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[newjoe]

Hello my dear MWO friends.
I really feel like hell because I promised myself that I would start a new week of sobriety after my last week of drunkenness. And I made it until about 9:00 and I said ?the hell with it? and I went to get another bottle of wine. NOT ONLY THAT I already had one bottle in the fridge. But I knew that when I cracked that 1st bottle, it wouldn?t be enough.

I wonder if I?ll ever enjoy life again, like YOU?.
I sit in this ridiculously small apartment, I have a mattress on the floor in front of the TV and that?s it. (well I have a dish and a fork too, and some clothes)
And I spin over, well, life,
And I hate to admit it but ?Comfortably Numb? works?.
And I hate the fact that comfortably numb works?.
Thank you for letting me share that?
Joe??

[startingover]

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....and you have a laptop and loads of friends here who care about you and want you well.

[newjoe]

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Oh, Thank you for that. what can i say? you guys are the greatest....

[shelbysmiles]

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Joe,
The first few days will not be fun. I say get out of your apartment. Go somewhere. I know Sacramento has bookstores and coffee shops. Try to go to Barnes and Nobles one night. Find a book and sit and read. The great thing is you do not have to buy the book! Get away from your normal surroundings. You can do it.

[newjoe]

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thank you so much shelby...

[cymru]

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Agree with the above Joe. As long as youve got that p.c turned on your not on your own, your with us, and were all in the same boat helping eachother get better. Be strong and take care.

[Carmac]

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Joe -

Totally agree with Shelby. Change your surroundings. Walk the neighborhood. Go to the grocery store and spend the money you would have spent on something yummy for dinner. Have a book? Go to the nearest park and just chill with it, people watching. (There are some fascinating types out there....but not nearly as nice as those of us here)

Find an AA meeting. The hardest thing is walking in the door. I have a great woman's group I go to. Took me a few meetings to find a group I fit in with but once I did...they have been a lifesaver. (And I have never laughed so hard as I do at those meetings. We alckies have great alkie stories)

Have you considered antabuse?

[Boss.man]

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Joe I hear you.

I live in an expensive house, with a pool and hot tub. I have a lovely $5000 per month payment for it, which is prolly a bit more than your apartment rent. And yet, despite our differences, I still do the same stupid thing as you do; drink to escape.

You wonder whether you will ever enjoy life like me? Do you actually want my night terrors and sweats and pondering whether I can even afford my family home during what is turning out to be a 3 year recession?

No. My problems, and your problems, are best solved sober. And we can't hit ourselves for wanting to go blotto. But the easy way out, is not the real way out. You know the path as well as I do. Let's sober up, and work on getting some natural sleep, and some natural stress relief. The problems are real, but trying to get a liquid to solve them is a bit of a fantasy. And I'm not really into the concept that a unicorn will help my checking account.

[gyco]

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hi joe,food for thot,listen to the people,wiser words have not been spoken,its a lonely path,have to keep busy,or we fall into the HOLE again,im on day one,AGAIN after 10 months ,this wont be my 1st fall but hopefully maybe my last,join me and others here and enjoy it is hard but i no its worth it gyco have a great day

[savon19]

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What, Boss-man??? You don't believe in unicorns (or flying horses)?? Hmmm.

But it's interesting that you wrote you have what many don't, and yet still have the same need to numb. It shows that it's not really one's circumstances that "cause" us to drink, it's our Perspective of those problems.

Or, to use that well-worn adage, "Happiness comes from within!" Yeh, yeh, sure. Easy to say. BUT I really believe that's true. It's the happiness that goes with you wherever you go and whatever you're doing... I know it exists - I think I've felt it "at times", but it's still elusive.

I know it has something to do with being HERE. Not lost in the past (wishing it away) nor lost in the future (wishing it were here)...

Maybe we need the bottle because we were weaned too soon!!

Hang in there, Joe!!

[nancy]

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Hi Joe

Judging by some of your posts, there is nothing "comfortable" about your numbness.
You sound miserable. How can you be comfortable when you must have horrible hangovers, maybe phys health problems. Talk about discomfort.

Alcohol will make you more depressed, keeping you in a rut. There really is so much value in learning how to accept life as it is, and ourselves for who we are at the present moment. The last thing I want to do at the moment is drown out problems because I don't want to make them worse. See it that way.

I agree that AA might be good to provide some social support. Also, you should consider psychotherapy to help you deal with the overwhelming feelings.

And of course you have online friends!

[WaitingToExhale]

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Joe, I wrote you this morning. PLEASE call me when you are feeling overwhelmed like that .. cuz I sure as heck am gonna call your bum when I need ya!

Have you jpined MeetUps yet????????? I'm going to keep bugging you about it until you get back out there guy! =)