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[changemylife]

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Dinner went well and so far the weekend is going ok. Had some friends over and there are two open bottles of wine on the counter. I am in a good place so I will not drink them. Still AF. Tomorrow, I have another party to go to. Life just keeps throwing the booze in my face. I'm ok with it.

[lil.michelle]

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Hey!
Yes i have felt like this! For years every other day i would say, RIGHT i'm going to stop drinking and that night be on the drink. Even when joining here and getting all the supplements, i screwed up many times but i'm FINALLY on track. I also felt and sometimes feel like i shouldn't post or reply to anyone on here as i still sometimes slip but we're all the in the same boat and we all need support so KEEP POSTING! We're here for you no mater what. Just remember at one time or another, we've all been where you are/or were. 6 days AF is FANTASTIC! Keep it up. Stay strong!!!

[gyco]

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i to change have done the same,i should of been called the 10 month man,,but after weve been beat once again ,we kinda walk thro the door again,i herd a saying months ago,it was a doctor who is and always will be with alchohol probLem,or as they here in canada refer to it as alchoholic or in lamins term CAS chronic alchohol syndrome what dont we get we just cant drink im sorry if thts blunt as far as the people in my life goes will never understand there not likeme never feel guilty causse theres a lot of usout here trying to help one another have a great day gyco

[Gumby]

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Some how your post struck a chord for me...I have been on and off this site for a while now. I feel as you do..reluctant to post. Mostly because...... what do I say...I haven't improved my addiction one single bit...infact I think I 've improved my excuses for such behaviors. The bottom line, for me .....is I think about it EVERYDAY...I think how someday I will stop this self destructive behavior. I want to change and I know this is good, so I will continue to plug away at it. I feel someday, I will stop it....then I tell myself..just not today. I haven't had great success hear. It has nothing to do with this program, it is great, It has to do with me really wanting to change. I feel I am circling this ...closer and closer. I am feeling I really want this. So thanks to you I have posted again...I am rethinking things and this site does help me with staying focused on my ultimate goal of sobriety. I hope to hear more from you and I will try to do the same. Thanks

[chiman]

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Hi Change. I'm the same which is why I haven't posted here in months. But it was me, internally with the problem as everyone here has always been very non-judgemental and very supportive. And, with that, and by reading your post, I am back. So your question actually made me answer it for myself, and I knew the answer, but needed to say it to someone else.

So, with that, I'm ready to start my attempt to quit again fresh, and will come here for the help that I got the last time I tried. Today then is Day one for me - here I go!

[Evie.Lou]

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Honesty is a key part of my recovery.I hide the alcohol and lied my head off to keep others from knowing how much power that it had,over me.i didn't truly start to recover until I was able to speak my Truth.That's way this forum is here.It offers unconditional support by others who understand the struggle.If alcoholism was an easy thing to beat then who would be alcoholic...Very few WANT to DRINK..They aren't taking the DRINK...The DRINK is taking them...Stay close and we can BEAT the BEAST,TOGETHER.

[changemylife]

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Still AF. I really want to kick the cigarette habit too. I think if I can kick both, life will be so much better and about $10,000 a year better. I'm past the major withdrawal for the booze and would like to move on to smoking. Anyone do both?

[Theme2be]

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My heart reaches out from the pain we endure as the mystery of this horrid difficulty baffles.
Since I entered this site, a few efforts have failed miserably. I have learned from those that know both here and from highly seasoned individuals that : we are not our behavior.
We are of essence, an intelligent, caring, sensitive, compassionate, gathering of unique beings.

The w o r s e is to slip into the dugeon in the illusion that it is hopeless, that you/we are to give in to something of zero value.
Highly value yourself above and beyond the call of this monster. I no longer entertain the thought of a beautiful glass of wine to compliment a meal, or envision a lighthearted memory coupled with a long Island Iced Tea.
I am on ground zero after alcohol enters into my cells. This is an enemy. The confusion that overwhelms me personally is why offer it a place to rear its ugly head.

It is a terrorist. The havoc it has reaked on my life and yours infuriates me as well as just numbs my senses.

Too lengthy to go into my story, but, I almost lost everything, including my dignity.

And "it" loves it. It is no friend and s o, "it" would loving nothing more than to make you , me or any of us believe that our efforts have been to no avail.

A saving grace, once, was in desperation as I called the AA hotline , for now, I was knocking down a bottle of Patron and it was not enough, daily.
This kind gentleman said " I went to my first AA meeting in 1958 and I got sober in 63.

I rested in spirit.
I was alright, wasn't I? Would any of us, as I include myself, intentionally harm a flea or harm any being let alone ourselves?
Would I take gasoline and dump it down my precious dogs gullet?
Why would I cork the third bottle and guzzle it knowing the results so predictible,yet, now I am in the influenced trance, so reasoning is no longer reality.
It is a distortion.

Enter in these pages on MWO. This is a lifeline.
There is reasoning and a higher predictibility that means to protect and cause an influence that can't be matched and is not to be avoided, even beyond our fears and dissapointments.

Break through the shakles of the mind. Let another here take you by the hand.
While it stalks you/me/us, lets get our precious selves here and keep the vision of your lifes value alive.

Believe in the promises offered.

I am a recluse, I come here, even when in captivity by the monster, to push through its spell and then, dispell some of its imagined power, for a moment and then some more.
It weakens "its"bindings on a deep level as it snickers foolishly.

You are apart of glory.
Stand tall and breathe in the peace from the endless invitations to just be, just as you are on your journey.
You are understood, you matter and you are held in the highest esteem.

[Evie.Lou]

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I know that MUST BE TUFF..My brother got a med from the Dr. that helped him do BOTH..He is Smoke and AL free for the first time in 20 yrs...You can use the search site here and they may know the name of it???I think some people here have bought on line,off shore..