September Slip Club

[New Day]

September Slip Club

Nurse -- I'm feeling exactly like you today. I started the Sept. AF challenge and lasted the first 4 days. I was feeling really strong yesterday until about 6:00 pm.. I fought it off for a couple of hours, but it got too much and I thought maybe having 1 glass would make the beast quiet. Well, you know what happened ... I didn't stop until the bottle was empty. So here I am, feeling really disappointed in myself and feeling really lazy. I was so full of energy throughout the week! Even got back to the gym 3 times in 4 days. It was on the way home from the gym last night that it started ---- I think it had to do with "it's Friday!".
So, I'll start again today ... and yes, I've had sooo many more days AF than before I came to this site a couple of months ago.... so I can be happy about that.

[madeline]

September Slip Club

Bossman,

Thank you for your post. I too was planning on going AF for August and slipped twice. Twice in one month is a dramtic change from two-four times a week.

But also slipping should go away eventually and we should find strength to hold out for the long run.

:l

[KBCE]

September Slip Club

Thanks for this post Boss and for all of you who added to it. It is just what I needed. I have slipped a few times after going 14 days AF, then 12 AF. I was embarrased. Not terrible slips, but slips nonetheless. I am trying and that is all I can do. That is all anyone can do. Strong sober thoughts headed to all of you from the rainy East Coast!

[nancy]

September Slip Club

Hi Bossman

Thanks for opening a dialogue on this. I haven't joined any of those commitment threads in a long time because as you say, the voices start disappearing. I think a lot of people feel gung-ho in the beginning then reality strikes and they can't keep their promises.

We used to have a one day at a time thread and I think that is more realistic. I am with Marbella, I think sometimes the process of improving is dragged out, with steps along the way. As long as improvements are being made I think that is a good thing. I am not so much into publicly professed commitments for blocks of time AF.

My new attitude is to never drink alone and never drink to relieve a distressful thought or feeling, avoid drinking in situations where alchohol is free-flowing. The outcome is that I hardly drink at all now. If you are promising yourself you can have one, it sounds like you are still viewing it as a reward. That kind of thinking has to go. I don't promise myself one drink by myself anymore, because it's usually a reward for being stressed or being upset.

Nancy

[vera-b]

September Slip Club

Hi Boss,

Very interesting and enlightening thread. Nancy, you seem to have "evolved" to a higher place - something I think is a goal for many of us. It's more than counting the AF days or finding a quick substitute for an urge. It's a whole process that deals with our physical addiction and psychological addiction - and all the while developing a new mindset that will serve us well the balance of our lives. And I do think, as Marbella has suggested, that developing this mindset takes some time - and the lessons learned from both good times and bad. And as Boss reflected, the importance of getting back on the horse and continuing the good fight is so key. If we give up after a failure, we'll never get the much-wanted control we seek. Thank you Boss for this thread - this is precisely the kind of interesting and thoughtful support that keeps me moving forward.

Vera-b

[Theme2be]

September Slip Club

Thank you for your words.

Your words spoken are life and keep one afloat.

I abhor this.
I live this.

I have no means to make fun of this.
For it makes fun of me.

Best wishes ~

[bloggy]

September Slip Club

Hi Dolphin

You can get up again, you know you can because you did it before- I had no idea how to get of the mad merry-go-round, but I eventually did it by having three days tapering off, drinking a bit less everyday- on day 3 I think I only had 3 beers, then on day 4 I woke up and took an antabuse that was next to the bed before I allowed any other thoughts in my mind. That of course had me sorted for the next 5 or 6 days which is enough to get your head straight again and make you realise you prefer being sober to drunk.

You can do it- I KNOW you can, because I did it.

[savon19]

September Slip Club

I've "slipped" twice in 7 days. Someone said we should say "decided to drink" - I do think that's more accurate. It's not like someone held a gun to my head & said "You WILL drink to excess!!!"

Noooo. I deliberately bought a bottle of wine yesterday knowing I would overindulge. No real excuse. Although I think I used the "I deserve it, I've been so good!" [very weak!] excuse...

I had a fitful night's sleep - the way I used to sleep (or not sleep!) when I was regularly drinking. That was one of the great benefits to me for not drinking - I actually slept soundly through the night!! (Small miracle!)

One thing I learned is that I can't buy the stuff! If it's here, I drink it (sad, but true). When I was AF for 40 or so days, I was able to have a beer & glass of wine on rare occasions (maybe 3 x).... because I was OUT (and didn't have the bottle in front of me - lol).

Thing that's really stupid is that I Knew if I bought bottle, I'd drink it. This was no revelation. It was more of a Confirmation of what I already knew...

So I guess the message is: Let's not fool ourselves!

[Boss.man]

September Slip Club

Don't be harsh to yourself, IMO.

Next time, just buy a split (half bottle).

This whole thing is an awful process. It was so easy for us all to dig the hole. It's so hard, now, to get out of it.

Let's just keep going. Every morning is a new day, and a new way, and we can wash away the failures of yesterday. I'm focused on my next 10 years.

In the next 10 years, I will not waste the 3 hours per night drinking, and the 3 hours per morning recovering that I did seven days per week in the last 10 years.

That's 42 hours per week, slightly longer than my working time!

In the next 10 years, I'm going to use that time half and half. Half helping my self through reading and self growth. And half helping others through volunteering, activism and community growth. Maybe I'll just help old ladies cross the street. But that's a damn better activity than feeding my serotonin system a poison that makes my body sick.

[river0123]

September Slip Club

So very well said bossman. I remember this saying from when I was little. "If you are unhappy with your lot in life, put a service station on it." Sometimes it helps to take the focus off ourselves for a bit, and like they say, it feels better to give than receive.

I don't believe that if we slip we are back to day one. A lot of progress was made in fighting this fight, the best we can do is just continue the battle.

Dolphin, can I help? I remember you from my early days when I became active in June. You were so supporting and helpful to me. I'm so grateful you and everyone else was there for me. I truly wish you strength and happiness. You can do this.:h

[Nurseindistress]

September Slip Club

I am the queen of slip ups, and even going on benders worse than I ever did before, but since I have come here I am making progress. I never thought I would be able to go one day, much less a few without a drink. Dolphin, when I first came on this site, you were here all the time and helping others. What happened? You can start again, and like others have said it's not like starting over--you have all that experience, and know you can do it and how it feels. What is wrong that caused this? I hoped you were going to be happy?

[Carmac]

September Slip Club

Dolphin -

IT's ok....well, maybe not ok, but talk to us. Tell us how you are feeling - maybe what you think made you slip? We're here for you....

[savon19]

September Slip Club

Dolphin - what's happening?

You really sound like you're asking for help... but not sure what to do!

From what I've read, you've been there for others --- now let us be here for YOU!

I know if you're drinking, it does no good to tell you to stop. How about slow down? Maybe drink a cup of coffee or something...?

Think some good thoughts... Take a nap! (Always a good one - lol!) Watch a movie...

Or just post what you're feeling.

[savon19]

September Slip Club

Sorry about that!

You must have hit "post" at same time as I did....

We all can relate. Sometimes just want to say Screw It. Who Cares, What's the Difference, etc.

Can't tell you what to do. But if you really didn't care, I don't think you'd be posting.

Hang in. Feel better (somehow!). Sometimes life sucks, sometimes it doesn't.

[Captnjack]

September Slip Club

Dolph your not a pisshead see you tommorrow after the bottle has finished you !!!!!!. Ole indian saying you dont finish the bottle the bottle finishes you .You think you are drinking life from it but its sucking every last bit of life from you!!!!!! I love you dearly stop hurting yourself stop drinking and go to bed. Better be up early because i wanna talk to you my sweet Bassssss
Cap