will keep you posted on how it goes...

                Best of luck to all of you...

                J

                Comment

                  #9
                  Have I lost control?

                  Welcome and GOOD LUCK!
                  "I've done it. I don't need to drink anymore. I'm free!"-Jason Vale

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Have I lost control?

                    j'08 ~
                    The best way to sort it all out is to commit to stopping drinking for 30 days. This will give AL tome to leave your body and for some clear days ahead to sort through the thoughts.

                    I started a new business a couple of years ago - and that's when my drinking jumped to a new all time record. The stresses were beyond what I could handle. I dealt with it by drinking. I couldn't deal with the stress. But it also brought me to the conclusion that I HAD to stop once and for all. My life was going to go right down the drain, along with my new business if I didn't get a grip.

                    I started on this forum last January with the intention of "learning to moderate". But the advice I received from some great people here was to spend 30 days Alcohol free. After my first 30 days, I was so motivated to continue, I have not drank since - and plan on living the rest of my life Free of all alcohol.

                    So - give it a try. 30 days. You can do it. If I can ... ANYONE can! ... Seriously!
                    AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


                    Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


                    (from the Movie "Once")

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Have I lost control?

                      I'm not sure if I would say there is such a thing as "controlled drinking". We drink in order to "lose control" if only in a small way.

                      There are a hundred words, like Alcoholic, and Alcohol dependency, none of which have a precise meaning or can be applied to all people. I don't like to go there, or define myself or anyone else.

                      They key to me is to count the hours each day for a week that you spend drinking, and also "recovering" from drinking. Then sit down and say; "is that how I want to spend each week for the next 10 years?" The past is behind us so this is all about the future.

                      I too have a business, and this is a very stressful time to have to keep a venture afloat with an unsteady economy and changing consumer spending patterns. As with most business people, if my business fails, the associated debt would most likely mean I would lose my family house, which would have a profound effect on my marriage and my home life. That's a lot of pressure.

                      Alcohol makes an easy stress reliever. But for me, it turned into a bad situation. For every hour of "feeling good" I would have to pay another two hours for lost sleep (alcohol really changed my sleep patterns) and also for morning recovery. And after 25 years, I did a lot more than just have two stiff drinks the moment I got home from work. I drank steadily, very slowly, throughout the evening, but also as I slept I added in a little nightcap at 2am, and another bracer at 6am. I became an expert at maintaining a low level of alcohol in my system, by drinking on shifts, three times in every 24 hours.

                      Now that's what I call "controlled drinking". I was so in control, I knew the precise amount needed at any given hour of the day to shave down my headache and settle my sour stomach, without seriously impairing my working schedule and never missing a payroll.

                      I've read that some medical studies are specifically done on business owners, simply because they have peculiar adrenal syndromes that come from the constant stress of owning a business .

                      I'm learning new systems now. For me the "control" finally turned to the other side that said: "If I'm so in control, why do I let a liquid run my life?"

                      Welcome to the forum. There are lots of stories here. I'm sure it will help you know where you want to be.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Have I lost control?

                        Another great post Boss !!! I'm going to be watching for your posts. You are a wealth of information! Reminds me of the "early" days on MWO! Kuddos to you. Stay on this site and post everywhere! You Rock!
                        AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


                        Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


                        (from the Movie "Once")

                        Comment

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