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I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

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    I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

    Well I have been on and off this site for a while now...I have had some success but not really. I continue to drink nightly and want to change. I am in need of motivation and I feel it is lurking. I have been a "controlled" drinker...in my mind. I have been thinking about my perceptions of my drinking and how off it is...I think they call that denial?? I don't know just a guess. The fact of the matter is there is success to be had here....I read it, I have had my own. But I am back to where I was at before. I have just switched the alcohol of choice...this has worked well for a while...but I dread myself. I gave up wine...it has been just about a year now...this was and is huge for me. I t is a stronger drink, and my evenings usually ended with no recollection of the events. I have switched to light beers but I am able to put away a six pack a night. Although maybe to some it doesn't seem like much, I don't even really get a buzz...just disappointed in myself. I somehow have to have some kind of buzz in my life to feel right...WTF?? Well it is clear to me I need to get to the root of the underlying problem. I guess this is so scary, as it will be painful...but lets face it waking up everyday saying I am not going to drink tonight....only to drink is well...annoying,dissapointing, and frustrating to name a few. So I am back here and will keep checking in on everyone and I am looking forward to success again. It was about this time last year I felt the need to really rid my self of the wine drinking and I did.....but replaced it soooooo... I am here again and I want to be FREE of the need for alcohol. Thanks for reading this post..it is long, but it surely could be longer.

    #2
    I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

    You WILL SUCCEED AS LONG AS YOU DON;T GIVE UP...AL is a lier and a powerful opponent but all of us together can beat his butt..
    sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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      #3
      I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

      Welcome Back
      I am glad that you are here. I had done the same things, switch off the hard stuff, but then Oh, can I pound the beers. No AL for me is best. I wish you well. Let us know how we can help.
      "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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        #4
        I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

        Gumby, thank you for the honest post.

        I can empathize with the self-loathing that you talk about - talking tough in the morning only to drink that same night, and doing it over and over. It was a vicious circle to be stuck in, but in my mind there was always tomorrow. I will start tomorrow - then it will be different (usually with an 'I promise' at the end) was always my mantra... But tomorrow never comes, and I would always end up drinking again to drown out the pain from not living up to my expectations, again...
        Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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          #5
          I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

          Hey Gumpy..I can really relate to your post! I stopped the wine a good few months ago and switched to beer...worked well and does work well really but I have to drink alot of it to get the buzz!!! I too need a buzz and not sure why. Actually I do..I think its coz I'm a bored stay at home mum!!!! Anyway, my advice to you is ...find out WHY you need to get a kick/buzz from alcohol and then address the issue.....? (Can you let me know when you have) lol... Not sure but maybe worth a try? Good luck to you and keep posting Bella xXXX

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            #6
            I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

            Gumby,

            Check my post out (IM BACKKKKKK)I am right there with you. Starting over again is tough but as you know this is the best place to start!!! I know the evenings are tough and what I did was just drank water instead of beer ALOTTTTTT of water. I was up going to the bathroom but I was doing that with drinking beer so I figured whats worse??!! To start is tough and takes courage and you at least are trying you should feel good about that. Keep posting I do most of mine during the day because that is when I have access to the computer!! I will devulge more about my situation as I go along but just know you are not alone I am right there with you Keep Up the FIGHT!!!!

            Cheech66

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              #7
              I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

              Thanks everyone..... this is why I am back...the words of wisdom are so helpful!! I love the common grounds we are all on and the successes keep me hopeful;-)

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                #8
                I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

                well put gumby keep smilin!! or at least keep tryin!!

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                  #9
                  I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

                  I'm not sure what the exact quote is but something like this: There is no failure except in no longer trying!!! That says it all. Gumby, Stay with us and keep trying. This is not an easy road but with all of us here we will conquer this beast together. I hope to get to know you better. Kriger
                  "People usually fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning." Lao-Tzu

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                    #10
                    I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

                    Hi Gumby! Love your choice of Avatar Just wanted to add that I feel like you. I am a wine drinker and after this past Sat. nights gong show think that I never should touch the stuff again. I have recently started drinking every evening but 1 or possible 2. I realize this is a problem and I am happy that I am not alone in my dilema. I am going to work hard at taking care of myself. Please feel free to get in touch with me and maybe we can start a AF month together. So far I am on day 2, lol, because it is only Mon. after a horrible party night. I do not want to be sucked back into a bottle tomorrow or the next day. Let me know, Luckygirl
                    awprint:

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                      #11
                      I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

                      Welcome Gumby,

                      There is no shame in coming back. Those of us who haven't left just yet have had our bad days, too! I'm curious - how did you make progress with MWO the first time? Did you use meds, supps, the cd's? Will that work again? We'll give you all the support we can. Looking forward to seeing you on the boards.

                      Vera-b

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                        #12
                        I am trying again..don't see this title to often..hahaha

                        Welcome back
                        I'm glad that you haven't given up and came back to MWO. You have done it before and you can do again.

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