I have no hope.

[noma'am]

I just want to die right now. My husband went from saying everything is ok a couple of days ago to not speaking to me unless he absoulutely has to yesterday and today. His hatred for me right now is more than clear. I am so nervous and scared and I cannot stop crying. I actually went to an AA meeting last night. I just couldn't stay around the house and I didn't want my kids to see my distress. I don't know how to get through this day. I am in so much pain that I feel like I'm going to explode. I just can't handle this.

[LookingToGrow]

I have no hope.

Noma'am, are you in the US?

[greeneyes]

I have no hope.

Are his feelings over drinking?

[Popeye]

I have no hope.

Your pain is so obvious my friend. I wish there were something I could say to make you a little better.
Like everything in life, this state of affairs will change; hopefully for the better. There is always hope.
Please don't give up the hopes you have for you and yours. Try and work towards getting yourself away from any guilt you may be feeling. Guilt, like worry is a useless emotion. Replace them with a little hope and courage, which I am sure lie within you somewhere.
Take care

[A Work in Progress]

I have no hope.

Good that you went to an AA meeting! Did you tell them what's going on? Did you get some phone numbers? It would be a GREAT idea to go back to another meeting today, if AT ALL possible, and to call the folks that you met there.

wip

[AAthlete]

I have no hope.

I agree with WIP - get to another meeting if you can (and share your story - people will be there for you). I was in a very similar spot to you in that my wife was ready to leave me and take my son with her. It was a hellish time in my life and full of desperation, but I got through it by attending meetings and taking it all one day at a time.

[Evie.Lou]

I have no hope.

I want so much to help you!!! Please give us a little more details?? I know of women who's husbands have given up on them until they asked him to give them Antabuse daily...That way it gives him the feeling of being able to control your drinking.Of course this isn't reality but it gives you a chance to let him know that you are serious..Does he know about this site??maybe someone here could help him,help you..Please don't give up on yourself.I BELIEVE IN YOU AND WILL HELP IN ANY WAY I CAN..

[nancy]

I have no hope.

Hi No mam

I think what you should do is imagine that you are another person. Imagine you are reading this website even, reading about someone who has disgraced herself in public while drinking. How do you feel? Do you berate her? No, more likely you show some empathy and compassion because you have been there.

Now take that compassion and turn it toward yourself. You made some big mistakes, you are imperfect, but you are not a bad person. I can imagine your situation with your husband is unbearable now. Do you have anyone close you can talk to? I agree with WIP and AA that AA meetings are a good idea to get you connected to others who have been there.

You hang in there. This problem seems like a mountain right now, but you will get by it if you work at it and commit to change. I realize your relationship to your husband is important, but more important is your relationship to yourself.

Nancy

[Seacailin]

I have no hope.

Dear No'mam
There is always Hope as long as you are breathing!!! It is great that you went to an AA meeting last night. Many of us, myself included, have lost everything!! My alcoholism was so bad that I lost my freedom. I spent four months in jail due to stupid behaviors directly related to alcoholism. Take one day, one moment at a time if you must. It is the most difficult battle that you will ever fight, but the rewards are endless. I wish I could give you a hug.:l

[Waiting for his way out]

I have no hope.

I wish I could help you understand he is waiting for you to get better, he has his good days and his bad days just like you. Sometimes he most likely feels he can handle the situation and sometimes he cannot. That is how I live with my husband and his AL issues, but deep down we are hurting and anger is often our only way to cope. Now that he is making such great progress with the program, we are on our way to recovery.
Take care of yourself first, better days will follow.

[Ripple]

I have no hope.

WHo said this is easy? It is not... eventually something bad enough happens that is related to BOOZE !!!! THERE IS HOPE ..... ALWAYS ... many people have made it. This is what works for me:

If i can make it past 9:00 PM .... i am good for another day!!! NITE TIME is MY DEMON..
REST .... RELAX ... Take anything that curbs cravings ....
TALK TO SOMEONE DAILY .... another alcoholic .... share what is bugging you!!! *
Water..water..water..
Rip... Attached files [img]/converted_files/637025=4602-attachment.jpg[/img]

[bestlifeldms]

I have no hope.

Noma'am,

Please don't give up hope. You know that you are worth the effort it will take to make your life what you want it to be. Your husband is probably in so much pain because he loves you but can't seem help you stop this vicious cycle. Find an AA meeting, if that helps you. Sending you support. Hugs, Best