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My Husband is a Drunk

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    #1

    My Husband is a Drunk

    I am a Canadian living in Munich Germany with my Bavarian Drunken Husband. My life is hell compared to his. He knows what his day is going to be like. He is drunk but everyday I have to deal with his drinking and his moods. Everyday I don't know if he will be in a good mood, a bad mood, really drunk and on and on and on. I have no friends (excluding his drinking friends who are his friends and I am just there because of my assocation with him) because no-one wants to be around him. His drunks are now getting longer. His drunks instead of lasting for a few weeks are now for a month or two.

    I am so lonely. Most nights he is in bed by 7 or 8 o'clock and I am left alone. I've told him that if he doesn't go into treatment I will leave and so far nothing has happened. Believe it or not he has managed to keep his job but I have just found out that his employer will be approaching him.

    I need a friend to help me through this situation.
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    #2
    My Husband is a Drunk

    I feel sorry that you are in this bad situation. It sounds like your hubby really needs to get help but, nothing will change unless he wants it. :welcome: You are more than welcome to come here and post and share with us.
    Sometimes I wonder...."Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"...and then it hits me.

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      #3
      My Husband is a Drunk

      Moorley..im so sorry to hear your story. It must of taken alot to come on here and be so honest. You are in a great place with people who will talk to you when your feeling down. Unfortunatley your husband really has to want to stop drinking or the drug will take over. Please stay and post.
      To Infinity And Beyond!!

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        #4
        My Husband is a Drunk

        I am looking for some kind of support group but so far nothing but will keep looking.

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          #5
          My Husband is a Drunk

          The biggest problem here in Munich is that the drinkers say beer isn't alcohol..it's bread. Also the labour laws are so strict that drinking on the job does not mean automatic dismissal. With those odds I don't see how I can get him to get treatment. Everyday I have to find ways to cope. Maybe I could write a book or perhaps there is already a book.

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            #6
            My Husband is a Drunk

            Hi M: I used to live in Munich. I know that concept that beer is bread. I remember there was a magazine for English-speakers called "Munich Found" and through this, there was a group of native English speaking women who met for dinner once a month. Many of them were married to Germans. this was before the Internet, so I'm wondering what else is out there now ?
            I was married to an American and my German never got very good. It could be very isolating. How long have you lived there?
            :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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              #7
              My Husband is a Drunk

              Welcome MMoorley,

              I am so sorry you are in such a difficult situation. I wish I could be more help, but have not had any experience in the international arena. I'm wondering if there's a local al-anon chapter in English in your area. You seem to not only need English speakers, but others who are dealing with an alcoholic spouse. Perhaps you can Google al-anon in Munich and see if there are any existing groups. It sounds like your husband is so deep in denial of his alcohol dependency (many of us have been there) that he doesn't fully comprehend what damage he's doing to your relationship. It's a very difficult addiction as anyone here will tell you. Try the al-anon route and let us know how you're doing. Best to you.

              Vera-b

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                #8
                My Husband is a Drunk

                I, too suggest Al Anon. Seems a good first step.
                Happy to be AF Since 9.13.08

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                  #9
                  My Husband is a Drunk

                  Gosh, MMoorley - that really doesn't sound good. Hope he isn't a violent drunk! It's amazing that he's been able to hold down a job. Maybe if his boss talks to him (sounds like he will) it will wake him up?

                  Good luck - and keep reading here. I agree with those who said you need to find some kind of group. Is there an English-speaking doctor who you could ask for help?

                  But as we all know, if he doesn't want to change... he won't. You may have to leave (somehow), even if for a while to show him that you're serious. If you just say you're leaving, but then never do, he won't take you at your word.

                  Courage!
                  Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                    #10
                    My Husband is a Drunk

                    Hi Morley

                    Welcome.

                    I am a British expat living in Spain and there are English speaking AA groups around- I would do as other have suggested and look for English speaking magazines and newspapers in the city.

                    In the meantime there are many books available from Amazon.co.uk with advice on how to deal with living with an alcoholic- I order from them regularly and they reach me here in Spain usually within 4 days.

                    Wishing you the best of luck, although I am a drinker, I started out my 'career' living with one, and I know how hard it can be.
                    Please let us know how you get on.

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