Reluctant to Post Comments

[changemylife]

Ive been in and out of the forums for a couple of years now. Im back AF for 6 days now.

Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't post positive thoughts about being Af because it could all go to shit again. It has in the past and feel like a jerk when I go back and read my old posts.

This is why I havn't told anyone in my life I'm trying to quit. I don't want to be the person who says one thing and does another. I want to be honest with myself and others.

Anyone feel like this?

[dexterhead]

Reluctant to Post Comments

I feel EXACTLY like that .. afraid to post about my own struggles.

[Cheech66]

Reluctant to Post Comments

Sort of but I realized it is unrealistic to think that you can tame this beast without some hiccups along the way. The true test is the first step and if the beast knocks you down you get up and start again. This is where I am at after 6 months af I am drinking again and feel awful. I will have you in my thoughts you can do this as you know this is a great place to start and for understanding and support!!!!

[Waiting for his way out]

Reluctant to Post Comments

You may not know.. but you are helping the families to understand the ups and downs of the AL and how hard it is to win the war, one battle at a time. Thank you for posting, it has saved me so much agony and kept me for feeling alone and helpless.

[tlrgs]

Reluctant to Post Comments

why be afraid ..we are not here to judge.. but to support in anyway that we can .. so dont hold back let it all out and it just might be able to help someone else in need

[Roxanne]

Reluctant to Post Comments

I think everyone goes through the same thing. You stop and start many times -- it goes with the territory. You shouldn't feel like you've failed when it happens.

[AAthlete]

Reluctant to Post Comments

Oh my God - if I had a quarter for every time I said "this is it - no more!" I'd have a lot of change on my hands. Yes it sucks to try and fail, especially given the consequences of the game we are playing - but as the old adage says "it is better to have tried and failed then to have not tried at all."

Very, very few people get this thing the first time. It takes persistence and a willingness to admit your mistakes - remember that drinking is usually not the real issue - it is but a symptom or a way of dealing with the crap going on in our lives. Sometimes, humbling ourselves and admitting our failings can be the best thing for us. Certainly bottling it does no good.

So, please post away, as we take inspiration from your successes and console you when you fall. We've all been there.....

[changemylife]

Reluctant to Post Comments

Thanks,

I will try and start posting more. The first 5 days, suprisingly, were not bad. I was calm and mellow. Today, I have some anxiety because we are going to dinner with a big Drinking Crew. My wife said just have a few drinks and you'll be fine. I told her I didn't want to drink and she got the hint. I didn't tell her I was going AF. I guess she now knows.

The summer was one big fog and I feel like everything suffered. I have a responsibility to make "all this" run. I want to be able to go through life feeling good. I want to be productive. I do not do well at social and business events. I get anxiety and start to shake especially when going to take a drink fof anykind. It's especially bad when I know someone is looking at me. I believe much of it stems from AL.

I'm sure I'll have a good time, I just need to get my head in the right place and calm down. I should try picturing everyone in their underwear. Hopefully the ladies will be wearing Thongs.

[AAthlete]

Reluctant to Post Comments

Change - that's a great attitude to take into the evening. However, if you're going to picture them, go the whole way and think 'commando!' ointup:

[uhtred]

Reluctant to Post Comments

Just trying to be normal

I am on week 3 of trying to be a normal drinker. I'm not trying to quit, just be in control. I am doing al parts of the program and so far its working. I have a few beers now and then like the people I used to admire, and feel in control. Hope I can keep it up.

[changemylife]

Reluctant to Post Comments

I know how you feel uhtred. You can do it. Stay focused.

[Rags]

Reluctant to Post Comments

AA said it all for me.
Why do we always dwell on the negative? We move towards what we think about, and that is only reinforcing the negative aspects of ourselves, and all that goes with it... low self esteem etc etc..

[savon19]

Reluctant to Post Comments

Change - I had 30+ days AF... then LOST it.

Then thot I was on board yesterday. Felt Good AF.

Today... not so much!

I don't how I did the month AF - really felt good.

Then... fell off. That proverbial wagon. Just "because"?? Don't know.

But I DO know that it Does feel good to be AF!!

Just too chicken shit to get there.

But.. I'm still here reading. Feeling inspired by all of you!

OPTION: Drink a bit more & sleep (pass out until I wake up at Horrible hour?)... OR eat something & Stop driinking?

Doesn't that seem like an obvious choice?

RAGS - yes. Suck in the negative or... suck in the Positive!

Love all.

[vera-b]

Reluctant to Post Comments

Hi Change, and welcome back!

Of course we all go up and down. The difference, at least for me, is the long term trend. Think of the stock market in a bull market. The trend is upward, but there can be dips on any given day at any given moment. Think about your attitude today and what it was like before you got here. Most of us thought we were complete losers who were clueless on how to get the AL beast under control. But with the MWO tools and community, we know there is a better life just waiting for us to fully explore it. So, even with slips, we try to get back in the saddle. I've had a couple of slips myself, but am so far from where I was. No more empty vodka bottles hidden in the closet!! So, Change - and you, too, Savon - keep coming back. Admit your struggles and let us lift you up. Believe me, there are plenty of opportunities for you to lift me. Have a wonderful weekend!

Vera-b

[DeeBee]

Reluctant to Post Comments

Please, please keep posting!

You have no idea the effect it has on me (and I imagine others) to hear the honest truth about your journey. It is very seldom plain sailing and when I read of others stuggles it warns me to be on guard, not to be casual about my AF-ness and most importantly that if I do fail I will always have the support here to pick myself up again.