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    #16
    I realized that I am alone..

    Oh Savon,

    I was so angry at my God or the Universe or whatever name you want to put on it when I went through a serious similar loss to your years ago. I feel your pain. Sadly, I didn't work through it, but drank myself deeper into it ... for all those years.

    It was only recently, that the damn lesson had to hit me again, a little less serious, but still the same lesson, to wake me up enough to start the journey on MWO. There's a reason you are here. You have been handed a chance to take a lesson and learn it this time; in all of the pain and all of the loneliness.

    I'm alone too except for my furry kids. Its scary sometimes, but we really aren't alone and we need to remember that. I have tears as I am typing this because I can relate so much to your hurt and what you are feeling. But whatever or whoever presented us with these challenges and lessons, also brought us here to this wonderful loving family of people. We have to have faith, if in nothing else, in this "family".

    Hugs
    WTE

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      #17
      I realized that I am alone..

      I am here...I care, alot...Stay close to this site and let us get to know you better.
      sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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        #18
        I realized that I am alone..

        Savon,
        please let us know how you are doing today. We all care.
        HW

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          #19
          I realized that I am alone..

          Savon...

          I am Ripple and i have kittens .... how many do you want??? I am going to Florida in November i can bring them to you. :l

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            #20
            I realized that I am alone..

            My heart goes out to you. Sudden loss is extremely difficult...staying drunk through it...is even more difficult. When you sober up, the sad truth is your loved one is still gone and you have the hangover from hell. Start embracing your loss now, all you are doing is prolonging your pain. He would not want this for you.
            Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

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              #21
              I realized that I am alone..

              Thanks again to ALL! Really had a bad day yesterday. Today WILL be better.

              And I know that booze isn't going to help anything. The sad thing is, I really had a grip on it - stopped for over 30 days. Then let it out of the bag with a vengeance!

              It's such an overused term - but ONE DAY AT A TIME is the only way we can do it!

              Please keep fingers crossed, pray!, that I will get a job SOON. That's a lot of my problem - too much time alone. Bouncing off the walls. And I HAVE to get out of the "pity me" zone. Just doesn't solve anything and makes things Worse.

              Gotta get out of the cycle of "feel bad, drink, feel guilty, feel worse, drink, etc."!!!

              Hope you all have a great Sunday. I will get better!
              Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                #22
                I realized that I am alone..

                Hi Savon,

                Just remember you are always somebodys Angel, even if you don't know it!
                "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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                  #23
                  I realized that I am alone..

                  I am with you Savon. I had something like 40 days when I let my guard down. I am now on Day 4. It is tougher every time. I too must stay in One Day At A Time mode, that is why I never join the 30 day threads. My thoughts and prayers are with you today. I could use a few too. Sunday and Football, usually a beer and pizza day here.
                  "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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                    #24
                    I realized that I am alone..

                    i know letting the guard down SUCKS...then we have to start all over again..better off staying off the sauce. it is hard work people. my mind had a short thought of wine last nite, and then it vanished...so happy i did not ingest that shit.

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                      #25
                      I realized that I am alone..

                      Stick wit hit all of you! It is one day at a time. I had never made it past 5 days and here I am starting day 9. It is touogh. I swear I thing putting the L-glut under my tongue when I think about wine is becomeing a life saver. Happy Sunday to all and together we will get through this.
                      HW

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                        #26
                        I realized that I am alone..

                        Hi Savon,

                        ODAT is my mantra. As I confessed on the ODAT thread, I, too had a less than stellar weekend. Was doing so well with the occasional glass of wine and it did feel different - having a drink for the enjoyment of it and the enhancement of a meal and not thinking of having more. And plenty of AF days that I didn't bother to keep any kind of count. Well, my cat came out of the bag last night and old habits took over. The difference for all of us is that we're committed to taming/defeating the beast and are not going to let a bad day sabotage all we've worked for. No more taking a piece of cake and feeling that we might as well eat the whole thing since we've "ruined" our diet! We're here for you, Savon. Our sobriety is our shared goal.

                        Vera-b

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                          #27
                          I realized that I am alone..

                          Savon,

                          I, too, am alone.

                          My husband just looks at my drinking as something that affects him. Yes, it does. Horribly.

                          However, I don't drink to affect him, I drink because I am addicted to a substance that makes me "feel better" for about 20 minutes. The rest of the time it makes life horrible.

                          How sad.

                          That 20 minutes is great.

                          The rest of the time is horrible. Absolutely.

                          I am going in for a spinal tap next Monday. The doctor is thinking my symptoms are MS.

                          I am scared. Hugely scared.

                          My right eye can't see except through blur. My head and face hurt all day long.

                          I am getting used to pain.

                          You and I are alone but we are also with people who care.

                          MWO cares.

                          I live every second here and working on my job.

                          Love,
                          Cindi
                          AF April 9, 2016

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                            #28
                            I realized that I am alone..

                            thats the nc thing about MWO we al hav felt that way aone time or another,lots of support here,im here for ya,hope things get better gyco

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                              #29
                              I realized that I am alone..

                              First - Cindi ---- I am praying for you, hoping that spinal tap isn't too bad & that results will be Good!!

                              You make me really feel like a wimp, though - at least (Thank God!!) I'm not going thru health problems. That's worse than... anything. You gave me perspective.

                              And this site is just wonderful, as I've said several times. I really feel people care!! And I do, too...
                              Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                                #30
                                I realized that I am alone..

                                Oh sweety. I'm sooo sorry you feel this way. Everyone here cares but i know it may seem like it's not enough. I'm so sorry you're in pain *Huge HUGE Hug* Please keep coming here and posting. Message me anytime or email me anytime, i'm here for you. I know how it feels to think, i could die and no one would even click in i'm not around for a week or so. It's horrible. Use everyone on this site, we all care. i'm here for you.

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