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    #1

    Ashamed

    My ex husband has just had to climb in my window because I was passed out on the bed. It was his time to visit his children. He had rung the doorbell, peeped the horn but I was too out of it to respond. He eventually got ladders from the backyard and climbed in my bedroom window.

    I then proceeded to jump up and was so drunk I fell down the stairs. My backside/cocyx hurts like hell. I'm gonna be sore tomorrow.

    I've got the book, I've been browsing here for a while. I have the L-Glut, the Kudzu, the vitamins. I'm ashamed, very very very ashamed. My kids deserve better. I hope I can do this........forever. AF forever.

    I'm humiliated, I'm sore as hell, and I hate myself. Rock bottom......I know what that means now.

    :new:
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    #2
    Ashamed

    Hey Forever. Welcome to you. I understand how you feel really. Sometimes hitting that rock bottom is the very best thing for us.
    You have some tools, you have us. You will feel better soon I promise.
    Stay close to the boards, keep reading and posting. It WILL get better
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

    Comment

      #3
      Ashamed

      Welcome, Forever,

      And Amen to startingover's post. The "bottom" is good in that the only way is up. This place will help you...you are off to a good start getting the supplements.

      Keep us posted, we are rooting for you.

      _Figi

      Comment

        #4
        Ashamed

        Hello Forever - thanks for being so honest! It's SO much easier to Not post about our shame.

        But... I think it helps both the one who experienced it AND the readers. It helps you because you come to some conclusions that maybe if you didn't write it down, you would sweep under the rug (as we all have done!).

        It also helps the rest of us. Your experience may help ONE person who is thinking they can get away with drinking without any consequences.

        Sadly, we usually have to reach our individual bottoms (ouch - lol!)... It's the WISE person who learns from other's mistakes!
        Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

        Comment

          #5
          Ashamed

          Forever;417224 wrote: My ex husband has just had to climb in my window because I was passed out on the bed. It was his time to visit his children. He had rung the doorbell, peeped the horn but I was too out of it to respond. He eventually got ladders from the backyard and climbed in my bedroom window.

          I then proceeded to jump up and was so drunk I fell down the stairs. My backside/cocyx hurts like hell. I'm gonna be sore tomorrow.

          I've got the book, I've been browsing here for a while. I have the L-Glut, the Kudzu, the vitamins. I'm ashamed, very very very ashamed. My kids deserve better. I hope I can do this........forever. AF forever.

          I'm humiliated, I'm sore as hell, and I hate myself. Rock bottom......I know what that means now.

          :new:
          :new:

          Comment

            #6
            Ashamed

            To Forever, I am new here also. My first post. I just got the book and have spent most of the morning reading it. I have felt the way you feel right now so many times and I am really surprised I haven't hurt myself in the past more than I have. A couple years ago I fell also and hit my head. My entire face was black and blue. I went to work and told everyone that I had tried out rollerblades at a neighborhood yard sale and fell. That is just one of many lies over the years. I am tired of feeling like crap every morning and not being able to function. I tell myself if I can just remember how sick I feel I won't take that next drink but as soon as I feel better sure enough I do. I have tried AA in the past also with no luck. It has started to affect my relationship with my fiance. I hide alcohol all over the house and sneak drinks when he walks our dog or goes for an errand. I am a bit nervous about this whole thing and I am not sure if I want to take the medication. I see here that some people don't and it works. I do plan on getting the supplements and the tapes. I, like you have spent many days so ashamed. I usually don't even remember what to be ashamed about. I am really sick of it and I too hope this works.

            Comment

              #7
              Ashamed

              Welcome NewTomorrow. I take the supplements they help with my craving and my mood. It is scary to give up alcohol. I try not to look at it as "giving up" something but gaining a life.
              It will work if you give it a go and have determination to succeed. You can do it hun
              Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
              Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

              Comment

                #8
                Ashamed

                Hi Forever, and Newtomorrow
                A lot of us here are in the same boat.. just starting out. There's also a lot here who've managed to be AF for weeks/months/years... so we're a mixed bunch!
                YOU ARE NOT ALONE..! Please remember that.

                I can SO identify with hiding booze around the house... Only this morning I found an empty bottle in the cupboard under the stairs (Id put it in the bag that holds our tent) cos I thought my partner or son would find it in the trash).
                Actually.... who'm I kidding... I found one the other day behind the curtain in the dining room...dunno how long it was there for, but still took a swig from it... flies and alsorts were in it!

                Anyway... no matter how bad things get and no matter WHAT you do, you can be sure to find people on here who will welcome you and be non-judgemental.
                Lots of Love,
                C
                :l
                ?I am playing all the right notes... But not necessarily in the right order.....?

                Comment

                  #9
                  Ashamed

                  For those of you who have hidden your drinking...

                  Well, it doesn't work. I couldn't believe it when my Hairdresser told me a couple weeks ago that she used to Always smell booze on my breath!! I mean, YUK. And I think I even chewed a mint before seeing her...

                  Mints don't work!!

                  I don't know why, but that struck me as being so gross... I'm sure all of us can remember talking to someone who had booze breath. Ewwwww.

                  Or... minty fresh breath with booze aftertones!!!
                  Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Ashamed

                    OK Chelle - after posting my mint thing... I just read your post.

                    FLIES? Please tell me it ain't so!!!!?

                    (Not judgmental - who knows if I would have done the same thing or not!)

                    OK... I Was getting hungry. Now... NOT so much!!

                    :moon:

                    (HEY - we gotta Laugh, y'know!)
                    Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Ashamed

                      You are very welcome here.Many of us can relate to what your going thru.Getting SOBER is a journey will worth taking Life keep getting better and better.This forum is a HUGE HELP and just be honest about whats going on with you and you will get good advise and non judgmental support.If I can do this then I know you can..stay close and we will BEAT THE BEAST TOGETHER.
                      sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Ashamed

                        Welcome Forever and NewTom,

                        Once again Savon (you're a wise one, you are!!) hit the proverbial nail on the head. We don't fool anyone but ourselves. And it's high (no pun intended) time we get honest with ourselves because that is the only way we're going to set our own worlds straight. Read the book, get with the program, and come here often for the support we all need so much. Don't be afraid to be honest with us - as Evielou said, it's a pretty non-judgemental group (something to do with those being without sin being the first to throw that old stone . . .). We learn as you learn. Looking forward to hearing more from both of you.

                        Vera-b

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Ashamed

                          Awwww....Forever. We've all felt like this...that's why we are here. Not to make light of what you did, but you should read the post titled "You know you're an alcoholic when...". It's under general discussion. It will have you in stitches or tears. Good luck to you!
                          sigpic

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Ashamed

                            Welcome to you both! You've come to the right place, so many wise and wonderful, supportive souls here. Glad to have you aboard! :h:l
                            (It may be interesting for you to read original posts of some members. It's awesome to see how far many have come!).
                            You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect. ~ Buddha

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Ashamed

                              :hello2: and :colorwelcome:

                              Forever and Newtomorrow
                              You are definitely in a Great place. You will find so many people here who have been exactly where you are. I have had so many AL related injuries it's not funny. I still struggle today. I have a way of forgetting how badly I felt, once I start to feel better. That has got to stop. I just keep on trying. I wish you both well as you begin this journey. It is so worth it.
                              "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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