Fed up

[KateH1]

Fed up

You know Paisley (yes! like this name much better) you mentioned that you are a "functioning alcoholic), many here, including myself have thought the same thing about ourselves! Many here hold executive level jobs, take do a great job of raising children and over all "appear" to be highly functioning, successful people........I was one of those for many years too! I never drank during the daytime, never before 7PM, I never missed work due to alcohol and most people would have looked at me and not dreamed that I was hiding a serious addiction......fast forward to 8 months as a non-drinker and I can see how disfunctional I was. I am sure there were some days, that others, clients, family, friends and colleagues could see that something wasn't right......and not so deep down in side I always really new that I was not fully functioning and loosing another piece of myself with each empty bottle.

Push ahead and give yourself the gift of 30 days without alcohol. See how you feel then, it is a great beginning!

Best of Luck to You!
Kate

[Boss.man]

Fed up

Lots of us can relate. As your body becomes accustom to daily drinking, it achieves a biological reaction that allows alcohol to be turned into sucrose, which is blood sugar. With daily dosing, you are essentially giving your body an IV drip of sugar. That means, all the food you eat gets stored in the form of fat.

In addition to the alcohol, most drinks contain significant amounts of carbohydrates. Wine contains grape sugars, beer contains sugars and malts, mixed drinks almost invariably contain corn sweetener, which is the worst sort of sugar. So at the same time as dosing with a sucrose pre-cursor (alcohol) many also drink a full day's worth of calories just in the sugar in their wine, beer and mixed drinks. Your body can handle all, but when you load it with sucrose, sugar and food, it stores quite a bit in a "handy spot" in case you need it later.

When you stop drinking for a few days, if you have this chemistry, your glucose will crash and you will be exhausted for a few days. That's one part of why people complain about "feeling low" after stopping drinking. You are low like when you skip a meal, but this is like skipping 13 meals in a row. Total lack of energy. At the same time your serotonin system goes low, which makes you depressed. Luckily these symptoms generally go away after a week or so.

A lot of people have the experience that they lose weight when they stop drinking. Their body adjusts to using food for energy, or ideally the fat that got created earlier. I have seen on this forum that some have gained weight so the effect is not universal. On my first 7 days AF I lost 5 lbs, so it was quite significant.

***

It's always a struggle to go from "I don't know if I ever could lose my liquid companion" to understanding that going through that door will lead to "the rest of your life". Enjoy the forum, and participate. The more you know about the door the more you will lose your fear of going through it.

[sami]

Fed up

Paisley.....cute name! And in response to your question about gaining weight while drinking, just let me say "OH MY GOD!" I would get so depressed about what I looked like and that I couldn't fit in any of my clothes (I used to be so cute and precious....now I feel like an obese bitch), that I would just stay home in sweats or pj's and drink more to make me feel better. How's that for smart?
You've come to the right place! I've found that in general this is a loving, accepting community of intelligent and funny people (who, btw, happen to also have or have had drinking problems!)

[gyco]

Fed up

yo,im back what a place to spend a friday hahaha,well we do ,lern im off to take my 19 year old out to have all tht fun we use to,dang isnt it great to no where hes goin,dang just kiddin but he is goin out,to have fun,maybe you dont have older kids yet,but they dohave us as models,ooops,hope i dont make you feel worse,but we all were tot well,its geetting to the undrstanding we either control it,it it humiliates us eventully,its tuff at 1st,but you will find a way,with help, US again have a great nt gyco

[gyco]

Fed up

yo and by the way i use to like full figure women,cheer leaders had no meet on there body, and paisley no matter how u look you probably look great again have great nt gyco

[rubywillow]

Fed up

A lot of us (at least me) thought we were fooling people, but I wasn't. By the time mine progressed, I was driving drunk, sometimes with people (even my grands') in the car. That is the one thing I'll never forgive myself for. And it will progress. I don't recognize myself in pictures over the last few years. During no event, occasion was I totally sober. This included the births of some of my grands, the deaths, then funerals of my parents. It WILL get worse, if you don't address it now, unless you're VERY different from me. I wish I had had this site 5-7 years ago. I wish I had known I wasn't fooling anyone, especially those closest to me, and never myself. Thank God and my husband, I'm coming out of the dark now, and I never want to go back. You don't have to be perfect, but you do have to try. The changes in store are amazing. P.S. I ain't fat, I'm fluffy!

[paisley]

Fed up

okay you guys, i am suppose to start my sobriety tomorrow and so i am at home now after getting home from a dinner with some family, having a drink by myself. i got the vodka bottle and made myself a dirty martini. i was asked to go out after dinner for drinks and dancing, however i opted to spend my last day drinking, here by myself.

i have become an EXTREME recluse unless absolutley necessary (like tonight's dinner for my cousins bday)

I mean I am drinking alone. i think this is a bandade. and as long as i am alone and not harming anyone, i subconsiously feel that i am doing some kind of good by feeling good and calm and relaxed and numb and definately not worrying about why a 27 year old woman cant seem to find the right man. Here's the thing, i am starting to get this guilt feeling that i am harming someone - me

[SAUSAGE]

Fed up

Paisley - you said in your first post that you thought alcoholism was an illness
Well I remember reading in one of the Allen Carr books (I think) about stopping drinking, an interesting analogy which may interest you and went something along the lines of;
Imagine you had been diagnosed with a life threatening illness which would eventually be terminal - however your doctor told you that to prevent it progressing fully and killing you all you had to do would be to miss out one particular ingredient from your food / drink and you would remain healthy and have a long life.
Surely you would be thrilled to learn of this cure and follow the advice immediately
would you envy someone else who was in the very early stages of this terminal disease who hadn't been diagnosed yet?

[brittzak]

Fed up

Welcome, this is a wonderful supportive place. I think many of us can relate to your story. I hope you find comfort here.

[WaitingToExhale]

Fed up

Paisley,

I just wanted to say I understand the heartbreak thing as well. I got kicked to the curb a few months ago by the man I thought I was going to marry. Real easy to bury the pain in the booze ...

But you know what? I think we will make better choices, and will attract better men when we get this poison out of our lives. And I KNOW we are gonna be lookin pretty hot too!

[WaitingToExhale]

Fed up

rubywillow;402084 wrote: A lot of us (at least me) thought we were fooling people, but I wasn't.

YEP YEP YEP ! Had myself convinced as well ...

[vera-b]

Fed up

Welcome Paisley,

Sounds like you're ready for a change, and this place is all about change - for the better. Booze becomes our cure-all - for lonliness, for celebrations, for anything and everything we think we want. But it's a dead end as you're coming to realize. You mentioned finding a man more than once, but right now the most important person on your list should be you. Get you healthy. Get you happy. Start by reading RJ's book and learning about the program she put together to get her own addiction under control. She talks about diet and exercise which not only help us combat the lure of drink but also contribute mightily to our feelings of wellbeing (not to mention making our bods look much better). It all starts an upward spiral versus the downward one where booze is center stage. You are worth it. We'll support you every step of the way. And when you're feeling good, remember to lend a helping hand to one of us who just might need it that day. Best to you ---

Vera-b

[paisley]

Fed up

i want and will be the person that will confidently be the encouragement for another person.

thank you guys. i love the understanding and compassion i feel here. i just need that book to come in the mail already..

[paisley]

Fed up

I thought i would be judged but i am glad that people understand. anyway, below is my new favorite quote.

“It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumphs of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither defeat nor victory.”

i know we can do this. we will beat this addiction

[TWCOURAGE]

Fed up

You Can Do it one day at a time . Make an ap with your doctor you will fell so much better when you get it off your chest Good luck and come to the bords every day just to read and keep you AL