almost made 2 days AF

[Rachelita]

I was going thru withdrawls and extreme loneliness on day 2 AF and I went to get more wine. A double bottle of white o go with my broccoli and salmon. Problem is, I don't get happy on it anymore; I feel like shit. I'm feeling all hot and sweaty just like I did earlier. It sucks. What ever happened to the happy feeling it gave me? Why is he such an asshole? I'll prolly finish the bottle, finally get some albeit not true sleep and call someone for detox tomorrow. I am just so isolated and lonely. I really need friends here; I need friends where I live more though, I've always been a social person, but I cut people oiy when they disagree with my choices. I cut out all of my college frriends because my once best friend who controlled everyone else thought I was making the worst decision on my marriage (that did eventually end up in divorce). Now my isolation is because of my on shame. Bulimia on top of abusive alcohol use rhat led to a lost job has torn me up. And led to extreme alcohol abuse resulting in family alienation. I am jobless and due to severe spinal issues resulting from 9 years of childhooh gymnastics, a job is a daunting prospect. I am going to try to find out about supervised withdrawl tomorrow. I HAVE to get better; I can't take it anymore.

[nancy]

almost made 2 days AF

I am really sorry you are feeling so terrible. Sounds like you know that alcohol is just making your problems ten times worse. You already have issues to deal with (divorce, health) and you are just compounding them with a bad coping mechanism.

But you can make changes, sounds like you are ready and know you can't continue like this. If you stop turning to booze, things will get better. Just read the accounts on this website for inspiration.

[cymru]

almost made 2 days AF

Sorry your feeling so down Rach. Its difficult to feel positive when your on the wine. A week ago, i thought i had nothing left. I became unemployed and my girlfriend threatened to leave, who is my only true friend at the moment. But 7 days without white wine, and im feeling alot more positive about getting a job, and my life back on track.
There are some wonderfull caring people here who will help you through the difficult times ahead, but just coming here and posting is a great start. take care

[startingover]

almost made 2 days AF

Hi Rach, I can totally relate to how you are feeling re the isolation and loneliness. We can help with that element but you need to do the work to come off the beast that is causing it. Here for you Rach whenever you need us.
Keep in touch, it really does help.

[Carmac]

almost made 2 days AF

Rachelita -

Do get some professional help. It will make withdrawal so much easier on your body and you. These people are professionals and will only be helpful.

Isolation is one of the worst things about AL and the good news, you have made a great start....stopping some of the isolation by coming here.

The previous posters advice is also dead on. The wine is only making the depression and sense of helplessness worse. Instead of elation, you feel miserable.

Do keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

[vera-b]

almost made 2 days AF

Welcome Rach,

I'm with the others - Nancy and Carmac have suggested you bring in the help of a professional and I agree. This site is wonderful for the support and sympathetic ear that is available 24/7. There are many people who share many of the disappointments you have experienced. There is also a wealth of information on many aspects of alcohol addiction, medications, supplements, etc. But given all the issues you are facing compounded by wine, a professional is certainly called for. You have already started the healing process by coming here - my very best to you, and I'll look forward to hearing of your progress.

Vera-b

[brittzak]

almost made 2 days AF

Please seek help. Withdrawal can be dangerous and painful on your own. Do not buy any more alcohol. Call for assistance or go to your local ER. Once you have detoxed, come back here and work the program as written in the book. I wish you the very best. This is hard, but can be done.

[Evie.Lou]

almost made 2 days AF

Rach,I agree with Brit..Withdrawl can be dangerous.They have Meds to help you thru.I have done it several times by slowing down until i was on 2or3 light beers a day.Then I wasn't too sick when I stopped but 2or3 beers a day is not an easy goal to reach,if your ALKIE like me...

[toughintexas]

almost made 2 days AF

Rach! What happened after I got 911 to you the other week??? They called me and told me they had found you, and they were talking to you, but I had no idea what happened after that?! Did you go to the hospital???? I have really worried about you!!!! Please let me know...... Please, please get help, did your Mom ever decide whether or not to help you get into rehab????

[gyco]

almost made 2 days AF

wow compellig story,i needed you,you are a athelete,most of all you have,stamana,have to stop worrying about,all else, this is about u,im gyco,the best freind you have is U,were just here to give u som xtra pull,and beleive me ,were MANY,welcom aboard as the CAP,WOULD SAY, THE LITTLE GREEEN GUY HAHAHA small letters gyco hahahhhahha

[kriger]

almost made 2 days AF

I am curious too as to what happened after ToughInTexas called the parameds? Did you go detox? That was a scary night and we were worried about you. What has been happening since that night?

[CS04]

almost made 2 days AF

Rachelita, you and I are in the same state (in fact, TNT thought you and I were in the same city, and I was hoping to see you and find out how you are doing.) Please let us know, neighbor!

[toughintexas]

almost made 2 days AF

Well, has any of you heard or gotten a PM from her? I have really fretted over wondering what happened, I do know the paramedics where there, they made sure I knew they'd found her....Rach, we are your friends, we really do want to help, can you fill us in???? Much love and support.....

[CS04]

almost made 2 days AF

Tough, I have not heard from her. I know she and I hadn't communicated before this, but I hope she knows we are here to help. Please check in, Rachelita!

[toughintexas]

almost made 2 days AF

I'm thinking its probably just a deal we can't handle....we've all reached out, she does have friends, ones that even step up and call for help for them, that doesn't know them at all, so.. most likely, Rach has "used up" all her family and friends....she did say to me....and her parents are able to send her to rehab, and I think they have....but she said her Mom said to her.... "So, Rach, exactly what is it you want me to do for you"....so, I think most likely, lots and lots of friends and family have tried to help, and she's just gonna have to decide to do this herself.....she's reaching the bottom, I'm sure she doesn't even remember I called for her, she had my private e-mail and never responded back......anyway, we all did our part!!!! Good for us! I hope she knows lots of folks do care, but, she has to participate!