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    #16
    Day One

    I love the kudzu ... it doesn't give me any side effects whatsoever .... I take it a few days before and during special occasions and it has really helped...as a long term abstainer I don't need it every day now...but just to boost my resolve if I feel insecure round alcohol ....

    Good Luck to everyone modding or abbing ...

    Heavenly
    ?We are one another's angels?
    Sober since 29/04/2007

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      #17
      Day One

      Well thanks for everyones reply and encouragement. Day one didn't go exactly as planned but today is fresh and resolve hits me hard at 2:30 in the morning...I just can't seem to find it at 5:00. Horrible trigger that Brian Williams! No wine, but a little leftover bourbon (which I don't even like). But I didn't pass out or blackout...one tiny step forward.
      Thanks for the thoughts to all.
      I think I may have to start on the Topamax at least for a while...still awaiting delivery. Where is that darn UPS man anyway?
      I guess that means I'm back to day one again.
      Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... "I will try again tomorrow."

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        #18
        Day One

        ontheroad
        i didn't start until the topamax and all the supps showed up - mostly so i wouldn't have an excuse later on if i fell off the wagon. i'm on day 10 and i've been pretty jumpy but can't narrow down what it's from. probably the fact that i can't have 3 big whopper martinis every day after work and now have to find other stuff to do. or maybe all the caffeine i'm drinking now, who knows. i've been out several times to all our usual hangouts and have done very well, even a dinner on sunday where the host unloaded bottle after bottle and paraded them in front of me, "are you sure?". just told him no thanks.
        this forum really helps, even if you just log on and read for a while. don't worry you'll get the hang of it. i do think the supplements and topamax have a big effect but this forum is the real cure. stick with it, you'll get there!

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          #19
          Day One

          Wow, I'm impressed. Great willpower. Thanks for the reply.
          Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... "I will try again tomorrow."

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            #20
            Day One

            Hi ontheroad,

            I was a 2 bottle a nighter (plus sometimes much more) also. For maybe 20 years. I'm doing all the supps including Kudzo and the L-Glut and started Topa 10 days ago. Moving up slowly. No AF days yet, but really serious cut backs for me. Last night 2 glasses of wine without any struggle about it.

            Guess I'm one of the lucky ones without the sleep issues. And I take Kudzu and L-Glut during the day as well if I feel any temptation coming on.

            Hoping to move to some AF days as I move up on the Topa a bit more. I'm at 50mg now. I'm also doing it without a Dr.

            Arm yourself with WHATEVER may work for you! You can do this if you want it. I REALLY WANT it this time and DAMN IT I going to have it!

            And hang closeto the boards. Found I fall when I leave here too soon.

            WTE

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              #21
              Day One

              WTE

              20 years would be a hard habit to break. I have had bouts with heavy drinking but always been able to put it aside for a while and then be moderate. I am starting to see a pattern that when I get into relationships that aren't right for me I tend to fall into the bottle and that's where I am now. Not his fault, but mine for not being able to break it off when I know it's wrong.
              Two glasses then stopping is really good for you. I think AF cold turkey is maybe a little unrealistic for me. It's really my evening habits I need to break I guess. I have afternoon triggers but evening, after walking the dogs then feeding them it is just routine to pour a glass and watch the news. Like breathing....
              Guess I should record the news and go for a walk or something instead but I really LOVED that routine. Why is life so hard?
              Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... "I will try again tomorrow."

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                #22
                Day One

                OTR, Welcome. Never used the Kudzu. Seems to me that this program is like a smorgasbord. Try different combinations of things to see what works for you. Initially I read the book, went to the Dr. and started on topamax - about 6 mos. used the CD's, read and posted alot. Hang in there, you'll find what works for you! Glad to have you with us!
                "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

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